webnovel
Atom_Guy
Atom_GuyLv142yr
2022-05-20 02:41

I am hesitating to read further from chap 3, because from what is mentioned the whole story could just be game Or a dream. Still it's pretty good.

Liked by 15 people

LIKE
Replies11
Fallen_Crown
Fallen_CrownAuthor

I just didn't want to go the standard isseki route. So that's why I wrote it this way, it's not like Sword art Online.

Lycarus
LycarusLv2

Harém or no harem? I hate harem. Love interest

Fallen_Crown:I just didn't want to go the standard isseki route. So that's why I wrote it this way, it's not like Sword art Online.
Fallen_Crown
Fallen_CrownAuthor

for now no love interest 😗 so far. I don't like Haram as well.

Lycarus:Harém or no harem? I hate harem. Love interest
CruelReality
CruelRealityLv5

Wait so is he just in a game he will wake up from? If so idw to read this because the whole waking up cliché ending is my least favorite possible ending of all.

Fallen_Crown:I just didn't want to go the standard isseki route. So that's why I wrote it this way, it's not like Sword art Online.
Fallen_Crown
Fallen_CrownAuthor

it won't end like that bruh...

CruelReality:Wait so is he just in a game he will wake up from? If so idw to read this because the whole waking up cliché ending is my least favorite possible ending of all.
Tigre_Negro008
Tigre_Negro008Lv2

I just have one question: Will he treat the world like a game or accept that he's in a new reality? I found it interesting but I lost motivation when the Protagonist seems to have an attitude that the world is a game, this totally breaks the immersion for me

Fallen_Crown:it won't end like that bruh...
Fallen_Crown
Fallen_CrownAuthor

He isn't treating it as a game anymore. Still there are some doubts in him which will be cleared in a couple of chapters.

Tigre_Negro008:I just have one question: Will he treat the world like a game or accept that he's in a new reality? I found it interesting but I lost motivation when the Protagonist seems to have an attitude that the world is a game, this totally breaks the immersion for me
CruelReality
CruelRealityLv5

Okay then I’ll give it a try.

Fallen_Crown:it won't end like that bruh...
TheAngels
TheAngelsLv2

Just a question, is there a love interest?, or just the typical "I don't care about anything but being strong and surviving" mc?

Fallen_Crown:for now no love interest 😗 so far. I don't like Haram as well.
Fallen_Crown
Fallen_CrownAuthor

he will have a love interest.

TheAngels:Just a question, is there a love interest?, or just the typical "I don't care about anything but being strong and surviving" mc?
RatedOverr
RatedOverrLv2

I got a pea sized brain so can you clear something up for me: is he in a game but it won't end with him leaving it or is he in an actual world which he originally thought was a game due to how actual isekai happened.

Fallen_Crown:He isn't treating it as a game anymore. Still there are some doubts in him which will be cleared in a couple of chapters.
Other Reviews
Anas_Nazim
Anas_NazimLv4

So yeah, I have been reading your story from basically the start. And I like what you did with it. The first few chapters (around 20 to 25) weren’t the best. It was good, as you explained about the world building, the different political factions that the MC needs to look out for, the introduction of other characters (That are not cardboard cut outs, and have their own lives and problems.), explaining why he thinks he could start training later (cause of still feeling that Naruto world works like the real world, of course, we won’t see five-year-old training themselves in the gym.) The later chapters, even the recent ones are just gold. Obito changes quite a lot after the Hospital Incident… he doesn’t want to help people at first… as he wants to survive, but then he looks at all the things that they did for him. And gets grips with the situation and goes for it. Sure he had help for the goat Kagami. I like the character development. How he sees his own flaws in thinking. I really like how you made a believable character. One who does mistakes and learns from them. It was great. And then later on, (after awakening his Sharingan) how people mainly the village and Uchiha clan start treating him differently. How clans that aren’t Uchiha are also expanded on. And I also like what you are doing with the Rokushiki techniques. Not just learning it by yourself, as you are making Might Duy and Guy rework the technique. (Of course, One Piece techniques shouldn't work perfectly right off the bat in the Naruto world, things should be different. And a good fighter can rework it. And I like the concept) All in all a great story. The grammar needs a bit of work. But I can see you fixing things here and there. As a writer myself, I kinda know how it’s hard to fix grammar issues when you are not a native speaker. Anyway, I will like the story to be a non-harm. But you can add two or even three wifus, I don’t think that counts as being in the haram category. But meh… your choice.

Related Stories