irish jokes clean

Here's an Irish joke. Paddy goes to the doctor and says, 'Doctor, I keep getting this pain in me eye when I drink tea.' The doctor says, 'Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.' Another story could be about an Irish leprechaun who was always up to mischief in the village. He would move things around and make the villagers think they were going crazy. One day, a young lad caught him in the act and they became friends, and the leprechaun started using his magic for good, like making the crops grow better.

A priest in Ireland was driving down a country road when a policeman stopped him. The priest asked, 'Is there a problem, officer?' The policeman replied, 'You were speeding, Father.' The priest said, 'Oh, forgive me, I was daydreaming about my sermon.' The policeman said, 'Well, I'll let you off with a warning, but next time, slow down.' The priest drove off slowly. A few miles down the road, the policeman saw the priest's car pulled over. He walked up and asked, 'Is there a problem, Father?' The priest said, 'I'm not sure, I just stopped to give this rosary a speeding ticket.' This is a funny play on the priest's piety and the situation of getting a speeding ticket.

Sure. Here's a clean joke: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. As for a funny story, once there was a little boy who thought his nose was too big. So he decided to pull it every day to make it smaller. After a week, his nose was still big but his arms were really long.

You can find them in some children's joke books. They are full of clean and family - friendly jokes and stories.

One day, a tomato was walking down the street. He got into a fight with a grape. The police came and arrested the grape. Do you know why? Because he was a little raisin (a reason).

Joke: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite! Story: There was an old man who lived alone. On Christmas Eve, he heard a knock on the door. When he opened it, there was a small, shivering kitten. He took it in, gave it some warm milk and a cozy place to sleep. That Christmas, he found a new friend in the little kitten.

A story for you. There was a little boy who was very nervous about his first day at school. His mother told him to be brave and that he would make lots of friends. When he got to school, he saw a little girl crying. He went up to her and said, 'Don't cry. I'm new here too. Let's be friends.' And they became good friends. It's a simple but sweet clean story.

Joke: What do elves learn in school? The Elf -abet! Story: A poor family couldn't afford many Christmas presents. So they made little hand - made cards for each other. But on Christmas morning, they found someone had left a box of toys on their doorstep. It was a kind neighbor who wanted to make their Christmas special.

Joke: What key has legs and can't open doors? A turkey! Story: In a barnyard, all the animals were having a party. The turkey was the DJ. He started dancing and making funny gobbling sounds instead of playing music. All the animals joined in and it turned into a hilarious dance party.

Sure. Here's a joke: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. A clean story could be: There was a little rabbit who was always very curious. One day it saw a beautiful rainbow and decided to follow it. Along the way, it met friendly animals who told it stories of the forest. And at the end of the rainbow, it found a meadow full of delicious carrots. It was a magical adventure for the little rabbit.