There's a story about a librarian. A man came in and asked for a book on how to commit the perfect crime. The librarian said, 'Sorry, we don't have that in the non - fiction section.' This is a short but witty joke with a bit of a story setup.
Here's a joke. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store. Well, it's a play on words. 'Turned into' can mean physically transform or just enter. It's a simple and silly joke that can bring a quick laugh.
A good joke is: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. As for a story, there was a man who was always late for work. One day, he told his boss that he had a dream the night before where he was early for work and there was no traffic. His boss said, 'Well, why don't you try coming to work like that tomorrow?'
Here's one. A golfer sliced his ball into a field of cows. As he was looking for it, he noticed one of the cows chewing something. He walked up to it and said, 'Hey, that's my ball you've got there!' The cow just looked at him and mooed. Golf can have some really funny and unexpected moments like this.
There's a classic golf joke. A man is teaching his wife to play golf. She takes a swing and the ball goes way off to the left. He says, 'That's okay, dear, you're just opening up your stance a bit too much.' She takes another swing and the ball goes way off to the right. He says, 'Now you're closing your stance too much.' On her third swing, the ball goes straight into a nearby pond. She turns to him and says, 'Well, at least I'm consistent!' This joke shows the different experiences between beginners and more experienced golfers, and how we can find humor in the learning process.
One day, a tomato was walking down the street. He got into a fight with a grape. The police came and arrested the grape. Do you know why? Because he was a little raisin (a reason).
Sharing dirty jokes is inappropriate and not suitable for public discussion. We should focus on positive, clean and family - friendly topics.
A priest in Ireland was driving down a country road when a policeman stopped him. The priest asked, 'Is there a problem, officer?' The policeman replied, 'You were speeding, Father.' The priest said, 'Oh, forgive me, I was daydreaming about my sermon.' The policeman said, 'Well, I'll let you off with a warning, but next time, slow down.' The priest drove off slowly. A few miles down the road, the policeman saw the priest's car pulled over. He walked up and asked, 'Is there a problem, Father?' The priest said, 'I'm not sure, I just stopped to give this rosary a speeding ticket.' This is a funny play on the priest's piety and the situation of getting a speeding ticket.
Here's one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store. Another one: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
One great joke is: What's brown and sticky? A stick. Simple but funny.
Here's an Irish joke. Paddy goes to the doctor and says, 'Doctor, I keep getting this pain in me eye when I drink tea.' The doctor says, 'Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.' Another story could be about an Irish leprechaun who was always up to mischief in the village. He would move things around and make the villagers think they were going crazy. One day, a young lad caught him in the act and they became friends, and the leprechaun started using his magic for good, like making the crops grow better.