webnovel
GrampZLv22yr
2022-03-29 17:36

Bro I will tell you some of my personal frustrations, as well as I won't mind if my comment displeases some fans of Akikan's work, but this story made me so angry that I wanted to comment on it and give a review about it.. (sorry if my spelling is incorrect, as I can't speak English :-; ). Okay, let's start this story, a basic concept presented by several other authors, but because it's basic it's not bad, but what the author will do with it throughout the entire work and I can even say that I liked it at first, to the point of I comment on the chapters and give ''Power Stone''. (I had already seen other Akikan stories and thought he really had an interesting creativity, until I found out that in this story he practically took the plot of another story from China and created on top of it without even giving the least credit on the page fanfic's initial '-' ) Another thing I found interesting is that there are several fanfics with this theme where it brings together several romance and school life animes in the same world, but I realized that they are all very similar from the writing and even the story, however Akikan can diversify from these others... But something that let me down is the main character's lack of charisma and even how all the girls fall in love with him for simple silly reasons, as well as his lack of the overall background. This work simply arrived at a point where Shishio gained some skill thanks to one of his girlfriends and was in this vicious cycle where it would be like this: Girl= Potential for some skill= Will become Shisio's girlfriend= Shishio becomes richer, stronger, handsome...= more girls. Oh really? Like I think I've advanced a little in the criticism, so let's go back a little... Shishio wins a system gets girls and that's it? Honestly, I don't even know where to start criticizing, apart from the fact that I think other readers would like to see the main character having more characteristics without being a perfect guy (I'm pretty sure that if you have someone with the patience to read all this, at least least must have several flaws. For example just reading all this LOL :)... _) I would like more if it detailed the world itself, showing clearly about what surrounds it and even something simpler like the characteristics of the girls where it really had the minimum of focus and it wasn't just several girls wanting the attention of the main character. A long-term problem of the work would also be this HUGE money and INCREDIBLE skills, like I really want to see this author succeed in the future to make people not get tired of seeing the protagonist manage to do everything and have everything at his disposal. Speaking of which, something that is seriously lacking in these stories is having some event in the story that is interesting no matter how small (other than Shishio picking up girls and GG), as well as having some ''problems'' that the main character has to face. If we are going to see every story considered good, it has some characteristics in common and one of them is that not everything goes right momentarily for the protagonist and in this work apparently it will be ''Gary Stu in the world of romance and school life anime''. Sorry if my review was bad, I just typed and went :)

Liked by 21 people

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Replies1
Amir_Ammar_1137Lv1

Thank you for the reviews it fun to find a genuily review that can express what i want ro say btw your english is good i can still understand it

Other Reviews
Daoist591682Lv5
GodackLv2

Writing Quality: 3*: The grammar is fine but because the way the story is written I have to give it 3*. Why? I will have to share how interpret how this story is written. [Main character meets an important character: main character-sanchankunkohai please call me idiot-samakunsanchanniinee] I just can't read the story normally. Updates are fine. Story development 3*. The beginning started out fine but then it just stagnated, it took multiple chapters for one day where I felt like there wasn't even much plot development besides the obvious ranting of the main character. Character design 2*. I liked the prospect of the main character but it all came crashing down when he started interacting with his surroundings. At first I though that that aunt person would be the only one but then it just became worse and worse untill I coun't read any further. World background 2*. In the couple dozen chapters I've read I haven't really learned anything significant about how the world works and what it actually is, my initial guess was that it was an original world with characters from anime etc but then apperantly it was a cliche anime world full of 2d cardboard characters that filled the world. Total score 3.0*. Now don't start saying that I am bad mouthing the story because I will admit that I am doing it but it is still a review on my opinion of the story, but this is in no way trying to discourage you from reading as you have your onw opinion and weird fetishes(though you have to have some weird and sick mind to like such fetishes[Opinion]) so don't start hating. Now my personal opinion: this story is just another generic cliche (Harem/romance/r-18) story on this cursed website that will be long forgotten after the author either drops it or finishes it.

GinOokamiLv14

I was going to wait until the end of this fanfic or at least by the end of chapter 500 to write a review, but I've been bottling up something that I think I should let it out here instead of the comment section. My overall rating may looked bad, but trust me, I don't hate this fanfic nor Akikan. I just hope that I don't offend a lot of people because of this. Also, I don't follow Akikan's siscon fanfic, so I'm basing/comparing this fanfic from his first one. Akikan's writing definitely improved from his first work. But there's this combination of words that he always uses in almost all of his paragraph, and that is "He had to admit." I get that being a non-native English speaker, it is difficult to choose different phrases to express something similar in meaning, but reading it over and over is irritating. Akikan did say that this fanfiction is very slow on its story development. People had speak out about this in the past. So, instead of saying the same thing, I'm going to let my star rating speaks for itself. Now, character design. After chapter 200, I'm beginning to hate this main character. The fact that he said to himself that he won't indulge in romance or anything similar before he finishes writing his obviously plagiarized title from the real world, but still did it anyway, irks me to no end. I won't care as much when a character becomes somewhat of a hypocrite in a story with a not snail-like speed on its story development. But bruh, the timeline in this story hasn't even reach six months, yet he catches women left and right like his story is about to end. Unless you're aiming for women with a garden opened for any male that's passing by, women can wait for a month or two. Heck, he even write the plagiarized story as his novel within a night. Surely letting your little brother stay in your pants for just a week isn't that hard. The update stability for this fanfiction is on point. There's nothing other than praises for this one. I say Akikan did a good job. Even after 200+ chapters, the world hasn't been expanded except for a couple of places. You would think that getting huge amounts of shares of different companies for free is going to help building the world, making it more interesting. But nope, those companies are just names for now. I guess Akikan would rather slap more characters from other fiction than Sakurasou and hope that it builds the world he's using instead of introducing places with unique situations. After writing about 2000+ words on this review, I guess the person who reads this got the message that, although I don't hate this fanfic, I don't like it either. I don't have any expectations for this novel, and I'm not confident that he would read this. The main character will most likely add more women to his ever expanding harem, and whines about how his heart couldn't at least love one of them. Personally, I will continue to read this fanfic, but I won't give a stone/day for this. Maybe a couple/week is enough to help this stay on the 'leaderboard' of webnovel... not like my stone is going to change anything.

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