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TempestDriftLv51yr
2023-10-06 06:23

The writing is so confusing, and the names of the characters all feel like chatGPT generated. The dialogue is stale and one dimensional, it feels like NPC lines except disjointed and translated. The "antagonist(s)" are like wildly cartoon-ish, their literal dialogue would be along the lines of "I'm upset and mad Grr." A word of caution, read with your brain turned off less you find plot holes and grammar mistakes.

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NewComer714Author

Well no, the names weren't generated by ChatGPT. Additionally, I've written an entire page for the characters here, including many who haven't been introduced yet or some characters from the early chapters who will appear in future chapters.

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Yue_021Lv14

Binged around 150 Chaps all night before stopping. It was very good at first but then the plot becomes repetitive and the pacing became too fast which robbed that good experience I felt in the early chaps.If I have if honest I truly enjoyed the so called 'filler' slife of life chapters you stopped making after a certain point, its gives depth to the character and could have been another plot point to avoid the repetitiveness of the business side. Like you could have explored Mira's life in college and how her relationship with the mc impacted her life there. The reactions of the classmates? How did the treatment of her change when he donated a sum of money to the school? Perhaps you can have some male student attempt to 'flirt' her and how she rejects it and then follwed by the mc showing him that she is his. There is a lot of aspects in his relationship with not only with Mira but also her parents, her sister, his sisters, and etc. There's a lot of plotpoint that could have been explored. These things had a lot of potential that would give depth to your characters. Making them more relatable and easy to sympathize with. But we barely get any of it and then at certain point completely stopped it.There also the problem where you repeatedly told a scene instead of showing it. Like they said "Show not Tell". You did it right with the buying of the marriage ring. You showed us, instead of just saying "He bought an elegant ring" and leave it at that.I believe it was a bad move when you stopped making the so called 'filler' slice-of-slife chaps after the marriage chapter. Those where the things that I enjoyed and helped avoid the reptitiveness of the business side. So much potential but was not explored.Hope this helps you improve author. I geniunely enjoyed reading this book.

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