Its interesting and the grammar is good..BUT the structure is ****ed up...make the paragraphs smaller...plus so far theres no actual story despite large chps...and you know just saying...the MC has a ****ty personality...do change this.... suggestion; OP MC...smart and not some perverted idiot...perverted MCs are always weird to read..that **** only works in manga and anime..build the damn romance and do keep the harem small..also pls no issei type MC that goes around *****ing about strength and stealing wives. well...I said my piece,..goodshow and goodluck
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LIKEThank you for your review, i'm honestly happy when people gives me constructive criticism, i will try to make paragraphs smaller. But don't worry,he will not end up as a stupid like Issei and he will not have a massive harem,my plan is for 1 or 2 girls.. :D maybe something even similar to a couple for a long period of time, hope you will continue to follow my story as i will try to make it better with time and practice.
goodluck
watashiwavdesu:Thank you for your review, i'm honestly happy when people gives me constructive criticism, i will try to make paragraphs smaller. But don't worry,he will not end up as a stupid like Issei and he will not have a massive harem,my plan is for 1 or 2 girls.. :D maybe something even similar to a couple for a long period of time, hope you will continue to follow my story as i will try to make it better with time and practice.
where is the negative vision....this review is 4 days old...plus I just suggested what I'd like there to be in the book and what was bad......what negative vision are you talking about?
DarkMouth:Author improved the paragraphs and the mc is changing, why such a negative vision of this novel?
I'm actually happy that you helped me figuring out that the paragraphs needed to be smaller as i realized my mistakes thanks to you. So it doesn't matter at all, i really appreciated your review.
amaturewriter:where is the negative vision....this review is 4 days old...plus I just suggested what I'd like there to be in the book and what was bad......what negative vision are you talking about?
I accept nearly every type of review, but insults directely to me and my story will be eliminated outright.๐But thanks, i appreciate the fact that you wanted to argue at him but he was right. I f*cked up with the paragraphs and i explained in a bad way the personality of the Mc.
DarkMouth:Author improved the paragraphs and the mc is changing, why such a negative vision of this novel?
i saw this novel only 3 days ago and chapters were already in a good structure so i thought there was something wrong because most of the times authors correct their mistakes days after they found out they made one so..
amaturewriter:where is the negative vision....this review is 4 days old...plus I just suggested what I'd like there to be in the book and what was bad......what negative vision are you talking about?
๐ โโ๏ธi understand, you thought he was exaggerating, don't you?
DarkMouth:i saw this novel only 3 days ago and chapters were already in a good structure so i thought there was something wrong because most of the times authors correct their mistakes days after they found out they made one so..
Mm, I see the author took the advice to heart. Which is great to see. He listened to the people, and improved along with his character it seems. *BUT* I usually have an issue handling stupid MC's... Even if they do get somewhat better later on. I really want to give such an author a shot however... Conflicted...
You should!
Ahtu_Flagg:Mm, I see the author took the advice to heart. Which is great to see. He listened to the people, and improved along with his character it seems. *BUT* I usually have an issue handling stupid MC's... Even if they do get somewhat better later on. I really want to give such an author a shot however... Conflicted...
Could you possibly tell me who is in the harem or the romantic interest?
watashiwavdesu:As i said yes, i am okay with review that have critics on my novel,as long as there are no insults no one will be deleted. This mainly because i want to remember how i was writing in the 'past' more clearly.๐คฃ