best your mom jokes

[The pampering story has ended] For a hundred million, he bought her. "From today onward, you're mine, in body and soul." The man held her, declaring dominantly like an emperor. ... ... Lucas Walker: Xiaoye, you are the rib that God took out of me. Xiaoye: I spit, it is you who is the rib, your whole family is the rib. Baby A: Mommy, is a rib the same as a spare rib? Baby B: I like sweet and sour flavor.

Feng Ruqing was a spoiled princess with a hideous countenance in Liu Yun Kingdom. She used to ride roughshod over anyone who stood in her way, backed by her father the emperor who loved her with all his heart. Not only did she force the chancellor's son to marry her by breaking the existing loving couple up, but her mother-in-law had also passed out from rage because of her. In the end, she took her own life after the heartbreak and humiliation of being dumped. When she opened her eyes again, she was no longer the bratty princess who was a good-for-nothing. * * * Rumor has it that spirit beasts have become servants in princess’ manor and the princess is devouring precious spirit herb dishes every day. Rumor has it that the chancellor’s son who pleaded for reconciliation after divorcing the princess was thrown out of the princess’s manor. Rumor has it that some good-looking young masters went to the princess’s manor in hope of being her servants were nearly killed by the state preceptor. Rumor has it that the charming state preceptor was looking for the princess eagerly as he wanted to hold her responsible for sleeping with him.

[The End of the Main Body] She's a distressed heiress with nowhere to go; he's a high-up business tycoon. In the dark, he coldly says, "You're nothing but a tool to me." Yet, her figure haunts his dreams night after night. Five years later, a cute child falls from heaven. Abducted by a mischievous child, she wakes up to find her small bun turned into an enlarged version of the domineering CEO. A certain man shamelessly says, "An Ziqi, you must take responsibility for me." A certain woman calmly replies, "Sorry, but your warranty has expired. I bear no responsibility." Small bun says, "Dad, I've successfully captured mom. Free shipping!" No abuse in this doting story, the male and female leads are pure in mind and body!

He is the most powerful man in the Imperial City, the master of the empire's rise and fall. Displease him, and your fate can be summarized in two words - Destruction! But this arrogant woman does not regard him in the slightest! Two years after marriage, she was all about clinging to him, and he was all about divorcing her; she tried innumerable times yet failed, but he successfully divorced. Who would have guessed that on the first night following their divorce, she carefully strategizes and finally succeeds? Ming Mei: "What crime have I committed?" Kang Chen sat high on the judgment seat, "Theft!" Ming Mei: "What have I stolen from you?" "Heir!"

New Release "Lord Lu, The Lady Became a Sensation Through Live-Streaming and Dominated the Entertainment Industry" - Please bookmark~~ Ever since the day she met Chi Jingxuan, Qin Yuji's life could be summed up in two words: wilful. "Boss, the lady made Madam Qin so angry that she was sent to the hospital." "Go and see if she's dead yet..." "Boss, did the lady cut Ms. Qin's scenes in the new movie?" "Cut? Just delete them all... Wait, considering she's the lady's sister, leave a silhouette." A sheep turned into a fox, all thanks to his pampering. Qin Yuji, who had always wanted to flee, found herself trapped in a web of love with no escape... PS: Dear UU readers, group number: 514178533, looking forward to flirting with you~

She inadvertently became the focus of a high-powered magnate from the Gu Corporation, earning the title of his exclusive darling. When word reached him that someone had invited his beloved to watch a movie, his immediate command was to purchase every cinema in the city and close them for "urgent maintenance"—effectively ensuring no one else could court his lady in such a manner. Upon hearing that a love letter had been sent to his young mistress, he demanded, "Bring it to me at once!" Struggling with the idea of writing a love letter himself, he was eager to find inspiration, ready to emulate any expression that captured the essence of his feelings. Her tranquil life was abruptly disrupted by his domineering ways, stirring up waves of drama. In his eyes, which regarded everything else as insignificant, only she had a place. He was resolved to devote himself to her completely. When a stubborn young lady meets a persistent big-shot determined to repay a perceived debt of gratitude, where will her heart ultimately lead her?

"If someone has to become the strongest, why can't it be me?" An unfortunate young man, brought to another world by a meteor, voices his unwillingness with a defiant roar. I just want to create a fantastical world that doesn't seem too unreal. Pre-reading Reminder 1: If you think human nature can simply be divided into good or bad, proceed with caution. Pre-reading Reminder 2: If you believe a sect is just a crowd of people flattering the protagonist, proceed with caution. Pre-reading Reminder 3: If you think the whole world is a stage for the protagonist to show off, and all people are merely stepping stones for the protagonist, proceed with caution.

She provoked the most powerful and overbearing man in the city, and only the next day did she realize he was her immediate boss. She thought he was just a passerby in her life, but to her surprise, he became addicted to toying with her and had the audacity to show up at her door. "Wife, you have to take responsibility for me! I have your child!!" "Gong Beiming, can you have some shame?" The CEO actually pulled a little pink dumpling from behind his back and announced quite seriously, "This is indeed your own flesh and blood, you can't deny it!" "Mommy, I found you, yay!" The little pink dumpling flung herself at her, hugging her legs and acting cute and coquettish. Chi Xiaoyu was utterly confused. She had never been married, so how could she have a child? What was even more fatal was that this kid really did look exactly like her…

Five years ago, Qiao Nian was schemed against by her sister, Qiao Xin. After spending a night with a stranger, Qiao Nian got pregnant. She did not know who the father of the child was, and eventually gave birth to a stillborn. Under the machinations of her mother and sister, Qiao Nian was stripped off of her shares in Qiao Group and sent to a mental hospital. Five years later, her younger sister, Qiao Xin, was going to be married off to the Second Young Master of the Gu family. He was rumored to be extremely ugly. On the day he was born, the doctor predicted that he would not live past twenty years old. Her mother could not bear to see Qiao Xin marry such a person and thought of Qiao Nian, who was still locked in the mental hospital. Overnight, Qiao Nian was taken out of the hospital to replace Qiao Xin in her marriage into the Gu family. Her mother said, "It's a good thing that Qiao Nian, this good-for-nothing, can replace Xin'er to be a living widow in the Gu family. If Xin'er were to marry into that family, I would be heartbroken." Qiao Xin said, "Mom, don't say that about Sister. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't know what to do. I'm just worried that Sister wouldn't agree." Her father said, "Xin'er, you're too kind. Have you forgotten how Qiao Nian slandered you five years ago? She has no self-restraint. She got pregnant before marriage and even gave birth to a stillborn child. We're treating her well enough by letting her marry someone from the prestigious Gu family! What right does she have to be picky?" Qiao Nian sneered. Back then, the scheme against her had only succeeded due to a freak combination of factors, causing her to suffer. She was going to get back at all of them! Everyone thought that her actions were borne from a combination of a loser's mentality and mental illness, but little did they know that this marriage would be a strong union as impactful as Mars crashing into Earth! Taking advantage of her brilliant skills in medicine, Qian Nian made various trashy people and scumbags eat their words. In the blink of an eye, her multiple identities shocked the world as each of them got exposed. It turned out that she was rich enough to rival a country! Later on, Second Young Master Gu placed a pair of Qiao Nian's miniature clones in front of her. Faced with these two children who resembled her and Gu Zhou, Qiao Nian blinked in shock. "When did I give birth to your children?"

Ousted by her stepmother and overshadowed by her envious stepsister, the fallen heiress embarks on a contract marriage with a tycoon who holds the key to reclaiming her rightful place. As family feuds escalate, she fights back with her reluctant ally, turning the tables on deceit and securing her mother's safety. The plan was a clean break after a fake wedding, but he clung on and refused to let go. Staring at the man beside her, she felt a throbbing headache: "Sir, we really don't match..." "I don't think so!" He raised an eyebrow and backed her into a corner. The next day, she fled with a sore back. He made a call: "The little wild cat has run away again, lock down the airport immediately!"