webnovel
PedagangSiput
PedagangSiputLv21yr
2023-11-04 07:48

I'm on chapter 80. This story contains a brain cell virus where the MC is very terrible with various plots here and there which are very forced. The copy paste in this novel makes it look like a Chinese story, even I saw some of the OCs were cliche arrogant young masters. Until this chapter 80, MC is still hiding his identity. I still don't understand why he was hiding, even though there weren't any threats like people chasing his life to kill him. And the crazy thing is that the Yakuza somehow worship him like a God, rubbish plot.

Tycoon of Video Games

NewComer714
4.4
501 Chs

Liked by 59 people

LIKE
Replies6
MorningWood_Dao
MorningWood_DaoLv5

good thing I'm not the one who felt "stupid" reading the novel. reading the first 3 chapters already made me rethink my choice of life. idk why, something feels wrong with the novel

1yr
19
Over_Lord_9904
Over_Lord_9904Lv5

Read again

1yr
1
Yamette_Kutasai
Yamette_KutasaiLv4

Anyone worth their salt in life would feel uncomfortable reading this type of work.

MorningWood_Dao:good thing I'm not the one who felt "stupid" reading the novel. reading the first 3 chapters already made me rethink my choice of life. idk why, something feels wrong with the novel
1yr
4
Nyxio
NyxioLv4

Cuz it is Chinese book’s translation and webnovel is Chinese..only that can explain this

The content has been deleted
11mth
4
Alysson_Luiz
Alysson_LuizLv1

If this is a translation, what is the real name of this work, I can't wait for the chapters

Nyxio:Cuz it is Chinese book’s translation and webnovel is Chinese..only that can explain this
11mth
20_Mystic
20_MysticLv4

about the yakuza point your right

9mth
Other Reviews
jackjx
jackjxLv1

Reveal spoiler

1yr

Reverse_9612
Reverse_9612Lv2

Reveal spoiler

1yr
Kenrio
KenrioLv11

This is translation right? Because if not, this is literally a copy paste of a Chinese novel. And tour excuse how it will become diferent from the original is pretty trash, you should simple not copy paste from the begining

1yr
DotComplex
DotComplexLv3

It's good, I don't particularly care thats its inspired from or even largely copied from another novel. That novel has below MTL level grammar and is generally unreadable, so the author is effectively giving us way better content.

1yr
TempestDrift
TempestDriftLv5

Reveal spoiler

1yr
hde
hdeLv1

It's very stale tbh. kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

1yr
Yue_021
Yue_021Lv14

Binged around 150 Chaps all night before stopping. It was very good at first but then the plot becomes repetitive and the pacing became too fast which robbed that good experience I felt in the early chaps.If I have if honest I truly enjoyed the so called 'filler' slife of life chapters you stopped making after a certain point, its gives depth to the character and could have been another plot point to avoid the repetitiveness of the business side. Like you could have explored Mira's life in college and how her relationship with the mc impacted her life there. The reactions of the classmates? How did the treatment of her change when he donated a sum of money to the school? Perhaps you can have some male student attempt to 'flirt' her and how she rejects it and then follwed by the mc showing him that she is his. There is a lot of aspects in his relationship with not only with Mira but also her parents, her sister, his sisters, and etc. There's a lot of plotpoint that could have been explored. These things had a lot of potential that would give depth to your characters. Making them more relatable and easy to sympathize with. But we barely get any of it and then at certain point completely stopped it.There also the problem where you repeatedly told a scene instead of showing it. Like they said "Show not Tell". You did it right with the buying of the marriage ring. You showed us, instead of just saying "He bought an elegant ring" and leave it at that.I believe it was a bad move when you stopped making the so called 'filler' slice-of-slife chaps after the marriage chapter. Those where the things that I enjoyed and helped avoid the reptitiveness of the business side. So much potential but was not explored.Hope this helps you improve author. I geniunely enjoyed reading this book.

12mth
PREDINO09
PREDINO09Lv4

bro work on your other novels it's already been 17 days

1yr
Navigator_Ray
Navigator_RayLv4

quite nice I haven't read the original where author took inspiration from my brain was already fried after 5 chapters 😅 mind u I don't read trash translation on webnovel but that was something else anyway it's quiet good I mean author is proving better translation better storyline and most importantly it's free 😉 what more can u ask so go ahead give it try u would be hooked [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]and keep up the good work author

1yr
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