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DetachedDreamer
DetachedDreamerLv142yr
2022-09-29 14:49

I read 45 chapters and there hasn't been an ounce of action. seems obvious he wants to stray away from the plot and any action at all. its basically just been a long training montage. The writing is at an acceptable level but the humor falls short consistently due to the level of English. he does time skips then goes back to tell you what he did in detail, which defeats the purpose of the time skip. lol The author made sure to add 98/100 of the most popular hp fanfic tropes, granted the few not added were major ones. The story is decent but honestly just seems like a side story at this point. Not being involved and not affecting the plot is just lazy writing in my eyes. 45+ chapters and no true storyline cept a kid who's already reached his goal of being the most powerful wizard basically. Overall not a bad story but its development is at a snails pace, having full chapters dedicated to single day classes, consistently. I had to give up but I would recommend people to give the story a chance, I know there are folk who would like this story.

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TheKindlyGentleman
TheKindlyGentlemanLv6

Even Ignoring the fact that you can't train occlumecy without the assistance of a legilimens, that you can't successfully train controlled Magic until the age of 11, that occlumecy and legilimency take years to train to novice mastery, let alone the full mastery required to augment ones memories, that training one martial art to full mastery requires at least half a decade of dedicated work, let alone 4-8 martial arts with only semi-dedication, that you can't learn magical spells based upon what you've learned from movies and books from another life taught with the use of a wand in mind, wandlessly. Ignoring all of that, creating a character that is so Overpowered before Canon even starts, such that at his current rate of progression he will never be in danger at any point in the story, makes for a horribly boring and bland tale indeed. This is complete wish fulfillment, it is not at all realistic even for fantasy fiction. what's more the grammar while decent enough to read is still below average and often repetitive. all in all I recommend the author is clear and concise with whatever point they may be trying to get across, that they describe the environment around the character more often and in more detail, that they stop giving written diatribes of what the character plans to do and more of what they are currently doing, that they make the character face danger and adversity more often and that the character is given more of a personality, with faults and quirks and that the character is not so strong so fast, AT MOST they should be at the level of a third year at the end of the first year.

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