Rafael_Carmelo
tbh I had a lot of expectations for this, but my brain hurts reading this, this has a lot of xianxia vibe, like at first when the kazekage is talking about the "will of the sand"(funnyπ) it's like those elders in a sect citing a poetry and student being enlightened and there is that refining chakra thing i could go on and on but i wouldn't really like to give so much spoilers even if the said fanfic/novel is trash
I like the premise and the story's kind of fun to read. What took me out of it was the author not considering how an adult or even an older naruto-world-aware teenager would act in the situations presented. He wants to make the MC go through character development, but he chooses to do so in a way that would work better on an actual child growing up in that situation without pre-existing knowledge of the world. Long story short, having be a reincarnator with world awareness is not conducive for the developments I'm seeing the author try to invoke in the MC. The second gripe is an extreme use of hand waving. Whenever the author wants something in the story and it doesn't make sense, the world will bend in his favor to an absurd degree to get it. His first female companion is the easiest example to cite. There's not nearly enough knowledge of the series available to pinpoint one orphan in a country on one business trip. Aside from all of that, if you're able to broaden your suspension of disbelief, it's a fun concept that has a lot of potential.
Both the story and the character I like, but it is true that the way the story is being told is quite weak, the continuous "sarcasm", jokes or occurrence that there is in the story, such as calling the background characters "cannon fodder", among other things take me out of the immersion and really, in my opinion . Otherwise I really like the direction the story is taking, but this kind of thing takes me out of reading.
author How weird is the plot Do not you think, work on MC and over minor characters and work on the plot Romance Add Pakura or OC to make MC a little softer MC got ruthless and it looks strange to me and to others too (think) and make the nickname a little original i have no idea and make a mask like the original chisakΓ© it will look so cool lan come on author good luck on creating fanfiction
Don't let the first few chapters discourage you. There might be typical cn novel lines, questionable decisions, and repetitive words in the beginning, but as it gradually goes on, you see it reduce and give a bit more focus on the actual cunning and development of the mc. It is an interesting concept in Suna too, and you dont need much knowledge of BNHA to enjoy this. By reading it all in one go, I was able to see the author's improvement with the writing quality and the decreasing amount of plot holes, indicating that the author likely also listens to productive suggestions and has a lot of potential to grow: both for this book and as a writer. Overall I found this a pleasant read. The later chapters(20-40s) were especially satisfying and I look forward to seeing which direction this goes. My only suggestions are to maybe edit the early chapters and give a bit more world building about the impact mc's choices made. Please keep up the steady pace.
Author you had me by Chisaki was reincarnated to the Naruto world. But instead of Konoha, Chisaki was reincarnated in Suna, You How sick I have gotten of Konoha for bloody fanfic I don't care if bad That fact that you decided not to in Konoha shows me you are the kind of author that likes to think outside of the box.
WARNING I HAVEN'T FINISHED READING THE FANFIC YET I really don't like all these blushing faces....... better it not be a harem story..... if it's romance then it should be Konan no more- although I hate romance so much. the story is still so good! and I can't just leave it cause it's romance(maybe I'll do that if it's an average novel/fan-fic but not if it's...well... better than average? well, that doesn't applicate to harem fanfics/novels, cause I will not even bother reading the synopsis after seeing its tag...uhm "I'm the fated villain, ATG and the servant is a demon king " are an exception tho ). and Konan is one of my fav characters so far so i guess it's ok? evaluation:4.4 only for the updating stability (there are some plot holes but they are not something to worry abt )