Benny_Manatee
Author supporting his work, as you do. This is an updated version, I'm deleting the previous one. I promise a quite action filled series, with a lot of schemes, some politics, and a healthy dose of revenge, to top it off. I like my plot-twists, so expect them (or actually don't, that'd spoil them ;) ) I managed to win Silver Prize for WPC #194 (I actually started writing this for that). This will be updated daily, entirely based on YOUR support ;) Finally Volume 1 - The Rise of Temptation, has finally been completed, and with that, Volume 2 is starting! Thanky you so much for your support up until now, and I'm hoping that you'll continue doing so from now on as well! :D Have fun reading, B. Manatee
somehow i dont feel the anti hero vibes on mc. i feel the villain vibes more on the heroes. it feels contradictory tbh. it was nice though but it was a let down that such old man died and mc has no reaction. technically the old man was the first person that made the mc feel warm at least he has been kind. i was expecting more when it says anti hero tag but so be it. 3.4 for now. reason? the writing is average but still better than any novel (4) story development (i really cant feel thr villain vibes although mc is smart) (3) character design (technically, each of their character development is good but not better because mc was quite naive. he easily trust too much despite being bullied all his life (trust me, I'm a victim of bullying and i know pretty much their mindset. they wont trust too much) updating stability is better, good job! (4) as for world background, you did not state what their world was in. why is their heroes and villain and how such powers came to be so it lacks info. btw some of your plots are forced upon mc so it adds up to the rating.
The kind of MC who always got bullied whenever he went, even his parents as well, barely had any friend in school, and always thought himself as a useless being for being born with such a lowly power... compared to others who shot flame, blizzard, thunder and poison from their hands... his Charm wouldn't do much but to max the charisma point in the S.P.E.C.I.A.L points. Or is that so? Anyway, did you noticed that I use mostly past tense for the paragraph above? Well, I wouldn't like to spoil you more, because the satisfaction when the MC finally able to [REDACTED] those bullies... well, you wouldn't be that satisfied knowing [REDACTED]. Definitely worth to read and watch the MC do tons of [REDACTED] with his true power. Then, about the writing... it's clear and vivid, less ambiguous, telling the surrounding and what the character think and do, especially with the first person perspective, making it more easy to follow and understand of what happened. Then there's the dialogue. The dialogue is clearly the strongest point of this stort. Every dialogue sound different to each character---that sense from the annoying brads, the archetype of scaredy-cat persons, etc---giving them rich timbre (or tone color in musical term for rich-sounding music or dialogues in this case). The plot, I have nothing to say anymore as you must read it for yourself to get that sense of "take that, b****!"-ish. About pacing, well I think it's a bit rushing (at least in my standard) in the beginning of chapter when the MC had yet to found his true nature. Hoping to see his past being told as a miserable human, just to see him "return the favour" later on. Well no matter, the story development itself already alright, and I truly enjoy reading it. About grammar, no comment on that, since I'm not native speaker, and you seemed did a better job than me. With that being said, I guess that's all... Lastly but not least, I'd like to thank to the Author who keeps updating and writing this good story for us. Thank you... ^^ Keep on writing~
If you keep reading, the story will continue to be interesting that cannot be understood in one or two chapters, the ahead you read, the more interesting the story will be. In many places, I found unnecessary capitalization, along with many spelling mistakes that I pointed out. But your dialogue is good. Even in many places, you have chosen the word very well. I had fun reading, keep it up.
I have read several chapters of it so far and I liked it as not to lie, the first chapter was very boring for me, but after reaching the second chapter, I found that the events became better and more interesting As for the character of the hero, I feel that his acceptance of the idea that he was a murderer was rather quick but still acceptable.. In short, the novel is nice and you may enjoy it when you have free time (note: i fell in love with the old man)
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact leorichard2021*@*outlook.com (please ignore both * when sending email). A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.