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Shut up: You, Nymphomaniac Evil Sword

Auteur: Half_Blind
Adolescents et jeunes adultes
Actuel · 981.9K Affichage
  • 248 Shc
    Contenu
  • 4.7
    24 audimat
  • NO.200+
    SOUTIEN
Synopsis

A young philosopher ends up in a war-torn world, where he finds himself among the poor and needy rebels who fight against the humongous army of the corrupted and merciless Alliance government. The Mystery behind his appearance in this new world, slowly unravels as he travels the magical world and faces new challenges. The story follows the philosopher's journey along with his companion, a Nymphomaniac Evil sword, through this modern and magical world, as he experiences different battles, adventures and his own personal dilemmas. Please bear with my English and Thank you all for reading Disclaimer :The cover picture doesn't belong to me, if the artist wants it to be removed it will be removed......

Étiquettes
6 étiquettes
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I will not be bullied in his life, so i shall take on the name Frankenstein, when my enemies remember my name let them shiver......wait i am a transmigrator? and i also have a system ? Frank was abandoned in the military academy at the ripe age of 15 only to find out that his parents had mysteriously disappeared leaving a message explaining that he was not really their child but the transmigrated soul of an evil entity from another world, he refuses to accept it but slowly he comes to understand his true nature and after unlocking his memories he sets of to control the world his motives unknown but his drive and determination unquestionable Follow our protagonist Frank as he sets off into this new world, his goal to become stronger and one day rule the world,. with war is at every corner. Watch as he makes alliances and enemies in this world of mythological beasts, cultivators, ,evil entities, and gods on his road to the top, Will his ambitions lead to peace in this world? Or will he bring about the ultimate destruction of this world ? chat on discord https://discord.gg/k93VX3H4 NOTE: Fair warning the mc will not start out ambitious but when he unlocks the seal in his mind around chapter 108 he will become smarter and more scheming Make it to that point so we can go on this journey together For those who don't like the fatty jack please note that the author and the fatty are one and the same i will make myself a beast in my own novel no need to be worried he will be a badass

primodial · Adolescents et jeunes adultes
4.4
175 Chs
Table des matières
Volume 1 :L... L... T.. R..........

audimat

  • Tarif global
  • Qualité de l’écriture
  • Mise à jour de la stabilité
  • Développement de l’histoire
  • Conception des personnages
  • Contexte mondial
Critiques
Aimé
Nouveau
WWFire
WWFireLv4

Writing style is a train wreck (especially the first 5 five chapters; barely readable): punctuation problems, capitalization problems, too much use of "...", confusing use of braces and brackets (why use this symbols for dialogue/thoughts at all?), lacking dialogue tags or action beats (author writes like a screenwriting). I have no complains for grammar though. Instead of using symbols with unclear meaning (i.e. braces or brackets), just use the standard apostrophe or quotes for thoughts and dialogues. It is your job as an author to make sure that the readers understand whether it is the character's thoughts, mind communications, or dialogues by using the standard format. Do yourself a favor by researching more on proper novel dialogue writing (punctuation too!). Here are other elements I feel that you are lacking: 1. The sense of the MC! That's right, a human has 5 sense, not just sight. How does it smells like when MC arrived in the world? When he drink the water, how does it taste like? Are there any sounds of cracking flames and wave of heat when he got near the burning mountain? If you want to create extraordinary immersion, you should improve this point. 2. What was his name again? Ah, Sam! I almost forgot his name without you mentioning it at all at chapter 10 and only once at chapter 9. 3. World building (visuals) is quite lacking in the first few chaps. You need to improve from this question: What is the MC's first impression on seeing the new world? Just "dumbfounded" or "awestruck" is not enough. If you think you can give more visualization more on the world , don't be afraid on making an extra chapter just for it. What I say is that, imagine yourself in that world, what do you see and feel in your surrounding?

Xiao_Zuojia
Xiao_ZuojiaLv3

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