I believe in you!

It's a pretty good story. The plot is interesting and I am quite enjoying the story development. It gets better and better with every chapter. You need to work a bit more on your grammar and sentence structure, but then again, it does improve with every chapter, so the fact that you are learning and get better, must be appreciated. Keep it up! The story really has the potential to be amazing!

To be honest, the story is a little weird, but in a fun and interesting way. I'm in love with the protagonist, though. She's extremely funny, and her cute personality makes you want to stay for more than one chapter. The narration is quite good, maybe I would love a bit more description to help me get more involved in the story, but that's not really an issue. Keep it up!

Great story. I really like the plot, and I'm also enjoying the dialogue, though I am not a great fan of that. You just manage to make it interesting. The only thing that bothers me is that certain sentences suddenly stop. I think you should develop them a bit more to keep the reader immersed in the story. The sudden interruption of the description tends to wake you up a little to reality. Anyway, good job!

Thank you! I appreciate your opinion! I use the present tense is used to emphasize certain monologues or ideas. I may be wrong, but that's how I liked it. "I also think it would be more dramatic if the angels being killed are familiar to the main lead. Readers want to feel with her not just walk with her." - Her love is for her people, not just for the ones she knows. That's why I didn't go overly dramatic.

My story moves at a slower pace, even though it may seem fast at times. That's why I didn't hurry with the introduction of the other species. There will be plenty of humans & other creatures later on. :)

Thank you so much!

Oh! Yes! Yes! Yes! Now, this is a fun read. I really love the princess, we definitely deserve more strong female characters! I'm all for that! Though I'm not a huge fan of romance stories, I do have a soft spot for forbidden love, so I'm quite enjoying this. The fact that it has vampires in it is even a bigger plus. There were a few grammar mistakes, but the rest of the narrative makes up for it. Great job!

Fairies and assassins. To be honest, I didn't expect to read something like that, but somehow you managed to build an interesting story around your idea and it turned out to be a pleasant read. I noticed some grammatical errors, but nothing worth mentioning. Overall, it is a strong story! Good job!

Fantastic world-building! I like how detailed the story is, especially because there is a perfect balance between description and dialogue, and that helps me immerse myself more in the story ( I admit, this is the most important thing for me). The main character is interesting enough to keep you reading, and his arrogance is almost funny sometimes. I mean, I know I laughed a few times. Overall, this is a great fantasy story! Good job!

I appreciate your honesty! Thank you!

First of all, I really the concept of the story. I am quite a big fan of sci-fi, so this was an enjoyable read. I wish you'd develop a bit more certain ideas, because I feel like it's moving too fast from one idea to another, and that takes me a little out of the story. Also, in some chapters there is a lot of dialogue. This is not a bad thing, but I think it should be a bit more balanced with the description, with the inner thoughts of the character, to give it more depth. I consider that too much dialogue, without breaks, is a little tiring and difficult to assimilate. Of course, that's up to my preferences. Overall, you're doing a great job so keep it up!

It's a good story. The plot is interesting and the characters seem to develop nicely. I really like the main characters. In my opinion, you should work a little on the description, it seems to me that sometimes everything moves too fast and somewhat interrupts the thread of the story. I think you could give more depth to the story if you'd develop certain ideas, and that will also help you immerse the reader in your story more easily. Keep it up!

The respawn system, the madness, the soul collecting, the dungeon feel, the monsters - they all give me such a "Bloodborne"/"Dark Souls". vibe. And I love that! This vibe is further perpetuated by the fact that the protagonist has no idea how that world works, so he has to guess certain things. He just feels so lost! Even the fact that there's an altar teleporting him around sends me back to those games. The only thing I would change... I would like the story to be a little darker, some jokes seem to spoil the general mood. I think the story would be fantastic with a more serious and grim tone! Overall, good job!

Thank you for your review, mate! I really appreciate your honesty. One of the reasons I post my work is to improve it, so any advice is more than welcomed. I am really trying to work on my paragraphs, like really trying, and as soon as I have some free time, I will edit the chapters a bit. I will also try to stick to one tense in the future. Thank you again!

Thank you so much!

No, no. It's ok. The first paragraph is supposed to be a dream sequence, I wanted to use the present tense to emphasize Shiray's involvement in the reality of the dream. I also use in some other chapters the exchange between the present and past tenses, precisely to accentuate certain thoughts of Shiray. They are in a way monologues that fix her in an observer position. She is no longer the main character, she becomes some kind of narrator. I apologize if it can be confusing.

Thank you for your appreciation. Already working on my paragraphs' spacing. Hopefully, it will improve! Thank you!

You are too kind! Thank you so much! I am trying to solve the paragraphs' problem on my newest chapters, and also lighten the mood a little. As you said, practice will make perfect.

It was my pleasure!