Aukhemya - Gods and Alchemy

March, 27, 2018 - 05:26:10

Belo Horizonte - MG - Brasil

[??? POV]

???: ...

...

"Hmhm?"

…

"What a wild dream… What was that?"

...

...

"What was I dreaming?"

...

"Nevermind... It's time to work."

I grabbed my phone and turned off the alarm. I was used to waking up in time, but I stayed awake till 1 a.m., finishing an order. Better safe than sorry, right?

I made my silent prayer. Despite everything, my parents were Catholic and I maintained the habit of praying. Why? Dunno, but this always calmed me. And well, this is the best way to show the middle finger to them.

After stretching, I got out of bed and went to get ready. Cleaning myself, putting on appropriate clothes, checking messages, well, those things that people do before going to work…

Thankfully my room is a suite with a very wide closet, which I turned into my small workshop, so my clothes, tools and related items stay close.

Leaving my room, going through the hallway and turning right, you arrive at my kitchen and, ahead, the living room. I went straight there and turned on the TV, then I returned to the kitchen to prepare my breakfast. (We mineiros actually stay in this sacred sanctum called kitchen instead of a mediocre living room).

The channel wasn't a normal one, which you only see sad news with Tragedy and Co., it was a very important one for someone who is involved in my business.

???: "If the troll blood's prices keep increasing… Hmm, I don't think I'll need to increase the price of the recovery scrolls…

For now…

...

Tsk… Those darn overgrown goblins…"

Yeah… Troll blood… Magical scrolls…

You didn't heard it wrong, monsters and magic exist! Not just evil and scary monsters, but all kinds of creatures that normal humans call "imaginary" or "mythical"!

And of course, magic, witchcraft, sorcery, alchemy and all sorts of supernatural powers too! They are called arcanisms and are the quirks of this world.

Even angels, demons and gods… But these guys aren't exactly like the myths… Hmm, I think it's better if I use my daily routine as an example.

After breakfast, I took my medicines, grabbed my suitcase, tools, the customer's order and left my apartment. However, literally three steps later, I was ambush- i mean, i met the "nice and gentle" Mrs. Ednalva eavesdrop- cahem… Doing her daily morning inspection.

I said "nice and gentle", but this old hag is a devilspawn. Well, not literally the daughter of a devil… Biologically, she is a bestial half-human, more specifically half-woman, half-echidna. Yes, the famous race of beastmen that appear in anime and novels!

Ah, please, don't mistake the little australian animal with The Echidna, the reptilian monster from Greek mythology, mother of most Greek monsters. Interestingly... This old woman insists on saying that she is a descendant of said monster (don't even ask me what glory is in claiming to be a descendant of such a horrible being...).

Wait… Thinking about it… Maybe it's true. You see, that hideous monster progenitor could really be the mother of this accursed entity called Ednalva. Heck, I can already imagine the resemblances.

Her sinister family tree aside, she was your typical nosy, gossipy, arrogant, nosy, bossy, shameless and unscrupulous elder neighbor. Did i said she was nosy? Yes? Let's say it again then, that woman was too nosy. All this malice cubed (she was fat) and added to the characteristics of the Australian echidna: spiky fur/hair, long tongue (both figuratively and literally), teethless gross mouth (she compensates with yellowed dentures), disgusting nails painted with horrible nail polish, tiny, sunken eyes from staying up all night eating ants.

She has brown skin, "sunburned, since she has always been a hard worker", supposedly. Brown, reddish and dry eyes that don't know the meaning of rest. Wide, rectangular forehead vanguarded by thick eyelashes and eyebrows. Frizzy black hair that looks like thorns, with yellowish and gray tones. Long and narrow nose. Her lips were protruded and full, pouting, ready to dive into an ant hole. Short, 1,4 m height, but more than 90 kilograms of pure evil.

Hellspawn Ednalva: "*in a disapproving tone, with a strange accent* You left late, boy! Better run or you'll lose time! Well, this was an obvious outcome! Staying awake till late night with your business, tsk, tsk. If you had managed your time better…"

And then the old demoness would rant till i really ran out of time. But hey, if I can't avoid such thing, then I shouldn't even start a business, right?

???: "*forcing a polite smile* Good morning to you too, Dona Ednalva. I would love to stay and talk, but as the madam said, it's late, so I can't stay anymore!"

Without even giving the incarnation of evil any chance to reply, I ran down the building's corridor and left her alone. But I still could hear her grumbles, while she returned to her coven, grinding the hard slippers on the floor…

Witch Ednalva: "Madam my ass, I am still a young lass, just a bit over 50. Just wait, when I get in my bikini, any man will fall in love with my seductive shape…"

Sometimes i deeply regret having a fertile imagination, because thanks to it I briefly imaginated this purgatory vision, Mrs. Ednalva in a bikini. Dammit, I almost had a heart attack! And thanks to my weak body, this would be quite possible.

I quickly made the sign of the cross three times to scare away these nauseating images of the evil spirit as I ran as fast as I could, until I reached and entered the elevator.

Inside was Joana, the florist that lives here. She was a nymph, a minor Greek deity related with nature. While Mrs. Ednalva is the bitter hag, Joana is the nice neighbor that heals your soul with her sweet, toothpaste advertising smile and gentle personality.

Apparently she has 20 years old (but she is a nymph, so i wouldn't be surprised if she was actually older than Mrs. Ednalva), slightly curly light brown hair, tied in a ponytail with a flower-shaped clip, blue-green eyes, long, thin eyebrows and eyelashes, pink lips, a small, slender nose, and a body that would make any model jealous (no, i don't have a crush on her, Selene is my dream girl.)

Mr. Miro also was inside. Demigod son of a war god, dunno which one of them, but probably a normal one (if that's even possible…). He lives in Juazeiro, Bahia, but came to visit his relatives here in Minas Gerais, this time, a brother who lives in the building.

He looks like your average old nordestino, however he doesn't tolerate dumb questions, always retorting the fools with a tongue as sharp as his fishmonger knife, which by the way he is a real swordmaster with it.

He got a reputation for being bad-tempered, but he explains: "I don't have a bad temper, I just dont tolerate dumb questions. Oh, and people asking for directions." Even though I've only known him for a short time, I know he is a good sir.

???: "Good morning Joana. Good morning Seu Miro."

Seu Miro: *nods* "Hmh."

Joana: "*smiling* Good morning Lúcio! Nice morning, isn't it?"

Lúcio: "*with a dry smile* It would be nice if Dona Ednalva didn't stopped and bothered me with her rantings so early."

Joana: "*in a disapproving tone* Oh Lúcio, you shouldn't say that, the poor lady is old, tired, she doesnt have bad intentions. She is a nice lady!"

Seu Miro: "Oxe, since when that fia duma rapariga with a peba is a good lady? That darn hag kept pestering me ever since I placed my foot inside here with her moído in my ears! Even my comadre Zefinha wasn't such pain in the toba."

…

See? Didn't I said he was a good man?

Joana, a bit surprised with the sudden (but totally understandable) outburst from Mr. Lunga, didn't said anything else. Both stopped on the ground floor, while I continued till reaching the garage.

In the garage, I went to my pickup truck, a Mitsubishi L200 Triton Sport. Yes, I have one that… Well, this is a story for another day.

Leaving the building and going to Belo Horizonte's center, I went to a shopping center of a quite famous company in the whole Latin America, where I have my store. The company owner is a blonde scoundrel with an ugly, disgusting son. If the entrance to the Heavenly Commercial District weren't there, I would never open my store in any of his shopping centers.

Oh, you wanna know what the heck is a Heavenly Commercial District?

Heh, you'll see…

...

After a while, I arrived at the shopping center's gate, still closed to customers. But, in my case, I just needed to show a golden card for the guard in the security cabin.

Random fact: the darn shopping owner said he prefers guards instead of robots (or golems) because "you can't teach a proper 'lesson' to a machine that failed its duty". I guess you can already imagine the personality of such scumbag…

Outside, the shopping building have 5 floors. But inside…

DUM! DUM! DUM! DUM!

Too!

…

What? I dont work in a blue British police box that is smaller on the outside…

After parking and leaving the garage, I entered the elevator to the fifth floor. Once I reached the said floor, the door opened but I didn't left. Actually, one of my stores is on this floor. A jewelry shop called Golden Palm. Not worldwide famous (yet), but certainly one of the best.

Narrator: "Cahem, he actually meant it was average at best. Not bad, but nothing extraordinary either."

The door closed again, then I pressed that golden card on a very polished metallic surface above the button panel. The panel emitted a faint light. After that a voice resounded.

???: "Arcane register confirmed: Grandmaster Inscriptionist, Master Artificer and Graduate Alchemist Lúcio Arabrantes. Welcome to the Heavenly Commercial District."

Lúcio: *eyes widening but quickly calms down*

"*faking surprise* Oh, today the Ego of the Gate used the voice of the Great Lord Heimdall! Maybe today is my lucky day!"

"*annoyed* For fuck sake…Whenever the Ego of the Gate uses the voice of a god… And a big shot like Heimdall…

{A/N: Heimdall, norse warden god}

The Ego of the Heavenly Gate is an entity that personifies the Gates of the Heaven, the place where the gods and Celestials from (almost) all mythologies and religions dwell. Usually the Ego has a robotic voice like G00gle.

But when it's the voice of a deity… A Great God this time…

This is an omen for big trouble coming…

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{Author Notes}

Belo Horizonte: Capital of the state of Minas Gerais, a Brazilian state.

Minas Gerais: the mentioned Brazilian state.

Mineiro: someone born in Minas Gerais.

Dona: means madam in the context. Ex: Dona Ednalva = Madam Ednalva, Mrs. Ednalva.

Juazeiro: a city in Bahia, another Brazilian state.

Bahia: the mentioned Brazilian state.

Nordestino: someone born in Brazil's Northeast region (Bahia is in this region).

Seu: in this context, it's a contraction of senhor, which means mister. Ex: Seu Miro = Mr. Miro

Oxe: Nordestino interjection, similar to hey, huh, what, nani.

Fia duma rapariga: Nordestino expression for sonavabitch.

Peba: Nordestino word for armadillo.

Moído: means grounded, but in this context means pestering with small talk. I guess it's because it's as annoying as the sound of grinding.

Comadre: means godmother, but it's also used to address a female close friend. Ex: Comadre Zefinha = my friend Zefinha, my fellow Zefinha.

Toba: ass.

Regarding the deities ranks, the graduation and master's degree of the magical jobs, artifact classes and so on, they are in the Auxiliary chapters (though I haven't put them there yet…).

See ya all later, folks!