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jackjx
jackjxLv11yr
2023-10-27 04:41

An intriguing premise that ultimately falls short of delivering something truly remarkable. Frankly, it seems to me that the author is afraid to write their own story, as evidenced by spending four chapters merely choosing a ring. Every decision appears to be the one that requires the least effort. All the games that have been released feel more like a rehash of a documentary about games, rather than an attempt by the author to achieve anything substantial. The protagonist, despite having been a game developer in their past life, only uses this knowledge to recreate what would have been done during that same era. Don't get me wrong, the idea of using classic IPs like Mario and Final Fantasy is fantastic, but why not combine this with modern game development knowledge to create even better games? Why limit oneself to ideas from that era alone? I recall seeing a fan recreate Bloodborne for the PSX and pondering what it would have been like if the game had been released back then, and what possibilities that could have brought. Imagine Hollow Knight on a 16-bit console, the same for Undertale. Author, if I may shamelessly make a request, please allow yourself to truly create something remarkable in this story, rather than producing yet another bland offering reminiscent of Qidian, with the only distinguishing feature being Japanese names.

Liked by 92 people

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Replies3
PedagangSiput
PedagangSiputLv2

Agree, I don't even understand why this FF is in the TOP Powerstones. Even though the story presented feels like MTL

Jheydi327
Jheydi327Lv13

Finally!... Someone saw the flaw of this fic.. I'm still hesitant whether to continue reading this despite reading only 5 chapters...

NahuelDZ
NahuelDZLv1

Do you remember the name of that FF?

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Reverse_9612
Reverse_9612Lv2
TempestDrift
TempestDriftLv5
Yue_021
Yue_021Lv14

Binged around 150 Chaps all night before stopping. It was very good at first but then the plot becomes repetitive and the pacing became too fast which robbed that good experience I felt in the early chaps.If I have if honest I truly enjoyed the so called 'filler' slife of life chapters you stopped making after a certain point, its gives depth to the character and could have been another plot point to avoid the repetitiveness of the business side. Like you could have explored Mira's life in college and how her relationship with the mc impacted her life there. The reactions of the classmates? How did the treatment of her change when he donated a sum of money to the school? Perhaps you can have some male student attempt to 'flirt' her and how she rejects it and then follwed by the mc showing him that she is his. There is a lot of aspects in his relationship with not only with Mira but also her parents, her sister, his sisters, and etc. There's a lot of plotpoint that could have been explored. These things had a lot of potential that would give depth to your characters. Making them more relatable and easy to sympathize with. But we barely get any of it and then at certain point completely stopped it.There also the problem where you repeatedly told a scene instead of showing it. Like they said "Show not Tell". You did it right with the buying of the marriage ring. You showed us, instead of just saying "He bought an elegant ring" and leave it at that.I believe it was a bad move when you stopped making the so called 'filler' slice-of-slife chaps after the marriage chapter. Those where the things that I enjoyed and helped avoid the reptitiveness of the business side. So much potential but was not explored.Hope this helps you improve author. I geniunely enjoyed reading this book.

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Nadie09 · Video Games
Not enough ratings
37 Chs