best ur mom jokes

"Hätten wir doch nur früher gemerkt, was da passiert..." "Wenn wir nur stärker wären..." "Dann wäre das alles nicht passiert." Bedauern. Valyr empfand großes Bedauern, als er sah, wie die Welt vor ihm ins Nichts zerfiel... Nur weil sie die letzte Schlacht verloren hatten. Obwohl er das Ergebnis bereits akzeptiert hatte, fühlte er, dass es falsch war. Er klammerte sich an seinen letzten Hoffnungsschimmer und beschloss, in seinem letzten Moment dem Himmel zu wünschen, dass er eine zweite Chance bekommen würde. Eine zweite Chance, bei der er dafür sorgen würde, dass ihre Seite gewinnen würde, wenn alles so ausgehen würde wie bisher. Zum Glück für ihn... Der Himmel hat zugehört. Wiedergeboren in dem Spiel, in dem alles begann und alles endete, wurde Valyr schnell klar, dass er nicht als Spieler wiedergeboren worden war. Stattdessen war er nun ein NSC. Ein NSC des Spiels namens Greater Beyond. Zunächst verwirrt, begann Valyr sich allmählich an seine neuen Umstände zu gewöhnen und beschloss, den Weg des Schmiedens, den er in seinem vorherigen Leben gewählt hatte, weiterzuverfolgen und ihn zu nutzen, um größere Höhen zu erreichen. Dabei würde er dafür sorgen, dass sie alle für die letzte Schlacht gerüstet waren. Werden Sie Zeuge von Valyrs Reise zum Gipfel, wo er schließlich zum... Der Ur-Gottesschmied des Größeren Jenseits. ---------- Zusätzliche Kapitelziele: Erreiche die Top 100 in der wöchentlichen PS-Rangliste - 1 Bonuskapitel Erreichen der Top 80 in der wöchentlichen PS-Rangliste - 2 Bonuskapitel Erreichen der Top 50 in der wöchentlichen PS-Rangliste - 3 Bonuskapitel Erreichen der Top 100 in der monatlichen GT-Rangliste - 1 Bonuskapitel Erreichen der Top 80 in der monatlichen GT-Rangliste - 2 Bonuskapitel Erreichen der Top 50 in der monatlichen GT-Rangliste - 3 Bonuskapitel Schenke dem Roman ein Schloss - 2 Bonuskapitel ---------- Gewöhnliche Kapitelveröffentlichungsrate: 2/Tag (ohne Bonuskapitel) Du kannst gerne dem Discord beitreten: https://discord.gg/FU7fdYwaau

Der unfruchtbare Kontinent, wo die Kampfkünste an erster Stelle stehen und die Stärke über alles geehrt wird. Das einmalige Wunderkind Ye Chen brachte die uralte und unvergleichliche göttliche Technik hervor. Er kultivierte seine kämpferischen Adern, überlebte die Donnertrübsal, verschmolz mit dem Geisterblut wahrer Wesen und erschütterte die sechs Harmonien und die acht Verheerungen mit seinem kämpferischen Können. Er durchstreifte die unzähligen Reiche und Himmel und kämpfte in der ganzen Welt mit dem geheimen Reich von Milliarden von Sternen, die ewig und unsterblich sind! Eine endlose Fundgrube von Schätzen, Welten voller bizarrer Wunder, Sekten, alten Clans, Feen, Hexen, Freundschaften und Feindschaften und hitzigen Kämpfen - all das war darin enthalten.

Tragically betrayed by her father and stepsister, she was sent to an old and ugly man, never expecting to give birth to a pair of universally adored, high-appearance, high-intelligence, and high-emotional quotient "three-high" dragon and phoenix twins! Terrified that the old man would steal her children, she changed her name and went into hiding in Tibet. However, her adorable twins brought back a man of noble status for her. Seeing the man in front of her who looked exactly like her son, Silvia Yates was so shocked that she hadn't yet spoken when the man wrapped his arm around her waist......

For money, Jin Jumo "signed" herself to the business tycoon Rong Mochen, for a period of one year. Upon their first meeting, the man's voice was icy, "I like women who keep their place, understand?" "Yes." Jin Jumo nodded lightly. So, Jin Jumo always adhered to her place, tightly locking her heart away, never crossing the line. If there was anything in her relationship with Rong Mochen that Jin Jumo hadn't anticipated, it would be... --- "Mr. Rong, our contract expired a week ago." Jin Jumo lightly curved her lips, giving a smile that didn't reach her eyes as she looked at the man in front of her. "So?" "So, Mr. Rong, are you playing rogue now?" Jin Jumo gritted her teeth. "Hmm..." Rong Mochen frowned, leisurely raising his head to look at Jin Jumo, "Is my daughter behaving well in your belly?" "It's not even two months, how do you know it's definitely a daughter..." Wait... Jin Jumo's eyes widened in terror, she hadn't told him she was pregnant... Rumor had it, a car accident targeting Z City tycoon Rong Mochen resulted in the death of a seven-month-pregnant woman. Rumor had it, after the accident, the Rong Family's president underwent a drastic change, becoming ruthless and fierce from being coldly indifferent. Rumor had it, the person killed in the accident was the person closest to Rong Mochen's heart. --- Four years later. "Brother, do we really need to find a new boyfriend for Mommy?" The little bun bit his chubby fingers, looking at the little boy beside him who was slightly taller. "Yes." The boy squinted, his gaze coldly fixed on the televised global sensation of the Rong Family's president's luxurious engagement ceremony. "But didn't Brother say that the old man named Rong is our real dad?" Jin Jumo, who had just stepped into the house, was nearly collapsing inside. How did the two little guys know Rong Mochen was...

Seven years ago, Eleanor Sterling was framed and humiliated by her treacherous sister, resulting in the birth of a child with an unknown father. Seven years later, she returns with her adorable child and numerous disguises to seek revenge and sweep away all wicked foes. However, she unexpectedly finds herself entangled with two persistent individuals. Little Sticky Bun: "Mommy, it's buy one, get one free!" Big Sticky Bun traps her in his embrace, gritting his teeth: "Hacked my account?" Eleanor Sterling: "Alaric, let me explain." The man then brings out the two children, "Stole my genes?" Eleanor grits her teeth; the man who ruined her reputation years ago was him? Alaric Faulkner carries her to bed, "One stolen, punished tenfold, give me another to compensate!"

After the Gaokao ended, Lin Feng started working at a bar to earn tuition. Unexpectedly, he encountered a beautiful woman who was drowning her sorrows, insisting that Lin Feng drink with her. Both got drunk as skunks, unconscious. When Lin Feng woke up, the beautiful woman had already left, and the previous night seemed like a dream. Two years later, during the first semester of his sophomore year, a beautiful tutor suddenly joined his class. Lin Feng: Hm? This beautiful lady, why does she look a bit familiar? Zhang Yuxi: Lin Feng, do you still remember that night two years ago? Lin Feng: ??? When Lin Feng saw the four adorably clueless babies in Zhang Yuxi's home, he knew he couldn’t run away anymore…

"W-what are you doing?" Eli was shocked as she saw the handsome man, his upper body glistened in the morning light, drenched in sweat as he firmly held a massive axe. "Wife! Good morning! The wood is ready to keep you warm for the winter ahead!" The man proudly pointed towards the massive mountain of firewood he just finished chopping. “Heavens! Did you chop every tree in the whole forest?!” Eli felt her head ache. "We are still in the middle of spring!" -- She was a salary woman. For her, career was just the only way to survive in this cruel world. Being a housewife was far from reality as bills kept haunting her bank account. When she suffered a plane crash in one of her business trips, she dejectedly lamented not experiencing the simple joys women used to experience in her age. However, a young woman's soul came begging to her, to use her body in another world so that her unborn child could live. In exchange for continuing to live, the task was to give birth to the young woman's child and be the coolest mom evarrrrrr! --- A transmigration story. However, our protagonist Eli, has to transmigrate into a pregnant woman's body. Facing the woes of a pregnant single mother, while surviving in a world where magic and evil exist, will she even successfully go through motherhood as a single parent? ...or will she need to have a hubby by her side after all? -- This is my first work and only signed in webnovel. Please do not post it to other sites T_T thanks! -- Cover Art by talented Iris Enj Come give her some love in IG and FB @iris_enj (Iris Enj) Follow this auntie potato on instagram @randompotato21

Jiang Ran, a descendant of a family of traditional Chinese medicine, has developed new drugs and won numerous awards, but her greatest love is making and eating delicious food. After years of hard work, Jiang Ran finally won the national gourmet competition, but in her excitement, she entered a book, becoming the supporting character Jiang Ran, who divorces the male protagonist and ultimately dies tragically on the street. In the book, Jiang Ran is described as fat, with oily pimples and lazy, selfish habits. Before divorcing the male protagonist, she bullies his parents, siblings, and after the divorce, ends up homeless with her son. The newly transmigrated Jiang Ran: "......" Jiang Ran has transmigrated into a book. To avoid dying tragically on the streets, she focuses on making gourmet food, opening a restaurant, saving people diligently, and treating diseases. She pays off the debt owed to her husband’s family by the original character and raises her son, who in the book was to become a big villain, correctly. As for her husband? When he comes back, she plans to ask for a divorce! Pei Huai is about to graduate and plans to return home. But he discovers something strange in the letters his younger brothers and sisters have been sending recently. Brother: Sister-in-law’s cooking is so delicious! I like sister-in-law! Sister: The clothes sister-in-law made are so beautiful! I like sister-in-law! Pei Huai feels something is not right and decides to go home and take a look. As he steps into the house, he is greeted by a bright and charming face: "Husband, you’re back? Are you back to get a divorce?" Pei Huai remains expressionless: No, I am not! {Reading Guide: This text is set in an alternate world with creative liberties taken. The understanding of the '80s and '90s comes from online research, and I hope for your understanding.}

After an accidental one-night stand with a mysterious man, Charlotte Johnson had eight children. Four years later, Charlotte lived a blissful life with her eight genius children. Although her life was tough, in her eye's, everything was worth it. However, Henry Stevens, the wealthiest and most powerful man in the Imperial City, disrupted her previously uneventful life. At first, he thought that she was playing hard to get, so he was disdainful of her. However, afterwards, he realized that not only was she the mother of his children, but also the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Xu Wenping was forced into a blind date by his mother with a stunning CEO, Su Yurou, who was ten years older than him but still had a breathtaking figure and appearance. The two quickly fell in love, and everything seemed to be going well until they ended up in bed together. That was when Xu Wenping saw a photo of two women in Su Yurou's room—one was Su Yurou and the other was his ex-girlfriend from college! Xu Wenping asked, "Dear, who is this woman?" Su Yurou replied, "She is my daughter... oh wait, our daughter!" Xu Wenping was speechless. When the three of them met, Xu Wenping said with righteousness, "So what? You broke up with me, and now I'm marrying your mother. Why are you crying?"