Outside In

Cameron didn’t move as the door of the van opened beside her. She steeled herself for what was going to happen next, realizing how tensely she’d sat during the long ride. This was the real beginning! Her stomach was jumping with excitement and exhilaration, but there was one little part of her, centered right below her esophagus, that was scared to death. And though she hadn’t been inside a church since her grandfather’s funeral five years earlier, she suddenly wanted to pray: “Dear God, don’t let me forget everything I’ve been taught!”

They were inside the garage. The huge steel door was lowered behind the van and the heavy clank of the locks sliding into place was all too loud. It didn’t seal out the oppressive heat and humidity of the late July day. The stale air of the oil-smeared cavern seemed to hold the heat and magnify its misery.

Silently, she stared forward, unconsciously fingering the short loop of chain that shackled her wrists to the chain around her waist, her one sign of nervousness.

“Come on, hot shot, move it out. We ain’t got all day.” The guard stood back, her hand resting loosely on her holstered revolver, waiting for Cam to exit the police van that had brought her and two other women from the City of Baltimore to their new home, Hagerville State Correctional Facility for Women.

Cameron swung her legs over the side of the bench seat and hopped to the ground, careful not to trip on the ankle chains. She stretched her back slightly to release the tension. After the two other women had alighted from the van, the second guard, the driver, motioned them through the first set of steel-barred doors, his shotgun securely in hand.

Cam let the two other women go before her. The first one strode forward as best she could with the ankle shackles confining her movements. Her attitude seemed to imply there was nothing to worry about. Cam could tell that this wasn’t her first time in prison. The second woman, though, was more tentative, her eyes wide. She was scared. Cam gave her a reassuring wink, then followed her as the guards nudged them forward. When all three were inside the small entryway, the doors slammed and locked with a heavy clang behind them. Then the iron door in front slid open to where three more guards waited for them.

“Small litter this time,” the first guard inside observed, eyeing the three women who stood before him in blue coveralls marked with the “City of Baltimore” logo. “Any trouble makers?” he asked, taking the set of files that the van driver handed him through the glassed window next to the gate.

“Nah, gentle as lambs,” the driver replied, watching the guard sign the transfer papers that released Cameron, Sharon, and Donna into prison custody. “But this one,” he continued, pointing toward Cameron with the butt of his rifle, “seems to have an attitude.”

Shit, she thought,here it comes. It’s starting already.Cameron checked her reaction, trying to keep her expression impassive as she continued to stare straight ahead.

“This a tough one?” the first guard asked, thumbing through the files. He stopped as he came to the one with Cam’s picture stapled to the front. Next to the picture, someone had handwritten a large capital “L” in red marker pen.

“Oh, another bulldyke,” he chuckled as he opened the file, knowing the “L” stood for “Lesbian,” and scanned her rap sheet. Surprised by what he read, he let out a low whistle as he brought his gaze up to Cam’s face. “A cop!” he smiled. “We don’t get many bad lady cops in here. Oh, we’re gonna have a good time.” He closed the file and handed them to his partner. “Well, Detective Sergeant Andrews,” he sneered, walking up to Cam, so close that she could smell the cup of coffee he’d just chugged. “Welcome to Hagerville’s House of Ladies. I think you’re going to be very happy here.” He waited. Cam just stood there, stolidly, hoping that her silence would keep him from pushing harder, but knowing that it probably wouldn’t.

“Well, don’t you want to be happy here?” he continued.

Cam finally looked him in the eye. “I’d rather be happy somewhere else,” she said, her voice low.

“Oh, you’ll change your mind,” he promised. “You’ll learn to love it here. You won’t be able to imagine being anywhere else. I should think you’d be real excited to be shacked up with three-hundred fifty other girls.” He stepped back with a broad smile on his face and motioned down the corridor that ended at a thick iron-barred gate. “Now, you three little ladies move your pretty butts down there and we’ll see that you get a nice little welcome party.” He pressed a button, one of several on a long wall panel. It sounded a warning buzzer further inside the prison. “Here,” he said, putting out his hand to stop Cam as she started past. “You take these with you,” he said, handing her the files, “and be real careful not to damage them. No telling what might happen if one of these precious files got all bent out of shape.” He smiled broadly as Cam took the files and started after her two companions.