funny two sentence stories

A: I'm on a whiskey diet. B: I've lost three days already.

A snail got robbed. The police asked, 'Did you get a look at the assailant?' The snail said, 'No, it all happened so fast.' For the second one, a bee went to the hairdresser. The hairdresser asked, 'How do you want your hair?' The bee said, 'Just make it look like a wasp, please.'

A man walked into a library and asked for a burger. The librarian said, 'This is a library.' The man whispered, 'Sorry. Can I have a burger?' Another one: A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

The mirror showed my reflection smiling. I wasn't smiling.

The simplicity. Just two sentences can create a whole scene and a laugh. For example, 'I told my dog he was adopted. He still doesn't believe me.' It's easy to understand and quick to deliver the humor.

I woke up to find a handprint on my window. I live on the 15th floor.

I heard a knock on the door at midnight. When I opened it, no one was there, but I felt a cold hand on my shoulder.

The first one: I woke up in the middle of the night. When I looked at the foot of my bed, there was a shadowy figure smiling at me. Another: I heard a strange noise outside my window. I peeked out and saw a pair of glowing eyes staring back at me.

Joke: What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. As for a two - sentence funny story: A man tried to catch some fog. He mist. Another one could be: A book just fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame.

Sure. Here's a joke. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. And a two - sentence funny story: A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.