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AzureWolfLv55yr
2019-05-05 18:51

This story has interesting concepts but, the grammar is really atrocious. There are other stories on this site that are even worse then this, however, I'm not going to be nice because of this. I understand that some people keep saying in the comments that the writing quality gets better at ch 18 or around ch 32. In the end I could not drag my self across the floor to reach such chapters. One of the main points I don't understand about the author is why if he has an editor already, just ask him to redo all your previous chapters. The author is dragging away potential readers due to not editing his starting chapters. Point 2. I feel like I'm reading a children's book due to all the sound effects. These sound effects take away from a story unless a child is reading them because most children don't know what most stuff sound like. That is why most children's books have the cow goes "moo" or the sheep goes "baa". It gives kids a 3 in 1 training. Training their vocals, reading comprehension and their understanding of what stuff sounds like. Point 2b. As an ***** with the understanding of the English language and sounds. I feel offended when I see a written sound effect. I know what a sword sound makes when it hits something with different densities. It just irks me because its like the author is saying "This is what it sound like to me and you should believe me." No... I don't believe sirens go "siren...siren" or swords go "slice" like their talking. Even the sound effects are off putting. Point 3: The cultivation is strange. I understand that being Original in concept is what authors should do. However, the cultivation with the steam punk vib (engine) and cultivation just don't mix well. I like the part about the soul-bonding, but, it could have been better executed. Point 4: The animals are puppets as far as I can tell. The start of the novel it shows the personality of the creatures and that was a good start, however, right as the soul binding was completed It was like the creatures them selves don't have their own thoughts anymore. It is more along the line as the people turn them into puppets then project their emotions into their soul-bonded puppet to be more like the host. Point 5: The MC does not have a solid goal. Yes, he wants to be in that championship thing but that does not make him insane about doing the most efficient cultivation training which most people fail at. The reason I do not believe this is due to the fact he lived a very normal life with his family. No sane person would tarnish such a thing. If the story showed he had a desire to be recognized due to certain bad pasts then I would believe it more. There are other points I could point out. But I don't know if the author can even read English so adding anymore would just be a waste of time for me and the reader of this wall of text.

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Replies46
AzureWolfLv5

HAHAHA I can't even say A.D.U.L.T on this site? Jeez this company are such cry babies.

HopeBones5Lv15

Probably a translation thing, thanks for your review Ill try to see if i can get through the early chapters!, wish me luck!

Grendel_kunLv15

I've read about 90 chapters, and the grammar is less awful. Half as many mistakes is still a lot.

ArtistaFeelLv4

Want something with readable grammar? Try this! "Lyricist: Her Revenge" I'm sure you'll love it.

PotatoesAreAwesomeLv4

Isn't this related to pokémon? Idk if you guys noticed but almost all pokémon in the series has something with related to the trainer. (Mostly the fav poké of the trainer) Well with your description it sounds like pokémon

hitmanrebornX10Lv15

And it was on that day you would awake your inner Gordon Ramsay and I say this because as I was reading your review it was just like Gordon Ramsay himself for speaking these words

Divyansh181199Lv13

Wait, so it doesn't gets better at chapter 18 and chapter 34 like the comments said.

Grendel_kun:I've read about 90 chapters, and the grammar is less awful. Half as many mistakes is still a lot.
Divyansh181199Lv13

Wait, so it doesn't gets better at chapter 18 and chapter 34 like the comments said.

Grendel_kun:I've read about 90 chapters, and the grammar is less awful. Half as many mistakes is still a lot.
Grendel_kunLv15

The grammar gets better. But it's still really bad.

Divyansh181199:Wait, so it doesn't gets better at chapter 18 and chapter 34 like the comments said.
frealzillaLv14

It's better in the same way that being decapitated is better than being minced to death from the feet up. I'd still rather not be dead.

AirwalkerLv15

Xp

frealzilla:It's better in the same way that being decapitated is better than being minced to death from the feet up. I'd still rather not be dead.
travellerLv4

I really like your review friend can you read my novel called Traveller and give me a review outlining the corrections that I can do. Will really appreciate it man.

Suicidal_landfishLv4

Oh my god..... that sounds like a very large improvement, that is the difference between torture and a painless death, and a painless death can be considered mercy.... so in turn a painless death is a good death, it can also be a sweet release (of death)

frealzilla:It's better in the same way that being decapitated is better than being minced to death from the feet up. I'd still rather not be dead.
Jack_BaluLv3

I found a book its named Story of legends i recommend it book was amazing you should check it out

AzureWolfLv5

I have read it. The story is interesting, but, it does not have many chapters to really get a feel for it. The problem I found with it is that the writing style needs work and emotion. In my opinion the story does not flow fluidly with the current style.

Jack_Balu:I found a book its named Story of legends i recommend it book was amazing you should check it out
Jack_BaluLv3

Thankyou so much

AzureWolf:I have read it. The story is interesting, but, it does not have many chapters to really get a feel for it. The problem I found with it is that the writing style needs work and emotion. In my opinion the story does not flow fluidly with the current style.
ReadAholicLv3

Read the chronicles of the shura clan or tales of herding gods. Both are really good.

KamaldkmLv6

Xp

AzureWolf:HAHAHA I can't even say A.D.U.L.T on this site? Jeez this company are such cry babies.
Imagine_KaylaLv10

Just came to say I'm glad I'm not the only one who cringes everytime I read sound effects in prose. Like the occasional onomatopoeia for impact doesn't bother me but writers shouldn't rely on them... it's the "show, don't tell" rule... "Slice!" went his sword. Vs His sword whistled through the air as he swung with all his might. Or whatever you get the point. Good review thank you for saving me from wasting my time, though the concept does sound interesting. Maybe I'll read it when I have nothing else to do to see for myself.

bluehammer1997Lv14

honestly i prefer any cultivation system compared to trash unoriginal system novels

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