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JSirMixalotL
JSirMixalotLLv47mth
2024-09-21 22:10

In my opinion there are only 3 things that the reader needs to know beforehand or needs improvement on the authors side. Apart from those the idea is great and the grammar is way above most stories you find on this platform. And it's not just the AI generated bullshit that pops up everywhere. 1 - Ulquiorra is nerfed to hell and back, at least in the beginning (10% Ulqiorra = 10 Mio. Bounty Pirate) 2 - Heavy AU; dates, bounties, strengths etc can be all over the place. Although many are close to cannon there is hardly a chapter where One Piece fans don't read something that does not fit into at all. 3 - The ratio of explanations or thought monologues to progression is terrible. I didn't calculate it but it felt like 2:1 or worse. There is hardly any flow for the reader and that makes it hard to stay immersed in the story.

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Replies5
DragonnX
DragonnXAuthor

In the very first 5 chapters. afterwards. the mc is strong. almost overpowered. currently in the chapter 35 he is quasi-admiral

JSirMixalotL
JSirMixalotLLv4

that's why i added "in the beginning". While reading i was confused with the 10% strength being so low and saw many comments stating the same, that's why i mentioned it in my review. I read till chapter 24 so i knew his strength grows rapidly

DragonnX:In the very first 5 chapters. afterwards. the mc is strong. almost overpowered. currently in the chapter 35 he is quasi-admiral
Dark_PersonJJ
Dark_PersonJJLv4

will thare be Harem and Lemons in this story?

DragonnX:In the very first 5 chapters. afterwards. the mc is strong. almost overpowered. currently in the chapter 35 he is quasi-admiral
Melshan
MelshanLv7

The MC will have a wife or Harem?

DragonnX:In the very first 5 chapters. afterwards. the mc is strong. almost overpowered. currently in the chapter 35 he is quasi-admiral
PsyLoRD
PsyLoRDLv5

raw?

DragonnX:In the very first 5 chapters. afterwards. the mc is strong. almost overpowered. currently in the chapter 35 he is quasi-admiral
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