Review Detail of Riyah404 in There was the sunset

This story has an interesting plot. I just noticed some inconsistencies. I think you should not use past tense if you started telling it in the present tense. It gets confusing. There are too many explanations that I think will be better told through the action of the main lead. I think some readers don't want to hear explanations, they want to witness it. I also think it would be more dramatic if the angels being killed are familiar to the main lead. Readers want to feel with her not just walk with her. You had the idea but I think you want to tell it all at once. Maybe you should walk slowly with the main lead.