Remembering

Why did I feel so dizzy? This was strange. I had never felt like this before in my whole life. What was going on? I blinked my eyes several times as I tried to focus my vision.

I was holding my head in both of my hands and trying to stop the room from spinning as I slowly looked around. I saw a cake in front of me, it was covered in melted chocolate that my daddy had gotten special for the occasion. Daddy only spent this much money for special things, and birthdays were one of them.

Today was my birthday, the last day of the month of fire and halfway through the sun season. But, when I looked at the cake, I saw something that made me do a double take.

'Wait a minute, didn't I already blow out my candles? And wasn't the cake pink? And weren't there more candles than this? There were only six little wooden candles on there now.' I was confused for a moment and just sat there looking at the cake.

"Addison? Are you alright, dear?" I heard mom's voice as she crouched next to me. "Do you not feel well?"

"I..I just felt a little bit dizzy, Mommy, that's all." I smiled at her as I pushed the images from my head. It must have just been the strange dreams that I have from time to time. The ones where I was in some sort of rolling chair.

"Well, go on then, blow out your candles." My dad encouraged me with a smile, his bright green eyes crinkling as the smile lit up his face.

"OK, Daddy." I nodded and looked at the cake. "This is so nice." With one big breath I blew out the candles as I thought of one thing. ``I don't need a wish, life is great enough already."

As soon as the candles were out, I felt my entire body slump to the side and my eyes closed.

"What's happening?" I managed to get the words out but that was all. I couldn't move and I couldn't say anything else. It was like I was sleeping but I could hear everything around me.

"Addison?" I heard my daddy yelling for me.

"Sweetheart?" Mom called out as well and someone stopped me from falling.

"Daddy, what's going on?" Arthur's voice sounded scared.

"Addison?" Even little Catherine was scared. I didn't want them to be upset with me. What was going on?

When I asked that question, I felt like the little bit that I could hear disappeared and was replaced by silence. Only it wasn't really silence, it was memories that came with so many different new experiences. It was so much that I felt my head starting to ache and I went to sleep all the way.

I felt like I was lost. I was standing there, all alone, in a gray room. There was light, but I couldn't see where it was from. I was trying my best to look for something around me, but I was too frightened to move.

"Hello!?" I called out frantically. "Is anyone there?"

"I'm here, Addie." A woman answered me, her voice soft and equally scared.

"Who are you? Where are you?" I still didn't see anyone.

"Walk forward, Addie, come toward me." The woman spoke again.

"I'm too scared." I called out to her.

"I am scared too, Addie, but you need to come to me. Now, Addie." She was speaking firmly now, but I could tell that it was like when my mom was firm with me, it was just to get me to do my chores and not because she was mad at me.

"O..OK. I..I'll walk to you."

"Good." She sounded relieved and happy now. "Keep walking straight forward and toward me."

I did as I was told. I walked forward, step after step. I was still scared of this big, open, empty space, but I was going to keep walking. There was nothing else that I could do anyway.

After what felt like a very long time I could finally see something in the distance. Was that her? Was that the person that I was trying to find?

"Hello?!" I called out to her again and I saw her lift her arm and wave at me.

"I'm right here, Addie, come on."

That was weird. She was calling me Addie, but my name was Addison. But I knew that she was talking to me when she said the name. I don't know how I knew, but I did.

"Keep walking, come on." She called out to me again. Finally, there might be a way out of this room that I had found myself in. I wanted to get to her, I wanted to see her and see if she could help me. So, I started to run as fast as I could. I slipped and fell a few times, scraping the palms of my hands as I went but I didn't give up. I needed to keep going.

"I'm here." I told her as I got closer to her. "I came like you asked me to."

"Thank you, Addie." I could finally see the woman that had been calling me. She was young, but I could tell that she was a grown up. She had short brown hair and brown eyes. And she was sitting in that rolling chair from my dreams.

"W..who are you?" I asked her, confused about what I was seeing.

"I am Adelaide. And you are Addison." The woman was smiling at me. "We are the same person."

"What do you mean? How are we the same? I am six and you are not."

"I was six once. Now I am eighteen."

"Are you who I will be when I am eighteen?" I was scared. I didn't want to be stuck in the rolling chair when I was awake. They weren't very good dreams when I had them.

"No, you are what I became."

"I don't get it." I shook my head at her words and tried to think about what she meant.

"I am who you used to be, Addison. And you are who I became. Before you were Addison, you were Adelaide. We are the same person. I am just the memories of that person."

"S..so I will not be stuck in the chair when I am older?" I wanted to know that more than anything else.

"No, Addie, you will not." She smiled at me softly, like she was grateful about something.

"That is good." I smiled back at her, no longer as afraid as I was before. "Are you real?"

"I used to be." She answered me immediately. "I was once real, and alive. Now I am nothing but a memory. A memory that is inside of you. You need to remember me, Addie. You need to remember who we used to be."

"Why?" I didn't understand.

"Because that was what they told me. You need your memories. They will help you later."

"How? How do I get them?" I was scared again. I didn't know if I wanted those memories.

"Take my hand, Addie. Take it and remember."

Slowly, still afraid, I walked over to her. When I was close enough she took my hand in hers and held on tight.

"Remember."

With that one word there was a flood of memories that filled my head. There were so many new things that I didn't know before. So many things that Adelaide had lived through that wasn't me but it was me. In the memories I could see them happening to Adelaide, but it felt like it was me.

"It is you." Adelaide told me as she held onto my hand. "It was you in all those memories, Addie. It was the previous you. I am you and you are me. We are one in the same."

"No, it's too much. It's too scary." I tried to pull away when I saw visions of blood and the man that was Adelaide's daddy laying on the ground hurt. "No, not my daddy." I called out even though that man was not my dad.

"He was your dad, because he was my dad. We are the same. Adelaide is Addison, Addison is Adelaide. We are Addie." She was talking loudly, trying to be heard over the memories flooding in my ears. "Say it, Addie. Say we are the same. It will make it end sooner. "

"B..but-."

"Say it Addie."

"I am Addison, Addison is Adelaide. Adelaide is Addison. I am Addie."

The memories intensified for a moment and I screamed in pain and fear. I was screaming and screaming until I opened my eyes and I could see my bedroom around me.

"Addison?" Mommy was kneeling next to the bed. "Addison, are you alright?"

"Speak to me, honey, speak to me." Dad was looking worried. His arms were still around me and it looked like he had just laid me down in my bed.

"I..I think I am." I put my hand on my head. "I..I just don't feel very good. My head feels funny."

"Here, sweetie, just lay in bed and rest up. We will bring you your cake when you're feeling better. Just get some sleep now." Daddy kissed my forehead and tucked me into the bed. Mommy kissed my head after him and the two of them left the room while looking over their shoulders at me. They were still worried about me.