This review is part of a review swap and valid as of chapter 38. We have a big chunk of litrpg here. Status displays in your face every other page. This site (Webnovel) it most definitely a horrible place to publish this kind of story -- it's no fault of the author's. Suddenly the story is broken by a status display, and it's not formatted in a way that is forgiving on the eyes. Sadly it makes it all hard to read. The story follows the standard; die badly at earth, have a chat with a godlike being and get transported/reincarnated in a world with a game system. Memories from past life intact. It also belong in the horribly overpowered main character department. I don't like that, but I won't allow that to colour this review. The same goes for my general dislike of litrpg. The first 20 or so chapters depict a rather mindless slaughter sliced with a little story. Basically we're having an orgy of levelling up and huge chunks of infodumps hidden in status displays and ability information displays. After that the remaining part of the first volume follows a plotline where the main character gains a partner and experience an adventure, which eventually ends in another slaughter scene. The second volume is still in its beginning. There are elements of a magic academy style of story, and what could, or could not, be the extreme beginnings of a romance sub story. This part is in the extremely early phase, so I honestly don't know. If you love watching numerical data for your main hero, then here's your treat. Rest assured you'll never miss out on a single detail on an ability gained. If that's not your cup of tea, well stay away. Now for the stars. Writing: Four stars. It's a good read (if you like status displays) but it's executed with sloppy grammar and spelling. Updates: Five stars. The frequency of updates is simply insane. Story: Four stars. No matter if you like litrpg or not, massive chunks of status displays and info dumps in the form of ability descriptions grinds the story progression to a halt. Apart from that you have a good dungeon-crawl. Think Blizzard's game Diablo in words. Character: Five stars. There's a lot more than merely status displays and abilities here. This far in the story there are only two real characters, but they're both well fleshed out. World: Four stars. I've taken the stance that dungeoncrawling is the bloody version of a vacation in hell, and that is supposed to be a good thing in this kind of story. I refuse to hand out the fifth star, because I'm unable to see the details of the world through the spray of blood and brain substance filling my vision whenever I take a look. Lastly, if you get your kicks from brainless slaughter, look no further. It's all here.
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Thank you for the accurate review! I will make sure to improve on the grammar and story. Also, very glad you picked out the worls building, as I wish to improve more on it. Very thankful for your patience!
I'm not entirely certain story and world are fixable, and I don't mean your writing ability at all. It's this site screwing you over. You're even worse off than I am. I merely complain about being unable to write in italics, but you need to be able to show those status displays and ability displays in a graphcally distinct way, like a matrix or something. That way it's instinctively clear for the readin eye that this isn't part of the ongoing story. Here it all occupies the same physical space as the rest of the tale, because you can't make an immediate visual distinction between the parts. Ie I, as a reader, cant skip a level-update and go on with the fight.
I understand what you mean. Taking this information with me as I go on will be a first. I'll dump less 'status' information onto the readers, and try to redeem the sloppy start with a proper plot(which will include less mindless slaughter). Again, very glad you took such an enormous amount of time going through it. It really helps me see how incredibly flawed a large amount of the work towards now has become. Truly, I am grateful.
Well, litrpg is SUPPOSED to include an orgy of displays. The problem here is that you can't show them as display. This publishing site doesn't enable you to use what should have been a basic feature in a place that advertises the genre Video Games. While I did feel that the first twenty chaps were a little *cough* rushed, the rest of the story included pretty much the number of displays that I expected. I am, however, used to see those displays encapsulated in table-format, in a different colour, and in a different font, on other sites. Ie, the display LOOKS like a display, not part of the text. This is NOT your fault or a flaw in the story. I might not like litrpg personally, but that doesn't mean I should ask for a lower amount of the elements that make litrpg unique as a genre.
Try posting on Royalroadl they have alot of litrpg.i see homemade tables in all the stories I think they even have that option through their publishing medium. It's been a long time since I wrote anything on RR. I was really big into transmigration and litrpg stories but grew out of them.Thats why I feel sick looking at pulp wuxia and litrpg. They feel stale.
What a review! You should be a reviewer.
