Review Detail of CalypsoDay in The Shadow I live With

Great story. I really like the plot, and I'm also enjoying the dialogue, though I am not a great fan of that. You just manage to make it interesting. The only thing that bothers me is that certain sentences suddenly stop. I think you should develop them a bit more to keep the reader immersed in the story. The sudden interruption of the description tends to wake you up a little to reality. Anyway, good job!