Panqiuyan
I liked the way how the story started. The character and world design are quite intriguing. the flow of the story is quite good too. the author's style of writing could use some improvements though. but apart from that, I'm really hooked on to this story. I can't wait for the next chapters. Thank you so much for working hard!
You have a great story and the first chapters were nice. The only problem I have found was other dialogues were not distinguishable who said it. Please put the name and action of the ones who said it. Peace be with you, I don't want to be harsh. Just wanted to improve your novel that is.... Please do the same for my novel called Waking Up In Undead World. I will wait!
Interesting premise loaded with a lot of potential. Hmnn, what can I help you with. Let's see. The author can polish the the work more by showing and not telling. E.g furious - how furious show us what she looked like - furrowed brows, etc. Anyway, may the author write more, edit more, and learn more.
The first thing that scream at me was the amount of dialogue on the starting chapters. I want to suggest the author to at least describe the setting. Yes, just from reading the dialogue, one could tell that it's set in the modern world, but I want some descriptions. If they are rich businessmen, I want a bit of description regarding their status maybe what kind of circle of people they hang around with, living situation, or how big their business is. Other than that everything is good, one thing that I love is the attitude of the main character, Lin Ai. It's a hate and love kind of attitude that I intrigue with. At the begin, lol, I want to slap her so bad. She the kind of children that I would be afraid to raise, so I'm hoping further on in the story that she could restrain herself a bit. And Learn to better herself for family and herself. Another interesting thing that's making me excited is the love drama that's going to happen soon. In overall, the story is just starting to get to the plot. It's a bit clique, but hey, clique or not, this story is interesting!
Interesting premise so far. There are some grammatical mistakes but those can be fixed with a quick edit. Author has created a nice storyline with a unique plot to the reincarnation genre. Main character is interesting as well. Just a heads-up to the author to remove the Chinese characters if you want the novel to be whitelisted again. Keep writing!