webnovel
OdilLv141yr
2023-05-10 08:31

Great premise, with SL fanfics being rare, I was excited. And the start was decent. But the author drops the ball hard on the romance part (which mind you is a big part of the story). By drop the ball hard, I mean France vs Italy World Cup Zidane level of hard. The MC is just a lying creep, he wants to woo the Romantic Interest but just stalks her and lies through his teeth ALL the TIME. And not white lies to protect her, or to hide his secrets etc, naah, just lies for the sake of lies. It's really hard to read without getting chills due to how creepy the mc comes off as. There's also his whole "nice guy" act, Reddit level "Nice Guy" too. Not my cup of tea.

Liked by 70 people

LIKE
Replies7
SvneighterAuthor

Thanks for the review.

TOFIELv3

Perfectly said.

OdilLv14

Thank you for taking the time to read it. Sorry if it came out harsh, that wasn't my intention, I was just frustrated by how I felt like the MC's character ruined a great premise, especially since SL fanfics aren't common. I really hope you continue writing, there are also people who enjoy your book, and I hope you keep improving. A parting advice I could give, is that creepy, manipulating or/and pervy main characters work, they just require some really good writing to keep the readers interesting. Like the pervy MC of Chainsaw man; The creepy Jame Gumb aka Buffalo Bill or Norman Bates in Psycho; And the manipulating Lelouch in code guess, or the brilliant Yoshino Takigawa in Blast of Tempest. The point I'm trying to make, is that all these characters had something that kept the readers engaged and interested in them, be it their twisted world-view, sheer horror, mystery around their end-goal, or just some redeeming feature. So I guess try giving your MC some of that. Maybe other than lying to her just to get her because he "loves" her (which he said but never showed), you depict him having moments of genuine care for her. Or make him a mythomaniac who just can't help himself but lie, instead of just laying for the sake of it when he could tell the truth... Just food for thought. Anyway, good luck on your future endeavours and have a great day ❤️

Svneighter:Thanks for the review.
Kurdi123Lv11

Cringe

Odil:Thank you for taking the time to read it. Sorry if it came out harsh, that wasn't my intention, I was just frustrated by how I felt like the MC's character ruined a great premise, especially since SL fanfics aren't common. I really hope you continue writing, there are also people who enjoy your book, and I hope you keep improving. A parting advice I could give, is that creepy, manipulating or/and pervy main characters work, they just require some really good writing to keep the readers interesting. Like the pervy MC of Chainsaw man; The creepy Jame Gumb aka Buffalo Bill or Norman Bates in Psycho; And the manipulating Lelouch in code guess, or the brilliant Yoshino Takigawa in Blast of Tempest. The point I'm trying to make, is that all these characters had something that kept the readers engaged and interested in them, be it their twisted world-view, sheer horror, mystery around their end-goal, or just some redeeming feature. So I guess try giving your MC some of that. Maybe other than lying to her just to get her because he "loves" her (which he said but never showed), you depict him having moments of genuine care for her. Or make him a mythomaniac who just can't help himself but lie, instead of just laying for the sake of it when he could tell the truth... Just food for thought. Anyway, good luck on your future endeavours and have a great day ❤️
OdilLv14

Kurdi123:Cringe
HatemeidontcareLv12

What's so cringe about it?

Kurdi123:Cringe
GodOfLightLv1

Cringe

Other Reviews
ExArgentumLv14

Solo Leveling: Perception is a webnovel that offers a fresh perspective on the world of Solo Leveling by focusing on Jinah, rather than her older sibling Jin-Woo. While the novel boasts well-written character interactions and good writing quality, it's held back by odd nerfs, slow plot development, and short chapters that leave you thinking, "That's it?" In the story, the protagonist gets to choose his world, and he picks Solo Leveling because he loves Jinah. He's granted three wishes with different restrictions, and wishes for Gojo Satoru's Six Eyes, Tatsuya Shiba's Regrowth, and Kurogane Ikki's Complete Material Martial Artist abilities. Set in Jinah's class in Seoul, the novel introduces the protagonist as a transfer student from Japan who wears a blindfold. Driven by his love for Jinah, his primary goal is to get along with her, rather than jumping into dungeons and fighting. One thing I like about this novel is the character interactions. The dialogue is smooth, and the characters stay true to their personalities, making their conversations enjoyable and genuine. The writing is pretty solid, with the author using third-person narration to show what the characters are thinking and feeling. However, there are issues. The nerfs to the protagonist's abilities are confusing and don't make sense. The focus on Jinah, while refreshing, may require more exploration of the protagonist's development. Additionally, the novel doesn't provide much world-building beyond the combat and situations, which could make it feel less immersive. Another concern is the pacing. The chapters are really short, often with just one main event, and the plot moves incredibly slowly. After 20 chapters, it feels like only a week has gone by in the story, which is frustrating. In conclusion, Solo Leveling: Perception is a webnovel that offers a new perspective on the world of Solo Leveling, enjoyable character interactions, and decent writing. However, the confusing nerfs, short chapters, and slow plot development prevent it from reaching its full potential. With more focus on the protagonist's development, improved pacing, and better world-building, this novel could become a much more enjoyable read.

TOFIELv3
Related Stories

Naruto: The Outsider's Resolve

[A Naruto Fan Fiction] Make the best of what you have, they said... But what I am supposed to do when the best I have are red-eyed freaks, a child who's supposed to be the jailor of the most dangerous being in the world, a snake bastard with serious boundary issues, and a whole world of super soldiers with licences to murder. And you know the best part? None of them like me so much... Oh shut it, old man! Take that Will of Fire and shove it up your— Yeah, this second swing at life isn't panning out... --------------------------------------------------------------- What to expect: - Gradual strength progression. Meaningful growth. The MC is a normal guy dumped into the Narutoverse, starts out weak and has to work and struggle for everything he gains. - "Slow" paced. My writing style is a zoomed-in look camera that follows the protagonist. It might seem slow, but I ensure something is always happening to progress the plot forward. - Gritty and often bloody fights and actions scenes with a focus on taijutsu—you'll see individual combat, team fights, and large-scale battle. - A different take on the Narutoverse. The world is full of superhuman mercenaries with liscenes-to-kill—that along with the protagonist's struggles paint the world in a much darker light. - Additions and expansion to the "chakra" power system. I consider myself a conservative when it comes to adapting the power system—and aim to retain the original feel while highlighting the best parts. - The Outsider's Resolve version of Narutoverse uses the [Naruto Manga] as the base—with additions from anime, books, and even Boruto (though very less likely). --------------------------------------------------------------- DISCORD SERVER: https://discord.gg/w5dJ82SfMr --------------------------------------------------------------- PATREON LINK: https://www.patreon.com/fictiononlyreader --------------------------------------------------------------- DECLARATION: This story is also present on: FFN, Ao3, SpaceBattles, SufficientVelocity, and ScribbleHub RoyalRoad [to be verified] --------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER: I don't own any character other than my OCs. The cover pic was commissioned from Kodah.art on Instagram

FictionOnlyReader · Anime & Comics
4.2
335 Chs

Endless Path : Infinite Cosmos

Vahn was an atypical youth. Due to a rare mutation, his blood had the potential to target and attack ailments within the human body. Touted as a universal cure, people had elevated his status above the norm and given him the classification "Panacea". In the media, he was hailed as a great hero who would usher in a new era or human wellness. However, behind the scenes things weren't so bright. Being a unique individual, Vahn spent his entire youth locked up in a lab with various scientists and research teams using his body and blood to perform endless amounts of experiments. The only solace in his suffering was the various anime and manga made available to him between experiments. He often imagined himself as the protagonist in a world of his own, finally in control of his own destiny. For years he nurtured this desire, until at the age of 14 he died when an organization had tried to kidnap him from the lab... "Finally, I don't have to suffer anymore..." This was Vahn's last thought as he faded into the endless black abyss... "You poor soul." Author's Note: If you would like to support the author and the team behind EPIC and future projects, feel free to check out libraryofakasha.com. There, you can find extra chapters and several other novels posted by myself and a few people from Discord. Cover by Sinlaire, Edited by Frozen: https://www.deviantart.com/sinlaire https://discord.gg/Jwa8PKh New Patreon~! https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14397149 This is a work of fiction that draws heavily upon the original source material of Danmachi. Please support the official release and know I claim no ownership or credit regarding the existence of pre-existing characters or content.

Einlion · Anime & Comics
4.8
2365 Chs