Elder Blood Witcher

In a realm of vast endless white there lays a man who has his face firmly planted into the floor, he reaches down and pushes himself up while blood streams down from his nose.

??? "Did anyone catch the number of that truck?"

He attempts to wipe his nose with the sleeve of his shirt but realises he is completely naked, surprised at this he observes his surroundings and slowly his face pales.

??? "Ok, either I'm in limbo or this is what being in a coma feels like?"

??? "Wrong on both counts Mr Ludvig"

He looks to his right and sees a mass of multicoloured light that shifts and ripples as it floats there, the now named Reima Ludvig stands and tries to look presentable despite the blood on his face and genitals on full display.

Reima "Err, so I didn't die then?"

??? "No you are most indisputably dead."

Feeling rather shocked by this revelation he scratches the back of his head and ponders what he was doing a few minutes ago.

*Flashback*

Reima and a couple other people are sat in a smokey room with a coffee table covered in bottles of alcohol of all kinds, someone takes a puff from what looks like a self rolled cigarette.

Groupie number 1 "Yo Reima, how is it going with that girl, errr Cassandra?"

Reima "She dumped me because she wanted me to be her sugar daddy, obviously if i had that kinda money I wouldn't be barking up her tree!"

Groupie number 2 "Hahaha, did you see her showing off her tits on facebook yesterday? You missed out bro."

Reima "Yeah I guess... lets not talk about that skank anymore yeah?"

Groupie number 1 "Bro you seem like you need to chill, puff one of these and it'll make your day..."

Reima who had a vague idea on what they were smoking was rather nervous to see what kinda of effects it would have on a first timer like himself.

Reima "Alright, pass it then..."

They hand it over to him and he proceeds to cough and splutter and a few minutes later his world slows down and becomes "chill", after a night of drinking and smoking a trashed and dizzy Reima starts to walk home...

Reima lives in london and currently in 2017 Sadiq Khan is rabidly pushing for multiculturalism and integration of immigrants and asylum seekers... Due to this crime is rampant and the police are having to take drastic action to catch the new wave of moped criminals...

Unfortunately for Reima a criminal on a moped is being pursued by two police vans, in the dead of night with no reflective material or lights near he is not seen. The moped who is carrying a flat screen tv managed to smash Reima in the face with said TV completely destroying it and Reima's face.

Somehow in a miracle event Reima survives this with 4k shards still stuck in his face... That is until the pursuing Police vans turn Reima's body into paste as they grind and smash him as they pass.

*Flashback End*

Reima "Expect the police to provide justice they said... Keep me safe they said" He says as he grinds his teeth.

The orb of light speaks again "Yes, it seems to me like spotting a junkie in pitch darkness at high speed is an easy task..."

Reima "Am I being sarked on by a floating rainbow testicle? You got something to say you ephemeral bean bag?"

...

...

Reima scratches his stubble and speaks "Sorry, dying wasn't really a goal of mine... Do you have a name?"

??? "You can call me being X"

Reima "Like that god from the saga of-"

Being X "No, not like that clown. I do not require brainless ideologs to gather power, I am powerful enough without outside interference."

Reima "Yeah that's great Dr X but I'm dead and I assume your gonna send me to heaven or hell right?"

Being X "No, I am not the one who oversees that part of the cycle. I was reading a novel about a god that grants people wishes and decided to try it out, to see if it seems as pointless as I thought it was."

... Reima "So your like an Otaku or something?"

Being X "It's something to do, as long as humans produce content I will be content. I would suggest its a better past time than some of my colleagues who torture souls for fun."

Reima "It does sound fine when you put it like that I guess."

Being X ripples as it gets to the point "I will grant you three wishes Mr Ludvig, please be as specific as possible to avoid genie-like mishaps."

Reima sits on the floor to think about his wishes, obviously he could just wish to be Saitama level power and Rofl stomp chumps like it's going out of fashion. But is that what he wants? Being so powerful from a weak and undisciplined human seems like it would be boring pretty quick. Not only that but eventually he would start to abuse such power, unless he sealed himself away to prevent him interacting with the world.

What about becoming a Shounen protagonist? Stupid, Kinda check? Weak to strong, check...

No, Anime is kinda its own troupe now.

He starts to think over media that he has consumed throughout his life time, most of it is western aside from those ported over, he remembers playing the Witcher 3 a year ago and wondering what it would be like to be a Witcher... Obviously he wasn't going to pack his bags and do that stupid Witcher training programme they started in Europe.

As someone who lives in the relatively peaceful 2000's Reima has absolutely no combat experience and would need to be trained from the ground up.

Reima sighs and focuses, he wants to be free, to be free he has to be strong. To be strong he has to be adept in combat... Unless he cheats with wishes. To do this he will pick somewhere that has magic, and a relatively low power level so he doesn't instantly get vaporised... But the thing Reima wants the most is experience... An adventure, to meet new interesting people.

Reima "Alright, I have decided... But before I choose I have some questions."

Being X doesn't reply and just continues floating there.

Reima "What worlds is Ciri from the Witcher able to access?"

Being X ripples "The being known as Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon due to the genetic mutation known as Elder Blood is able to randomly jump from world to world, she has no control over her destination and can randomly appear in any universe, Fiction or not."

Reima "How can the Wild hunt follow her through worlds?"

Being X "The group of Elves known as the wild hunt can trace the elder blood through the minute fractures she creates through space and reality as she travels, special magic allows them to send small groups to capture her."

Reima "Will the Elder blood effect the Witcher trials in the School of the wolf?"

Being X "The Elder Blood was created from ancient Elven mages, it was an attempt to create the most superior magic race in existence. The person who was given the Elder Blood procreated with Humans and so the Elves lost control over it. Due to it being an artificial genetic modification it will likely make the person going through other genetic modification extremely adaptable, even beyond the resistance of the one known as Geralt of Rivia."

Reima "So I would become like a super Witcher or something?"

Being X "I do not know, but you would likely survive the trials if you took this route, although the Wild hunt would pursue you as they do Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon."

Reima grins "Ok, for my first wish I want a pure Elder Blood bloodline that is immune to all forms of observation, tracking and trapping, I would also like to be able to control the destination of my world travelling." Reima speaks out loud in one breath going over what he said to makesure he didn't slip or forget anything.

...

Being X "Pure Elder Blood bloodline is originally Elven, are you sure?"

Reima smacks his head, do they even let elves become Witchers? "Ok Pure Elder Blood bloodline that happens to be human?"

Being X "You are lucky I am an amicable person. What is your next wish?"

Reima "Ok, for my second wish I would like a very fast mastery over everything..."

Being X "Can you elaborate please?"

Reima "I would like the ability to learn anything extremely quickly, not instant mastery because that takes the effort out of literally everything.

Being X "This can be done, next and last wish."

Reima scratches his chin and wonders what he needs to be effective in any world he travels to, he remembers that X men dude who could adapt to anything but still somehow managed to die.

"I would like a body that will adapt and evolve to suit anything I could need..."

Being X "Your first wish is already an essentially low level version of this... Are you sure?"

Reima "Really? How does that work... Ciri didn't seem that competent to be honest."

Being X "Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon's bloodline and genetic trait was weakened due to being a distant descendant of the original. But she gained abilities that she needed to suit her environment, her training with Geralt of Rivia allowed her to quickly dash and teleport due to her speed not nearly being close to a Witcher who had gone through their trials, her body also became stronger and faster than most humans alive.

Reima "Huh, cool I guess... Ok can I have all three Haki from Onepiece?"

Being X "Haki is the result of someone training their soul for combat, so unless you let me tinker around with your soul I cannot grant you this. Although I can start you on the path."

Reima "I guess it's better than nothing and I don't have anything else I want aside from one of those bags of holding... but I can make due, and if I'm really desperate I can just pay a visit to a realm with them present."

The glowing rainbow beanbag ripples as it confirms one more time the wishes of Reima

"A pure Elder Blood bloodline that can't be tracked trapped or observed that allows you to choose your destination and also happens to be human, The ability to learn anything extremely quickly and access to all three Haki from the realm of Onepiece. Is all of that correct?"

Reima "Yes."

As soon as he confirms it Reima is surrounded by light and enveloped, his 5.10 foot body slowly shrinks down to 3.9 feet tall, the light disperses revealing a child with white-grey hair, bright green almost glowing eyes and a thin physique.

Being X ripples in amusement "You look rather adorable now when compared to your junkie appearance"

Reima looks up and glares at Being X "Is there a reason you turned me into a child beach ball-san?"

Being X "Witcher trainees start 5 to 8 years old, although I would enjoy seeing a 18 yearold man being man handled by already trained children."

Reima sighs and almost face palms himself at his error that almost destroyed his plans.

Being X "Is there anything else you wish to ask, this will most likely be the last time we meet."

Reima "Yeah, what's your real name?"

Being X stops rippling and the colours fade a muffled noise comes from it.

Reima "Sorry what was that?"

Being X "Im"

Reima "Im?

Being X "It's Jim okay?, even super powerful being don't get to pick their names!"

Reima snorts and gives an almost Aqua smirk but manages to hold it in. "This has been pleasant Jim but I don't suppose you can assist me in getting my journey started?"

Without saying anything Reima vanishes in a flash and Jim is left alone again.

"I still do not see the point of granting wishes... It seemed rather pointless."

Jim goes back into his Otaku room and spends 500 thousand years re-watching Naruto and getting angry at Boruto.