funny grocery line stories

Once I was in the grocery line and the person in front of me had a cart full of nothing but different kinds of cat food. And their cat was actually sitting on top of the cart looking all proud. It was really funny.

Sure. There was this man in the grocery line who was on his phone. He was so into his conversation that when it was his turn, he just started putting his items on the conveyor belt while still talking and not really looking. He almost put his phone there instead of his wallet at the end. It was hilarious.

Once, I saw a man trying to fit an enormous watermelon into his tiny shopping basket. He pushed and shoved, but it just wouldn't fit. In the end, he had to carry it under his arm while trying to push his cart with the other hand. It was really hilarious.

One: I told my dog he was adopted. He looked at me, sniffed, and went back to sleep. He doesn't care. Another: I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you!'

Story 1: A cat saw a mirror. It thought it was another cat. So it hissed for an hour. Story 2: I told my plant a joke. It didn't laugh. Maybe it needs better ears. Story 3: I bought shoes online. They looked great. But they were for the wrong foot.

A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

Well, this one is good. A guy goes to the doctor. Doctor: 'What seems to be the problem?' Guy: 'I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.' Doctor: 'Didn't the new glasses help?' Guy: 'Sure, now I see the spots more clearly.' Another one: I got carded at the liquor store. I showed my library card. They were not amused.

Well, once there was a grocery bagger who was known for his really quick hands at packing groceries. One day, a customer from a different ethnic group came in. The bagger accidentally knocked over a can of beans while bagging for this customer. He quickly said, 'Oh, it's not because you're [ethnicity], it's just my clumsy hands today!' and then he and the customer both had a good laugh about it, breaking the ice and showing that it was just a silly accident, not any form of racism.

Well, I have one. I was in the grocery store and there was an old man following a parrot around. Apparently, the parrot had escaped from its owner who was also in the store. The old man was shouting at the parrot to stop, and the parrot was squawking back. It was like a crazy chase scene in the middle of the grocery aisles.

A: I'm reading a book on anti - gravity. It's impossible to put down. B: I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Then I realized they just wanted me to clean the floors.