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Naruto The Untouchable (Completed)

Author: kamidemond
Anime & Comics
Ongoing · 3.2M Views
  • 160 Chs
    Content
  • 3.3
    33 ratings
  • NO.200+
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What is Naruto The Untouchable (Completed)

Read Naruto The Untouchable (Completed) fanfiction written by the author kamidemond on WebNovel, This serial novel genre is Anime & Comics fanfic stories, covering action, reincarnation, isekai, anime, naruto. ✓ Newest updated ✓ All rights reserved

Synopsis

In Naruto I have Dragon Ball system but I am not a Saiyan ??? Means no super saiyan no super saiyan god no zenkai boost there is more in dragon ball beside saiyans any ways . I am gonna rule the world. One minute I dont even have chakra ???? I do not own Naruto, Fairy Tail or any other character name I use in this book beside my main character and the one I create. Join my Patreon and get 20+ chapters ahead of Webnovel updates. patreon.com/Kamidemond

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During the First Age, When Titans and Gods Descended to Asteria, A Great War Shook it, And the Shadows of Chaos Stretched it's grasps to reap what was due. There Amidst the rupturing blood shed one stood, Deceived and tortured beyond comprehension by her brothers and sisters, Soul ablaze, Scarred from the betrayal of what was once promised, She gave no quarter nor mercy for she chose the path of perpetual torment. Here she found No peace neither A Shred of redemption for a terrible violence engulfed within, Blood boiling, Seeketh Vengeance as she Scourged the Plane of existence against those who had defiled her. Adorned by a Diadem of the Symbiote, She was to be Crowned the Queen of the Betrayer Gods, And those who had crossed against her plans, Befell from spite as their Existence would be silenced to the void, There all the abominations feared it, And those who had tasted her Wrath dared not to utter her name . . . For Hell hath no fury like a Woman Scorned. *** The whole edifice crackled, For a great evil has awakened within the tomb, There she was finally Removed from the shackles of eternal slumber, The Forbidden one whose name none dared to utter. As the Whole of all known races wouldn't be able to face her Spiteful reckoning, She Stood on top of the once Sealed Sarcophagus, In all her glory, Displaying her naked features to those who had freed her unintentionally. Her eyes traced them with interest, recollecting on the past on what manner of race she had encountered and created before. The silence was defining, the grave robbers become restless, for they feared that they have not known on what they have done. Through this the dazzling beautiful figure that gave an aura of death spoke. And with this their soul froze, body stiff from fear, as they regret ever coming down here, For their lives are now at stake as the powerful ancient said to them in a debauching tone. "Asterian . . . how delicious . . ." With out any form of Arsenals in their hands, The grave robbers could only scream in agonizing terror as the betrayed goddess lounges towards them at unimaginable acceleration. Forming a spider web of cracks on the Sarcophagus, Grabbing her first prey while they stood frozen in fear. As she took the Asterian Human by throat, she scanned them once again for they wore questionable clothing that was not reminiscent of her time. But that did hinder her disposition, As she smelled the fear of her prey by hands grasp. Urine and feces wafted her nasal cavities making her grunt in disgust and dissatisfaction. complaining with no choice. "Ughhh Disgusting Mortal you shan't have blessed me with such display of degenerating cowardice and relieving excrement for your maker has been starved with eons of hunger . . . But Tis shall maketh do." With this she clawed the poor man on his throat and took the lifeout of him by his spine, Ripping it from his wordly vessel, Blood gushed around the air, spilling itself on the floor, As she held his spine and presented it to onlookers that stood glued. Only to be left with the sight of their fellow to be greatly dismembered by a crazed cannibal, With his body on one hand and a lengthened bone on the other. While this went on, the lifeless body contracted into a pile of flesh as it was seen being eaten . . . no absorbed by this inhuman foe that stood upon them. It disappeared from her clutches as if it, he had not existed in the first place, The onlookers went on and skedaddled when they realised on what had become of one of them, Fleeing for their worthless lives. "Who's next" the figure spoke. *** She was betrayed by her lover with the reason of not being good enough was imprisoned in her own grave, out of spite she vowed that she would avenge herself like all other titans. And as she Awakens what will she do to all their creations left for her to play with . . . *** I do not own the image.

Mordanis · Fantasy
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5 Chs
Table of Contents
Latest Update
Volume 1

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funmaxwell
funmaxwellLv13funmaxwell

hmm look I really really like your story's premise and I've often thought to myself just having dragon Ball Z's version of Ki and having all the knowledge of the techniques of one or two characters from the series would be overpowered in a lot of various settings and would make for an awesome si fanfic and your story's is premise somewhat close to that so I'm highly interested. but your story has some serious problems and it's hard to enjoy reading your story with these problems present in it and chief among them are grammar and dialogue issues. as there's pretty much grammar issues in every sentence of your story and the most common among them are extra words that don't need to be there or what you mean to say is there but the words are in the wrong order. and then there's phrasing and what do I mean by that it's just like you could have said it smoother or better. as a lot of the dialogue doesn't feel very natural and not like a computer unnatural more like the awkward Foreigner that can communicate his ideas but he says it like the most awkward way possible and it just makes character feel off in away I can't quite describe. I also can help think to myself is the magic pendant that increases gravity necessary? when the Naruto universe has fuinjutsu which you could probably use to replicate to the same effect. then there's a whole elephant in the room about him not being seen using dragon Ball z techniques at night or just before the sun rises or whatever. as most dragon Ball techniques are pretty much a light show and should be a beacon in the middle of the night to any civilians or Ninja who just happened to be on patrol at night and that's not even getting into the how they're super destructive. then there's the fact you give him ultra instinct in chapter 1. which made it feel completely unearned. which was kind of s***** thing to do.

EvilBlueCrystal
EvilBlueCrystalLv1EvilBlueCrystal

It's clear that noone cares about consistency or logic, just throw random elements together and hope it sticks. Well, it doesn't! First off, the protagonist's abilities with Chakra are suddenly converted into Ki for dumb reason, But hold on, there's no Ki in this world! So why would it be converted from Chakra into Ki? The protagonist is left without any Chakra, rendering him incapable of using any jutsu. Good, You've successfully crippled the very foundation of the story. The protagonist is apparently all-powerful with zero explanation or backstory, and can deal with anything and anyone right from the start. And speaking of explanations, forget about getting any, The jutsu, physical training, and interactions between the team are all conveniently skipped. Coherent storytelling is not important when you can just jump from one random event to another without any rhyme or reason, The protagonist joins a team with no clear goal or purpose, to gain absolutely nothing from it, The other characters might as well be cardboard because their reactions and inner thoughts are completely ignored. The chapter 7 and 8, where The entire mission is skipped over, so that the protagonist can magically pull some super op skill out of thin air and save the day. The protagonist can use these overpowered techniques, But even the Hokage, who's a master of all jutsu, doesn't care. And just when you think it can't get any more dumb, the author introduces skills like 'rasengan kahehameha'. No training, no progression, no details, just the MC saving the day by stumbling upon one super op skill after another with incomplete explanations.

Aledamonkey
AledamonkeyLv4Aledamonkey

Trying to rate this story accurately is impossible. The writing quality is just all over the place with so many grammar and coherence problems. It's hard to make sense of anything, which makes it impossible to properly evaluate other important aspects like the plot, characters, and world background. I can't even tell if there's a real story hiding in this jumbled mess. If I could, I would give the writing quality an even lower rating because, honestly, it's pretty bad.

AdolfH
AdolfHLv1AdolfH

Pure and hard Plot Armor... Not to mention how the author's likes or dislikes towards certain characters lead to a very boring plot......................................

Saksham_Chandel_7041
Saksham_Chandel_7041Lv3Saksham_Chandel_7041

Awesome work and I don't know what to say about this because i am only typing extra words to complete 140 words limit haha haha haha haha haha

joey_thomas
joey_thomasLv10joey_thomas

Okay from the title I thought this was going to be way different and I have to say I'm really disappointed also the main characters is too passive but the updating stability is ok writing quality is also ok overall I wouldn't read it

Lizrock
LizrockLv4Lizrock

[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]

DvD_007
DvD_007Lv5DvD_007

the problem with this fanfic is that the author gave him op powers. this has made for the battles the mc has to be boring and uninteresting. and he knows how to write battle scenes, the fight with Naruto vs Sasuke was honestly pretty good, but with mc they always end up being boring. and on the latest chapters it has become worse, now all of the sudden he went from being on the fairy tail world to somehow go to fighting Luffy 5th gear. this story has the problem that ff with op characters have, authors don't know how to balance an op character with way weaker world. MC has dragon ball powers and we all know that even at the lowest they were already planet busters, even when the mc is nerfed he is still stronger than everything in naruto, fairy tail and one piece.

PainIsReality
PainIsRealityLv3PainIsReality

Reveal spoiler

Cuteness_preacher9
Cuteness_preacher9Lv14Cuteness_preacher9

Honestly, it's an incredible premise and such amazing potential, but it becomes a self insert about the authors dreams extremely quick, so if u like that, read. If not, I'd avoid it.

RemoteRomance
RemoteRomanceLv3RemoteRomance

What the story says it is: Naruto world with Dragonball abilities What it actually is: Use the same 3 techniques for almost the entire story, swap universes a bunch, get nerfed to the point where your weaker then yamcha, no actual ki.

Terminator123
Terminator123Lv10Terminator123

garbage fanfiction.Story is all over the place.

Lizrock
LizrockLv4Lizrock

[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=fp][img=fp][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=fp][img=faceslap][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]

Tibbles
TibblesLv15Tibbles

The grammer is terrible and the dialogue is honestly really incoherent at times. The premise and knowledge is there and it would be a good story if the author could at least enlist a editor who can understand English. Hopefully this story can improve in the future.

Saksham_Chandel_7041
Saksham_Chandel_7041Lv3Saksham_Chandel_7041

Awesome work good story notso overpowered but still prettystrong ............................ if you give more chs regularly i give you more stones from thanos. So you know what to do[img=update]

necromancer5h_1356
necromancer5h_1356Lv4necromancer5h_1356

everything was well placed and I liked the story as it was not boring

cavaliere_royale
cavaliere_royaleLv4cavaliere_royale

it's good but hiruzen is alive.only for this i quit, sorry writer it's realy good but how can you let him live[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]

Hsaet_Uchiha
Hsaet_UchihaLv4Hsaet_Uchiha

I only read to the end of Naruto shippuden and it is a good story. there are few problems here and there but in all I loved it.

Now_You_S33_Me
Now_You_S33_MeLv4Now_You_S33_Me

This is the best Goku FF that I have read!. It really is entertaining, as much as I'd like to admit. I will love it if the author posted more chapters. But I guess o would rather have Quality than quantity.

DaoistpLVqvD
DaoistpLVqvDLv14DaoistpLVqvD

Awesome sauce love it [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

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