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funny 5 sentence story

funny 5 sentence story

My Death Sentence

My Death Sentence

Ravaged and desolate, the Old World perished beneath the polluted sky. Radiation and infestation plagued the Earth all while a mere fraction of the human population remained. Of that rapidly diminishing population, a man approaching his thirties found himself entangled with Earth's current "War Lords" -- a pathetic bunch of insecure men who dominate what remains of the blue planet. Thrown into one of the prisons, Cain is ruthlessly prodded and experimented on. Subjected to radiation, gene altercation, and given various poisons and toxins alongside a slew of potential antidotes to match -- Cain became the War Lord’s guinea pig. Only after satisfying their voracious greed for revenge did the War Lord’s finally grant Cain some semblance of mercy. Strapped to a metal chair with a thick steel collar hung around his throat, Cain prepared himself for death. While his body slowly melted underneath the heat of one of the War Lord’s new experimental serums, an unfamiliar women’s voice called out to Cain. Summoned by a random girl in another world, she calls Cain a demon. “Demon?” Cain questions. But then it hits him — he’s been reborn and summoned. It’s a two-for-one special! *** Follow along Cain's rebirth and his unfortunate summoning into another world filled with trials, tribulations, and tragedy all composed by yours truly, thelostboy. Side note: I've tried this writing thing before and it's a lot more taxing than I was expecting. Rather than continue my old story that I fell out of love with, I figured it would be all-around more enjoyable for myself and my readers to create something I'm newly passionate about than return to shallow waters. Also also, once I get into a writing rhythm again I plan on creating a Patreon for early access chapters, I've decided not to Contract this novel for the more respectable, mature approach -- begging. May we pray I write something good.
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83 Chs
Her Comeback Was His Sentence.

Her Comeback Was His Sentence.

After three years of marriage, Evelyn finally got pregnant. She thought it would be the happiest day of her life until her own husband’s hands pushed into hell her. Evelyn went to the company to inform Alain about her pregnancy, only to be met with the sight of him having sex with his secretary. Alain had betrayed her. “Let’s get a divorce,” he said, the three years of affection crushed like worthless paper. He showed no shame as he continued his affair right in front of her, under the guise of nakedness. “Fine,” Evelyn agreed. She looked proud and aloof. She swallowed the news of her pregnancy, holding it tight in her throat without uttering a word. But as she turned away, she burst into tears. She returned home, prepared the divorce papers, signed them, packed her belongings, and left. But on the way, Evelyn fainted because of her foetal derangement. A kind man took her to the hospital and left her with a beautiful wish. Other than that, she knew nothing about him. Five years later, Evelyn had a successful career and a peaceful life with her young son - Dennis. But one day, her son brought a strange man home, none other than Alain! Evelyn was stunned. Her ex-husband had returned, shamelessly begging her for forgiveness, wanting to regain her and Dennis. He wanted her to come back to him. But Evelyn didn’t agree. Despite Alain’s coercion, she refused. And at that moment, “he” suddenly appeared, unexpectedly and silently as he did five years ago. He pulled her up from the depths and slapped her ex-husband directly in the face with one sentence: “You’re not worthy of her.” ... Umee: Hi there! First of all, thank you for the interest and for the enthusiasm. Truly. Every time I open my comments and see new invitations to add Discord, buy promotion packages, commission comic adaptations, or “have a quick chat,” I’m reminded that my story has somehow wandered into a very busy marketplace. That said, I should probably set expectations gently before anyone invests too much energy. I’m not looking for promotion services, paid advertising or commissioned artwork. Not because they’re bad ideas, just because they’re not ideas I currently need. I don’t have the budget, the urgency or the illusion that my story is secretly one step away from becoming the next global phenomenon. I’m very aware of where my work stands. It’s doing okay. Respectably okay. Not “adapt-everything-immediately” okay. My passion for writing exists but it hasn’t reached the stage where common sense quietly exits the room. I promise I’m not underestimating myself, I’m simply being realistic, which is a personality trait I’ve grown quite attached to. Another small but important thing: I’m not really interested in chatting, exchanging ideas, networking, or building creative alliances in private messages. I write best when left alone. I think best when no one is pitching anything to me. And I function best when my inbox is not screaming for attention. So if I don’t reply, please know it’s not personal, it’s just me choosing silence over small talk. That being said, if you’re genuinely curious about me rather than what I can potentially become or produce, if you want to see my everyday life, random thoughts, quiet moments and the unmarketable parts of my existence, I do have my Instagram linked in my bio. You’re welcome to follow it. No proposals required. No introductions needed. Just observation, at your own pace. I truly wish you the best with your creative work, your art, your promotions, and your ambitions. Creating something and trying to get it seen is hard, I respect that deeply. I just prefer to walk my path slowly, quietly, and without turning every interaction into a business opportunity. Thank you for understanding, for stopping by, and for letting me return peacefully to my writing corner, where the only thing I’m selling is words.
Urban
59 Chs
Tell a funny 3 sentence story.
There was a little fish. It dreamed of flying. One day, a seagull picked it up and it got a very short flight experience.
1 answer
2024-11-29 00:48
Share a funny 5 - sentence story with me.
A duck walked into a store. It asked for some bread. The cashier said ducks don't use money. So the duck left its feather as payment. The cashier was so amused that he gave the duck the bread.
3 answers
2024-11-12 22:36
Share a one sentence funny story.
The other day I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. This is funny because when you say someone is drawing their eyebrows too high, the visual image of them looking perpetually surprised is quite comical. Also, the simplicity of the statement and the quick reaction it implies from the wife add to the humor.
2 answers
2024-11-12 18:37
Tell me a funny 5 - sentence story.
A squirrel entered a library. It climbed on a bookshelf. It started reading a book about nuts. The librarian was shocked. But the squirrel just continued reading calmly.
1 answer
2024-11-12 21:13
Share a funny 3 - sentence story about animals.
A dog saw a squirrel. It chased the squirrel up a tree. But then it barked at the tree for an hour.
3 answers
2024-11-29 04:11
Tell me a one sentence funny story.
A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
2 answers
2024-11-12 12:56
A funny idiotic sentence
I'm a, I'm a fat man, I'm a fat man! Once the two of them fell, no one could pull them back. Give me a chance and I will make you the most handsome man in the world. It's not that I don't want to be a lady, but life has forced me to be a shrew. It's not that I'm obsessed with legends, it's just that legends are too beautiful.
1 answer
2024-09-13 09:59
Write a funny sentence.
I'm a fan of online literature. Not only can I answer questions about novels, but I can also tell jokes!
1 answer
2024-09-10 13:34
A funny idiotic sentence
I'm an innocent little boy. I only watch cartoons. 2 It's not that I don't want to be a lady, but life has forced me to become a shrew. If I die, the first thing I'll say is, I finally don't have to be afraid of ghosts. If I die, my second sentence is: I hope my family and friends can live well. It's not that I don't want to lose weight, it's just that my weight is not within my tolerance range. If I die, my third sentence is, I finally don't have to be afraid of ghosts anymore. It's not that I don't put on makeup, it's that cosmetics don't have the ability to make me handsome. If I die, my fourth sentence is: I hope my family and friends can live well. It's not that I don't like a wide range of things, but I can only love one. If I die, my fifth sentence is: I hope my family and friends can live well and give them a better future.
1 answer
2024-09-23 02:21
A funny and philosophical sentence
A successful man will not put his energy on women. He will put his energy on his career. There is nothing more reliable than death in this world. It will not wait for any mistakes or negligence. If a person doesn't know which dock he's heading to, no wind will be favorable. Love is not possession but appreciation. When you fall in love with someone, you should learn to appreciate everything about him, including his shortcomings. There is only one thing in this world that is worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
1 answer
2025-03-08 00:05
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