best irish jokes stories

Here's an Irish joke. Paddy goes to the doctor and says, 'Doctor, I keep getting this pain in me eye when I drink tea.' The doctor says, 'Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.' Another story could be about an Irish leprechaun who was always up to mischief in the village. He would move things around and make the villagers think they were going crazy. One day, a young lad caught him in the act and they became friends, and the leprechaun started using his magic for good, like making the crops grow better.

A priest in Ireland was driving down a country road when a policeman stopped him. The priest asked, 'Is there a problem, officer?' The policeman replied, 'You were speeding, Father.' The priest said, 'Oh, forgive me, I was daydreaming about my sermon.' The policeman said, 'Well, I'll let you off with a warning, but next time, slow down.' The priest drove off slowly. A few miles down the road, the policeman saw the priest's car pulled over. He walked up and asked, 'Is there a problem, Father?' The priest said, 'I'm not sure, I just stopped to give this rosary a speeding ticket.' This is a funny play on the priest's piety and the situation of getting a speeding ticket.

Joke: An Irishman is walking along the beach when he finds a magic lamp. He rubs it and a genie pops out. The genie says he'll grant the Irishman one wish. The Irishman says, 'I'm a bit lonely, can you make everyone in Ireland like me?' The genie snaps his fingers and says, 'Done!' The Irishman looks around and says, 'Who the hell are you?' Story: In a small Irish village, there was a pub where all the locals would gather. One night, a stranger came in and started boasting about how he could out - drink anyone in the village. An old Irishman took up the challenge. After many pints, the stranger passed out and the old Irishman just laughed and said, 'You should know not to challenge an Irishman in his own pub!'

Here's one. An Irishman walks out of a bar. Yes, that's the whole joke. It plays on the expectation that there should be more to the story but the simplicity of it is the humor.

Here's one. A golfer sliced his ball into a field of cows. As he was looking for it, he noticed one of the cows chewing something. He walked up to it and said, 'Hey, that's my ball you've got there!' The cow just looked at him and mooed. Golf can have some really funny and unexpected moments like this.

There's a story about a librarian. A man came in and asked for a book on how to commit the perfect crime. The librarian said, 'Sorry, we don't have that in the non - fiction section.' This is a short but witty joke with a bit of a story setup.

Well, it's a bit of a generalization. While there are many brilliant Irish short - story writers, there are also great short - story writers from all over the world. However, the Irish do have a long and rich literary history when it comes to short stories. Their use of language, often lyrical and vivid, gives their short stories a unique charm. For example, the way they can capture the essence of Irish life, both past and present, in a relatively short space is remarkable. So, one could say they are among the best.

Here's a joke. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store. Well, it's a play on words. 'Turned into' can mean physically transform or just enter. It's a simple and silly joke that can bring a quick laugh.

A good joke is: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. As for a story, there was a man who was always late for work. One day, he told his boss that he had a dream the night before where he was early for work and there was no traffic. His boss said, 'Well, why don't you try coming to work like that tomorrow?'

One of the best is 'The Táin'. It's an epic about a great cattle raid. It has lots of heroic characters and exciting battles.