webnovel
Hwakin_DongLv34yr
2020-05-21 09:48

Novel has many basic grammar errors, that could be fixed with a draft. Protagonist is disappointing and lacks character. The plot and setting are also both rather cliche, but ok.

Liked by 11 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
TheGoodAceLv11
GianPLv6

So I should leave a review since I had great hope for this novel, but was disappointed. I will list the problems: 1. Grammar ...simply, it sucks. I can understand that English is not the author's first language, but there are like 10 grammar mistakes each chapter. Please, use a proofreader it's really distracting from the story. There, they're and their are different. Please learn it. 2. Writing style The limites of the language hits hard in the style department. Since the author doesn't master the language, phrases are always linear and simple, concepts are expressed one at a time etc... This impacts the story since it seems the actors themselves are basic. 3. Plot holes, world building, etc I understand you don't want infodumps, and you also don't want to spoiler the story but... Seriously, try to give a reason for things happening, and not at chapter 1000 since people will not arrive there. Sen is acting like a true 5 yo even being a 1000 yo dragon. Is there a good reason? Maybe. Without explaining, or even an hypotesis, this is simply a plot hole. Whatever is inside the mind of the author doesn't count, only what is written. And don't go "but normal books can explain after 200 pages, why can't I?" Normal books are supposed to be perfect in language use, have been read and revisited multiple time by the author and the editor team, so the reader is somewhat assured that the story is somewhat decent. On webnovel the author publishes BEFORE finishing the story and often before checking for errors. Maybe in chapter 300 the author is like "oooops for plot reason I need this in chapter 30... Too bad it's already published. Let's hope nobody notices" while in a normal book you would go and modify chapter 30 to be coherent. Now, I have gone for a bit of a rant here. TL;DR: the story is simple but ha potential... Wasted because of poor English and oversimplification

El_ShadiLv13
AshWritesThingsLv2
Related Stories

Hunter Academy: Revenge of the Weakest

What do the words Third-Rate Villain mean? Doesn't every human being possess their own background story? Just because a game hadn't explored one's background story, does it mean those characters are irrelevant? In a world where video games come to life, Astron Natusalune is introduced as a seemingly insignificant character—a third-rate villain with a minor role. However, this ordinary facade belies a haunting past that has shaped Astron into the vengeful soul he has become. Someone who would do everything for his vengeance. What will occur if Astron's soul combines with one from Earth? Will he relinquish his position as a third-rate villain, or will he forge a new path? Driven by a singular purpose—to avenge his sister's tragic death and bring justice to a cruel world—Astron embarks on a transformative journey. Witness the journey of the Astron as the young boy experiences a profound shift in his own values as he witnesses firsthand the consequences of unchecked vengeance and the true complexities of morality. -----------------------------------0------------------------------------ Chapter length 1750-2500 At least one chapter a day. You can check my discord if you want. You will be able to see the illustrations here and engage in a conversation with me if I am available. https://discord.gg/qRknX5hTur ---------------------------0------------------------------ Business E-mail: yusuftalhayasar@outlook.com Discord: _yty_

Darkness_Enjoyer · Fantasy
4.3
853 Chs