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Kergonan
KergonanLv152yr
2022-03-03 04:48

So I'm going to keep it short, because I've wasted too much of my time on that novel. I've read this story because it is the first in JKSManga's System trilogy. My Vampire System has been continuously ranked in Webnovel's top ten for over a year and I want to read its prequels before I get to it. Well, MDS is a beginner novel and it shows. The MC is good, some side characters are alright, but the rest of the cast is average to bad. The background is barebone. The power system is vague, badly implemented and the worst I've ever read. The story is awful, incomplete, full of deus ex machina and feels overall artifical, leading to a rushed and unsatisfactory ending. Finally, the writing is terrible, full of typos, bad grammar, characters confusions, mistakes on homophones. Really, I work as an English teacher, and none of my students, even the worst of them, would make so many errors. I hope JKSManga took an editor/proofreader with his other novels, otherwise, reading them will be a torture. So, I hope the next volumes of the My System trilogy are better, it seems they are, but after such an experience, it will be some time before I read the second book. My final verdict is a 1 out of 10 (my first). If you want to read a very good/excellent dragon-themed novel, go for Coiling Dragon by I Eat Tomatoes, that's the novel that brought me to Chinese novels, and it is awesome. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to read Martial Arts Master by Cuttlefish That Loves Diving, an excellent author, who so far never has disappointed me. Kergonan out

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Replies3
_Water_
_Water_Lv13

the other 2 are much better, he has an editor now and experience with writing helps and makes a hugee difference, many people don't realise as they haven't authored a book but its really hard to write something ecspecially something original.

Enri25
Enri25Lv5

I get you, as I read It because of the "trilogy" as well, and got through all chapters just by keeping in mind that It was a first job from the author and that maybe he didn't have and editor back then. And must importantly because of MVS, that went from being boring and shallow, to becoming a pretty good novel in the later part of it, from the characters to the history itself. The only downside in my opinion is the "kindness/innocence" of the MC's in JKSmanga novels.

Quietquil
QuietquilLv15

Author replied to someone else that he is an English teacher as well. I guess he was anyway, because he has since quit to be a full time Author.

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So I should leave a review since I had great hope for this novel, but was disappointed. I will list the problems: 1. Grammar ...simply, it sucks. I can understand that English is not the author's first language, but there are like 10 grammar mistakes each chapter. Please, use a proofreader it's really distracting from the story. There, they're and their are different. Please learn it. 2. Writing style The limites of the language hits hard in the style department. Since the author doesn't master the language, phrases are always linear and simple, concepts are expressed one at a time etc... This impacts the story since it seems the actors themselves are basic. 3. Plot holes, world building, etc I understand you don't want infodumps, and you also don't want to spoiler the story but... Seriously, try to give a reason for things happening, and not at chapter 1000 since people will not arrive there. Sen is acting like a true 5 yo even being a 1000 yo dragon. Is there a good reason? Maybe. Without explaining, or even an hypotesis, this is simply a plot hole. Whatever is inside the mind of the author doesn't count, only what is written. And don't go "but normal books can explain after 200 pages, why can't I?" Normal books are supposed to be perfect in language use, have been read and revisited multiple time by the author and the editor team, so the reader is somewhat assured that the story is somewhat decent. On webnovel the author publishes BEFORE finishing the story and often before checking for errors. Maybe in chapter 300 the author is like "oooops for plot reason I need this in chapter 30... Too bad it's already published. Let's hope nobody notices" while in a normal book you would go and modify chapter 30 to be coherent. Now, I have gone for a bit of a rant here. TL;DR: the story is simple but ha potential... Wasted because of poor English and oversimplification

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