Gourmet_DAO
The world is described well, it is in other novels. This is a continuation of additional stories to the main novel. The text block is checked by two or three machine editors - Deepl, Grammarly and Online Corrector. The author has English, this is the third language. So mistakes are inevitable. The author has strengths - the historical part. Weak - psychological and emotional experiences of the characters. But the author learns from novel to novel. It’s worth reading this novel to find out where in the city you can find antiquity, how much it can cost, how to earn money having ideas, old maps, old objects. To become, for example, a guide to the new direction of Industrial Tourism. As an author, I plan to write 10 chapters, and then start publishing them. I hope I have 10 days for this. In the novel I want to talk about underground tunnels, abandoned buildings, antique things that are occasionally found in old houses buried in ravines or flea markets. Who would know that old maps of the 19th century will be in price. Even scanned copies of them, are sold from 1 pound to 40-70 US dollars. It will all be in this novel. The text block is a little clumsy, but the content will be interesting. I hope you will like it.
Curious. The plot certainly is interesting. I don't really read cultivation stories, but this seems good enough for my tastes. Storytelling-wise, I felt that the prose felt a bit stiff at times; reading like a monotonous voice robotically telling a story. Some of the dialogue felt like this as well, though not at the same degree as the general prose. All in all, a story with a lot of potential. Keep on writing👍
Good job in describing the scenes and settings very well! An interesting world you've got here! But, I couldn't visualize what the characters looked like. A few grammatical mistakes and punctuations errors in dialogues. It could use some editing and proofreading to make the scenes flow more naturally and connected. Example: "Dialogue.". Shared Dara's thoughts. It should be: "Dialogue." Dara shared her thoughts. This is just a small mistake. I noticed this 8 times in your dialogue, the question mark should be inside the dialogue, not after. For example: "So what was that"? "Is there anyone alive"? It should be: "So what was that?" Another very little mistake: You're using 3rd POV, then, you mistakenly used 1st POV, just one time. I'm interested on how the story goes because this looks interesting and unique. Keep updating, author! Best of luck!
Time for the honest review! Let's start with the positive! The plot was interesting since it was able to grab my attention from the very first chapter. As for character design, the descriptions of each character were described in the very first chapter. I know how Dara looks like since I've read your other books, especially Magic Farmer Dara in which even until this day I truly enjoy. For readers who are new however, they might not picture how he looks like since they haven't read your previous novels. I would like to suggest that you also add how they look like aside from the descriptions wherein each character was explained how he or she is co-related to Dara, the main character. Since your previous novels, your descriptions are always fascinating. Because of this, you have my praise! Everything was profoundly described, and I can truly see what the author wants me to see as if I was inside the novel itself! Character interaction is great, I see improvements here and there. It has a smooth pace and since I am a fan of the genre, it was such a great read. (Three chapters so far while writing this review) I want to see what happens next so I'll be keeping this in my library. I can convey the emotions of the character which is another strong point. For others, this may seem boring, maybe because it's not their cup of tea but! If you want it to make this your cup of tea, then I have a few suggestions. Number one, this novel reminds me of Tomb Rider (it's a great movie! Go check it out if you haven't watched it, it will truly inspire you.) If you want to keep the interest of your readers, then I suggest that you pour a cup of suspense. Make them crave for more, let them ask questions. (Cliffhangers are great when it comes to these kinds of novels!) You can add twists to it. Make quests and expeditions hard with puzzles and mysteries to solve. In this way, even the reader can play along! Puzzles are great for playing with the reader's mind. You can also add a bit of mystery in which it may seem illogical at first but it makes sense as the reader reads the book. Now for the negative! I noticed that there are some errors but this can be fixed with proofreading. I had paragraph commented some of them. I also noticed a few comma misuse but nothing to deter from the read.These are the only mistakes I've found and is not worth of lowering a star since they are very minimal. Overall, great job and I wish the author the very best!
The story is intruguing right from the first chapter. I love the way the author protrays the characters thoughts, it can be quite funny with a touch of mystery that leaves you wanting more. This story is not a cliche, the descriptions really pulls you into the historical setting and you can really imagine what kind of world it is. At this time since there are only 4 chapters, I'm looking forward to more updates. Hope you keep writing this author. Well done!
Not my cup of tea in certain areas. The main one being the overuse of adverbs by putting them into every spot one could fit them. Of course, this is just my opinion, others might like 🤷♂️. The book cover confuses me to a point somewhere up maybe down there. Otherwise? Sure, nothing wrong in a slow-going novel. Fast-paced novels are the majority so it's fun to read something chill sometimes.
For readers like me, who have a short attention span, this kind of story is going to be quite taxing to read. Immediately after a short dialogue exchange, a huge chunk of information is dumped. In addition, there were so many numbers that took my mind away from the general storyline, making me feel like I'm reading an article instead of a story. However, for those who adore highly-detailed stories, this story will be a great read.