The story is really well written, a great start so far and enjoyable... there's just one major flaw that I recommend that the author fixes. The paragraphs are really long, making it straining for the eyes and hard to read. there are unnecessarily long paragraphs that are like a running text that flows without end. When I started out writing fanfics, that was the first error I committed that I had to learn to fix, and if you the author can correct this, you'll have very popular stories in the future based on what you've written so far. Yes, I did write this review in one long paragraph, running text, to make a point. below, I'll write the exact thing I did do far, but with smaller paragraphs as an example.
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The story is really well written, a great start so far and enjoyable...
There's just one major flaw that I recommend that the author fixes.
The paragraphs are really long, making it straining for the eyes, and hard to read.
There are unnecessarily long paragraphs, that are like a running text that flows without end.
When I started out writing fanfics, that was the first error I committed that I had to learn to fix, and if you the author can correct this, you'll have very popular stories in the future based on what you've written so far.
This should have been much easier to read and understand, hopefully, you got my point.
3.9/5 and if you correct the paragraphs, It'll be a 4.3/5.
