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Jack Hanma: True might [reworked]

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Synopsis

Jack Hanma is one of if not the most disrespected character of the baki series despite him being one of the strongest in it. but what if that changed what if him being an unpure hanma had a different meaning then what you would expect. Note: this my first time writing and English isn't my native language so the first two chapters are a bit rough but it gets better from chapter 3 and onwards. The cover image isn't mine. note: under the recent changes I decided That I well be posting this story on RoyalRoad.com and Fanfiction.net under the same name for both the story and the account.

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Chapter 1A woman, a warrior, a mother.

Inside of a hospital room a blonde woman laid on the bed with her back against soft pillows as she held a baby in her arms.

Nothing unusual considering the usual procedure that followed a healthy delivery with the exception of a distinct lack of family and friends alongside the usually festive atmosphere that would accompany such an accession.

Instead the room only had the mother and child in it with a notably sombre atmosphere around the mother.

Glancing around she snorted at the clean out empty room.

'I'm surprised they even had it in them to let me give birth in a hospital'.

Diana looked at the door half expecting someone to come in here and drag her back to her previous cell, only to be met with silence as she just kept inspecting the room.

But she couldn't really keep that up for long. She had already been doing exactly that for the past 30 minutes. There was only so much to analyse and observe in such a room even with an expert's eye like hers.

She knew that she would have to acknowledge her situation, one way or another she will have to face the fact that she failed again, that once again she didn't have it in here to do what needed to be done, but not out of lack of skill this time around but lack of will, which made it sting that much worse.

Letting out a breath she turned to look at the bundle in her arms and the face on the newly born child innocently sleeping as her eyes softed despite herself.

'Why did it have to be this way?'

3 months after her failure after she was stripped of all her pride as a soldier as a warrior, she had to face the reality that even at her darkest hour it could still get worse, and get worse it did the moment she found out she was pregnant.

Pregnant with the child of that monster in human skin, a man that broke all logic with his mere existence Yujiro hanma.

The same man that took it away from her, at first she thought that this was her chance to get revenge.

To take something away from the man that took it all from her, even if he didn't know that she had that child and even if he didn't care the simple chance that he could find out that she killed his own would be enough to at least hurt his pride if nothing else.

It was petty and cowardly, but it was the only card she had to play against something that might as well be a force of nature.

And that is what she resolved herself to do for the next 4 months after.

But as time went on she discovered just how strong her maternal instincts were, as the mere thought of killing her own child alone sent shivers down her spine.

It made her wonder how some people could abandon their children or maybe her maternal instincts were just stronger than normal, after all her lifestyle didn't exactly fit the norm with death at every corner.

So she made a compromise: she will use this child, she will forge him into a weapon to use against that monster, after all he was his, so he had to at least inherit part of what made that man what he is, maybe not enough to kill him but just enough so that he could weaken him, then she could finish him off herself.

But looking back at it now she can't help but chuckle at how much of an idiot she was.

If her resolve was weakened from killing him to training him what made her think she would actually be able to hold onto that thought.

Because looking at the little baby in her arms now, forgot about forging him into a living weapon she can't even think about hurting a single hair on his head.

And that thought alone that realisation broke her, tears rolled down her cheeks as she silently cried.

'I'm stuck aren't I?...

No matter how I look at you I can't see the monster that made you I can't see you as a weapon.

I can't blame you for what happened…

Because it was all on me I'm the one that failed, so why should you carry my burden…'

A soft click brought her out of her thoughts as she looked up to see a nurse walk in with a clipboard in her hands.

"Umm… are you okay?" The nurse paused as she looked at the woman on the bed who was wiping away her tears.

"Yeah everything is fine" Diane replied keeping her eyes on the little baby in her arms.

The nurse nodded choosing not to comment, as felt sorry for the woman for what little she knew she was in prison for some kind of war crime, she wasn't clear on the specifics but from her own experience soldiers are a prideful and stubborn bunch, it often best to let them keep it and push them to open up.

Best to keep that to the professionals to help them in recovering mentally, as doubtful as she is that her patient will be getting any.

"Well I have some good news related to the baby…." She paused letting Diane focus back on her before continuing.

"He is as healthy as could be a bit on the big side but nothing that's worth worrying about"

Diane had a small smile tug at her lips as she glanced down at the baby while muttering under her breath "yeah I felt that much".

"All of that being said he is a bit special…."

Diane's head snapped towards her with a frown as the nurse winced thinking she should have worded that a bit better.

"No no don't worry it's not that kind of special he is intellectually normal it just that his body is a bit more sturdy than normal"

"How?"

"Well…" the nurse took a look at the clipboard in her hand as she flipped through it a bit before replying.

"In layman's terms he has increased muscle density, bone density and stronger ligaments alongside a few other things from what we were able to test for, It's almost like.."

"Like he was built for war…."

Silence took hold of the room again as Diane fell back into thought only to be interrupted by the sound of the door opening again.

A man wearing a black suit entered taking a couple of steps before standing at the foot of the bed as the two women looked at him.

"Adam".

"Diane…" he looked at her, taking a quick glance at the baby in her arms before continuing.

"It's good to see again.."

"Likewise."

"..." Seeing that she won't be saying anything else to him he let out a sight before turning to the nurse.

"Could you give us a minute".

She nodded before walking out and closing the door behind her with a soft click before Silence returned.

Adam and Diane just looked at each other for a minute before he spoke.

"Look Diane I know…"

"Cut to the chase Adam."

"Well I will give the good news first. You won't be going back to prison."

Diane didn't show much reaction to his words, keeping her face blank only briefly adjusting her hands to hold the baby in her hands better as he slightly squirmed.

"And what's the catch?"

"Well that's the bad news. I managed to negotiate some terms alongside pulling a few strings to keep you out on parole.

Just on the premise that you will take care of the kid."

Adam paused as he held his breath expecting some kind of outburst for his headstrong ex partner.

"That's fine."

'What!?'

He barely managed to hold himself from saying it out loud as his eyes widened briefly before he schooled his expression.

'Why did she agree so easily?'

He stayed silent as looked at her while searching for what could have possibly changed.

They worked together for a long time and he knew just how prideful she can be, never letting a single mistake pass, even stranger yet he visited her in prison when she first found out she was pregnant.

The look in her eyes told him all he needed to know about how she felt about that kid.

'Wait could it be?'

"Diane there will be constant checks on both you and the baby to make sure nothing is wrong and if there is even a single hair out of place they will take him away and they will send you right back, you do realise that, right?"

"Yeah Adam I know, they probably don't want any chance of what happened coming out."

"Diane it's not his fau.."

"I know."

Adam focused on her trying to see any signs of her acting.

It wasn't that he wanted her behind bars, but it was simply a fact that between her and the kid she was the one who can handle more.

He knew the child care wasn't perfect but chances are he will get a good home right away considering his age, that is a much better chance than just leaving him in a single parent abusive home.

But he had to give her a chance he owned his friend at least that much, and he will check on the kid himself.

'I hope I don't regret this'

Seeing that he has been quiet for a good minute he decided to open a new topic before leaving, maybe he will see something that will assure him.

"So.. did you name him?"

"Jack.. Jack Neil"

Adam nodded as still trying to see if there was anything wrong before he decided to let it go for now.

"Alright I will leave you to rest for now the nurse will be back to check on you in a bit"

Diane nodded watching him turn around and leave only looking away at the soft click of the door.

She noticed that he didn't fully close it, just made it so that it would make that familiar click before pushing it back to leave it slightly open enough so that it wouldn't muffle any sound from coming out of the room.

She smiled slightly 'he always had a soft spot for kids'.

Before she looked at the little Jack in her arms slightly moving them as she felt them tingle slightly, his weight reminding her of what the nurse said and her previous train of thought.

'You took more from him than I thought you did.'

She admired him for a bit only to see him slightly open his eyes to show her a slightly cloudy look showing that despite his build he was still just a barely conscious baby not much different from a normal one in that regard.

'but that's all you are going to take from him..

I won't let you turn out like him I won't let you become a monster'

She uttered that promise to herself as a spark appeared in her eyes, a shadow of her former resolve as a soldier, the tiny thing that kept her together all that time, now redirected towards a new goal not as a soldier or a warrior.

But as a mother.

================

That's the first chapter out of the way.

still a long way to go but it's a start, I would like to hear what you guys think along the way, so do leave any ideas you have in the comments.

and as a final note I updated the story description so you guys can read that to get a better idea of what I have planned.

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Writing quality 5 star Story development 4 star Character design 3 star Updating stability 4 star World background 3 stars. Overall 3.8 1) Let's talk about the writing quality, I haven't seen any major mistakes till now. The writing style is good, I don't need the Chinese reference anymore, They are hard to understand. Ohh and You Didn't write like that so it is a 3-star from me already. No mistakes with "HE" OR "SHE" so an extra Star and the last one because I liked it. (4-stars) 2) The Story development is good, nothing to say more as the original Baki series has a good plot but overpowered characters without magic. I am thinking what will happen if you introduce Magic to them?. The pacing is good, some slice of life will be good, to see how he manages his girlfriend as he is so tall already. (4 stars) Because of some small things, if you go like this, it will be finished before 140 chapters. 3) The character design is good but you have never gone into the details of how he was born or how he came to be. I know that jack's Mom's story is tragic but it will also give depth to his character. You are not using the system to its full potential. Don't get me wrong but you should increase the power level a little in this story, I will talk more about it in the World background. So even if you don't want to make him too powerful, you can just modify his body in a way like the skin "Hardening" it won't need too much XP or soul. I will give 4-star to it I am sad that the system is not used Properly. 4) The updating stability is cool, you post daily if you don't have some work or something. (4-Stars). 5)World background! Why are you only in Japan? It's a whole world man, and Baki's world is super interesting you should make Jack explore a little about it. This world has so much potential, Introduce some special abilities or mutation to say. Increase the strong characters, increase the mystery, and increase the chaos. That way the MC will feel threatened and he will have to use his potential to its full extent. Introduce a mass meteor strike with small but a lot of meteors falling all over earth giving the humans and animals some special abilities/mutations and it is totally possible. Until now a human that came from the Jurassic era and a clone of Myamoto mysashi with is real soul in it has been shown, a hag who practices dark arts. I don't know if there is more but I have not finished it yet. I have given it 3stars and honestly I want to give it 2-stars so that you can do something about it. Their is so much that can be done. I wrote too much for the first time. It's 2645 words long..

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