webnovel
Unfated
UnfatedLv46mth
2024-10-06 11:31

As much as I find the idea of an Espada as a character in One Piece and enjoy the overall progression of the story, I'm seriously questioning the way you're portraying it. Why would you spoil the rate of strength of the main character for the reader? By having your character measure himself to others after periods of growth would not only be more satisfying for the reader, but it also wouldn't create the issue of it coming off as needless exposition. There was no reason to claim certain percentages as benchmarks before meeting said benchmarks. Secondly, the amount of times exposition is repeated to the reader is way too much. You don't need to constantly remind the reader of things when they are quite literally mentioned a chapter or two prior. Finally, the references... are unbearably repetitive. They are everywhere and incredibly annoying. If the reader wanted to know specifics about Fairy Tail, they would've read a story about Fairy Tail. If you feel like mentioning a certain reference by no means am I saying you shouldn't, but seriously consider cutting them down... by a lot. PS: I know you've already mentioned how you have errors in the writing of lore and background information, so I haven't let that decide the rating, but please don't forget to correct them.

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