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jokes 2 sentence funny stories

jokes 2 sentence funny stories

My Death Sentence

My Death Sentence

Ravaged and desolate, the Old World perished beneath the polluted sky. Radiation and infestation plagued the Earth all while a mere fraction of the human population remained. Of that rapidly diminishing population, a man approaching his thirties found himself entangled with Earth's current "War Lords" -- a pathetic bunch of insecure men who dominate what remains of the blue planet. Thrown into one of the prisons, Cain is ruthlessly prodded and experimented on. Subjected to radiation, gene altercation, and given various poisons and toxins alongside a slew of potential antidotes to match -- Cain became the War Lord’s guinea pig. Only after satisfying their voracious greed for revenge did the War Lord’s finally grant Cain some semblance of mercy. Strapped to a metal chair with a thick steel collar hung around his throat, Cain prepared himself for death. While his body slowly melted underneath the heat of one of the War Lord’s new experimental serums, an unfamiliar women’s voice called out to Cain. Summoned by a random girl in another world, she calls Cain a demon. “Demon?” Cain questions. But then it hits him — he’s been reborn and summoned. It’s a two-for-one special! *** Follow along Cain's rebirth and his unfortunate summoning into another world filled with trials, tribulations, and tragedy all composed by yours truly, thelostboy. Side note: I've tried this writing thing before and it's a lot more taxing than I was expecting. Rather than continue my old story that I fell out of love with, I figured it would be all-around more enjoyable for myself and my readers to create something I'm newly passionate about than return to shallow waters. Also also, once I get into a writing rhythm again I plan on creating a Patreon for early access chapters, I've decided not to Contract this novel for the more respectable, mature approach -- begging. May we pray I write something good.
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83 Chs
Her Comeback Was His Sentence.

Her Comeback Was His Sentence.

After three years of marriage, Evelyn finally got pregnant. She thought it would be the happiest day of her life until her own husband’s hands pushed into hell her. Evelyn went to the company to inform Alain about her pregnancy, only to be met with the sight of him having sex with his secretary. Alain had betrayed her. “Let’s get a divorce,” he said, the three years of affection crushed like worthless paper. He showed no shame as he continued his affair right in front of her, under the guise of nakedness. “Fine,” Evelyn agreed. She looked proud and aloof. She swallowed the news of her pregnancy, holding it tight in her throat without uttering a word. But as she turned away, she burst into tears. She returned home, prepared the divorce papers, signed them, packed her belongings, and left. But on the way, Evelyn fainted because of her foetal derangement. A kind man took her to the hospital and left her with a beautiful wish. Other than that, she knew nothing about him. Five years later, Evelyn had a successful career and a peaceful life with her young son - Dennis. But one day, her son brought a strange man home, none other than Alain! Evelyn was stunned. Her ex-husband had returned, shamelessly begging her for forgiveness, wanting to regain her and Dennis. He wanted her to come back to him. But Evelyn didn’t agree. Despite Alain’s coercion, she refused. And at that moment, “he” suddenly appeared, unexpectedly and silently as he did five years ago. He pulled her up from the depths and slapped her ex-husband directly in the face with one sentence: “You’re not worthy of her.” ... Umee: Hi there! First of all, thank you for the interest and for the enthusiasm. Truly. Every time I open my comments and see new invitations to add Discord, buy promotion packages, commission comic adaptations, or “have a quick chat,” I’m reminded that my story has somehow wandered into a very busy marketplace. That said, I should probably set expectations gently before anyone invests too much energy. I’m not looking for promotion services, paid advertising or commissioned artwork. Not because they’re bad ideas, just because they’re not ideas I currently need. I don’t have the budget, the urgency or the illusion that my story is secretly one step away from becoming the next global phenomenon. I’m very aware of where my work stands. It’s doing okay. Respectably okay. Not “adapt-everything-immediately” okay. My passion for writing exists but it hasn’t reached the stage where common sense quietly exits the room. I promise I’m not underestimating myself, I’m simply being realistic, which is a personality trait I’ve grown quite attached to. Another small but important thing: I’m not really interested in chatting, exchanging ideas, networking, or building creative alliances in private messages. I write best when left alone. I think best when no one is pitching anything to me. And I function best when my inbox is not screaming for attention. So if I don’t reply, please know it’s not personal, it’s just me choosing silence over small talk. That being said, if you’re genuinely curious about me rather than what I can potentially become or produce, if you want to see my everyday life, random thoughts, quiet moments and the unmarketable parts of my existence, I do have my Instagram linked in my bio. You’re welcome to follow it. No proposals required. No introductions needed. Just observation, at your own pace. I truly wish you the best with your creative work, your art, your promotions, and your ambitions. Creating something and trying to get it seen is hard, I respect that deeply. I just prefer to walk my path slowly, quietly, and without turning every interaction into a business opportunity. Thank you for understanding, for stopping by, and for letting me return peacefully to my writing corner, where the only thing I’m selling is words.
Urban
72 Chs
Tell me some good jokes or two - sentence funny stories.
Joke: What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. As for a two - sentence funny story: A man tried to catch some fog. He mist. Another one could be: A book just fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame.
1 answer
2024-11-25 05:21
Can you share some jokes or two - sentence funny stories?
Sure. Here's a joke. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. And a two - sentence funny story: A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
2 answers
2024-11-24 17:32
Funny it jokes and stories
Another joke. What's an IT expert's favorite place? The space bar. Because it's always so spaced out.
1 answer
2024-11-03 01:46
Ask for some funny jokes. A joke. story. The sentence…
1 True, true, true After the two of them died, the money would be wasted. Give me a chance and I will make you the richest person in the world. After four people die, their hair will turn white. The five signs before death were smelly feet, bad breath, cough, constipation, and headache. After the six people died, the money could be wasted because the inheritance had all been donated to charity. 7 True, true, true. The symptoms of the eight people before death were: dry mouth, bad breath, abdominal distension, loss of appetite, and decreased libido. After the nine people died, the money could be wasted because the inheritance had all been donated to the temple. After 10 people die, their hair will turn white but thicker.
1 answer
2024-09-14 20:57
Funny Rugby Jokes Stories
Here's a joke. Why is rugby like a tea bag? Because it's only strong when it's in hot water! Hahaha.
2 answers
2024-11-23 06:03
Funny Chicken Jokes and Stories
Here's a funny chicken joke. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide! It's a simple play on words that always makes people chuckle.
1 answer
2024-10-29 18:25
Funny Thanksgiving Jokes and Stories
Another joke is: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself! These kind of jokes add a lot of humor to the Thanksgiving spirit.
1 answer
2024-11-01 11:51
Funny doctor jokes stories
Here's one. A doctor says to a patient, 'You're obese.' The patient says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor replies, 'Okay, you're ugly too.'
2 answers
2024-11-03 08:55
Funny Hunting Jokes Stories
There was this hunter who thought he was a great tracker. He followed some tracks in the snow for hours, thinking he was about to find a huge bear. When he finally found the 'creature', it turned out to be his own dog who had been wandering around in the woods all morning.
1 answer
2024-12-15 00:38
Rd jokes and funny stories
Here is a joke. Why is the doctor so angry? Because he has no patience.
1 answer
2024-11-21 15:00
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