My New Life in the Kingdom of Wolves

I was currently sitting at the park, watching my sister Charlotte's softball game. She was good at most of the sports that she had ever tried to play. She was always running and playing; having fun. That was something that I could never do.

My sister Charlotte is sixteen years old. She is pretty with long wavy blonde hair that all the boys love. She has beautiful blue eyes. She is tall, athletic, and she is one of the smartest girls in school. Not to mention, she can do everything that I cannot. The final blow dealt to me and my ego was that I knew she has always resented me for all the things that she has to do for me on a daily basis.

I was unlike my sister in every possible way that you could imagine. I was skinny and almost always sickly looking. My short, dark brown hair wasn't beautiful and shiny like hers. My two differently colored eyes didn't appeal to anyone around me, especially considering that they were just two different shades of brown, a warm cocoa brown and a golden brown.

And, not to mention that most people didn't even bother to look at me closely enough to actually see me because of the wheelchair.

That's right, I've been stuck in a wheelchair since I was four years old. I nearly died in the car accident that killed my dad, but I managed to survive. I think that sometimes my family wishes I would have died so that I wouldn't be a burden on them. Charlotte definitely does. She's told me so on at least two different occasions.

My mom, Lydia, is nice enough, but she's always working and never home to see the disdain and resentment that festers between me and my sister. It's not my fault that I can't do much for myself. It's not my fault that I can't walk or that I can't move my left arm. I had such limited mobility that all I could do was read, draw, and read some more. Not a very exciting life now, is it?

Still, I was usually happy. Usually, I was not a wallowing mess of emotions that just couldn't seem to cope with the life around me. Usually, that is. On days like today, though, I usually hated my life. I hated seeing my sister run and have fun the way that she was. I hated seeing everyone around me doing what I wanted to do.

I knew this was childish thinking. I knew that it was not a way that someone about to turn eighteen should think, but dammit, I was pissed. I had lost the ability to walk when I was four. I was never able to learn to ride a bike without training wheels. I was never able to climb trees or play sports. I was never able to dance with a boy that I liked, and there were no boys that liked me either.

As I sat there in silence, feeling down about myself, my Uncle Vinny was cheering my sister on. She was up to bat and the game was nearly over. I know he wanted her to get a hit, to 'knock the ball out of the park' so to speak. I didn't care how the game ended, I just wanted it to end, so I could go home since Uncle Vinny wouldn't let me bring a book to the game.

Uncle Vinny was kind, he had green eyes and a boyish grin that didn't at all suit his black hair that was buzzed military short. He had often kept his hair that short since he had left the armed forces thirteen years ago. He was a nice guy, and he had left the military after his term was up so that he could help raise us after dad died. If it wasn't for him, I never would have made it to more than half of the doctor's appointments that I needed, and I never would have been able to make it through half of the surgeries that I had to endure. He was the hero to the three of us.

I heard a loud 'clink' that told me that my sister had hit the ball that was pitched to her. That was good. Let her get what she wanted so the game could end. I did not want this to go into a tiebreaker. I had spent enough time forced to sit here and watch these games that I didn't want to do it anymore than necessary.

"Alright, Charlie, let's go!" My Uncle Vinny cheered for my sister, using the nickname he had given her when she was young. He had given me my nickname too. I was Addie, short for Adelaide. I hated my name and was glad to have the nickname to hide behind. I was already different enough. I definitely didn't need that name making it worse.

Charlotte, or as Uncle Vinny called her, Charlie, had hit a homerun. The ball had landed so far away from the main field that the girls chasing it didn't have the time to stop any of the three girls running toward home plate. I knew just what Charlie would say later.

'I only wish that the bases were loaded, it would have been a grand slam.'

Charlie was predictable that way. And sure enough, after the teams congratulated each other and the after-game meeting ended, Charlie ran up with a big grin on her face.

"That was amazing, baby girl." Uncle Vinny swept her off her feet and hugged her tight. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Uncle Vinny, but it should have been a grand slam." She was still grinning and excited, even though she was complaining a little. I knew she would say that. It wasn't word for word, but it was close enough.

"Well, you still did great, kiddo, so don't worry about it." He ruffled her hair and took her bag of equipment. "Come on, let's grab some lunch on the way home."

Uncle Vinny was already grabbing the handles of my wheelchair to help push it. It was motorized but moving on this sandy gravel that was next to the field was a little hard. I needed the extra muscle to make sure that I didn't get stuck.

"Yeah, that would be great."

They were talking excitedly about their plans, but they hadn't asked me what I wanted. This happened often. I was there but they often treated me like I wasn't. I was just a thing, a burden that they had to deal with while they went about their normal everyday lives.

If they would have bothered to ask me, I would have said that I didn't want to go to a restaurant for lunch because people usually stared at my oddly twisted left arm or my super skinny legs. And if they would have insisted on going, I would have picked a different restaurant than they decided on, because I actually hated the place that Charlie wanted to eat at. But they didn't bother to ask me anything, did they?

I endured the lunch. I did what I had to do. I ate my food and sat there silently while the two of them talked between themselves. They didn't always treat me like I was incapable of speaking, but they were excited about Charlie's game so I was being pushed aside.

When it came to two conflicting topics, whichever one had to deal with me was usually pushed aside. If it didn't have to do with my health it wasn't as important as the 'normal' topics.

I was being petty again. I shouldn't blame them since their whole lives have been burdened by me. Charlie was two years younger than me, and she had to take care of me all the time after school. She couldn't hang out with friends or go on dates because of me. She couldn't go on trips with the school or anything like that because of me. She was limited to the sports that didn't take as much practice time as the others, which were usually just recreational leagues. She wasn't even allowed to join the school teams because it required too much practice time.

I had literally destroyed Charlie's youth and I knew it. And if it wasn't for me, Uncle Vinny probably would have gotten married and had a family. If it wasn't for me, then mom would have been able to meet someone else and find love again instead of killing herself by working two jobs.

If it wasn't for me, they could all be happy. If it just wasn't for me. If only I would have died that day along with my dad, then none of them would have to be burdened by me like this.

I wish I would have died or had a different life. One or the other would be really great right about now. Anything so that I didn't have to stay here much longer.