Muy bueno)))))((()()))((()))))))))())())())(())))((((()((())())((())))(())()))((()))))(())()()()()()()())))()()())()()())()()()())())()(()())(()())())(()())(()((())(())(())()()(
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Writing style is a train wreck (especially the first 5 five chapters; barely readable): punctuation problems, capitalization problems, too much use of "...", confusing use of braces and brackets (why use this symbols for dialogue/thoughts at all?), lacking dialogue tags or action beats (author writes like a screenwriting). I have no complains for grammar though. Instead of using symbols with unclear meaning (i.e. braces or brackets), just use the standard apostrophe or quotes for thoughts and dialogues. It is your job as an author to make sure that the readers understand whether it is the character's thoughts, mind communications, or dialogues by using the standard format. Do yourself a favor by researching more on proper novel dialogue writing (punctuation too!). Here are other elements I feel that you are lacking: 1. The sense of the MC! That's right, a human has 5 sense, not just sight. How does it smells like when MC arrived in the world? When he drink the water, how does it taste like? Are there any sounds of cracking flames and wave of heat when he got near the burning mountain? If you want to create extraordinary immersion, you should improve this point. 2. What was his name again? Ah, Sam! I almost forgot his name without you mentioning it at all at chapter 10 and only once at chapter 9. 3. World building (visuals) is quite lacking in the first few chaps. You need to improve from this question: What is the MC's first impression on seeing the new world? Just "dumbfounded" or "awestruck" is not enough. If you think you can give more visualization more on the world , don't be afraid on making an extra chapter just for it. What I say is that, imagine yourself in that world, what do you see and feel in your surrounding?
This novel has many different elements such as philosophy , leadership , alchemy, artifacts, high tech etc The problem is Dear author : you don't have to make a single mc experience them all and give us a bit of everything You could very well create many main characters with different backgrounds walking towards the very same goal as the mc Hope you consider my suggestion and tell me your opinion
Very good novel i like the many jokes and the swort of a pervert.馃槀馃槀馃槀馃棥馃毢
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Is a kind of weird story, I don't know. So far I will read it to see if I will love it later on. I love this kind of stuff but... I will follow up with the update.
Muy bueno))((()((((()()(((()((((()(()()()()(()()()()())()())()(((((())(()())()())()()())))))))))(((((()(((((()()()()()()()))(())()))((())((()((((((()(()())()()(()()()()())()(()
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This is a great story. It starts out a little slow cause of all the technical stuff, but it鈥檚 really worth the read, and has really gotten really interesting. You can鈥檛 guess what鈥檚 gonna happen next and it new and refreshing. I hope the author keep this tale going cause I can鈥檛 wait to see what鈥檚 next.
A bit of a slow start it gets better then since twists and turns the concept is fairly interesting and the character has some room to grow.
Hierd Die Grace, what he calls himself anyways awoke in another world, memories hazy about that old life of his. He finds himself with an accuired power. To have anything that existed in the 1900's till 1950's. Guns, warships, planes, food, and military uniforms, using his power; he wishes to govern a village he stumbled upon randomly. Monsters of the winter, wars with countries, with the ever expanding presence of his empire, Hierd battles with humans, monsters, countries, entire continents with armies, navies and magical prowess. A rift in a medieval world; how will Hierd expand his empire? How will he use his power? And more importantly, what of his future? --- "Me awaiting for reviews regarding it, I, right now, do not know where the novel stands. The technical side of the novel may or may not be a peg on the table, and if there are any other problems I've left out. (Also for Royalroad; this text is proof worthy I dare say).
Time. Time is intangible! Or so they said Sadly, we were wrong, time can be bent, bent to another's will. Empires stretching through the annals of another's history, Men of another race fighting in another man's war, technology, unknown to the Natives used to destroy them outright! Men fighting over resources not found in their Universe, troops fighting throughout the ages, brave heroes live and die. this... this is The War That Transcends Timelines! Kyle wit, abducted by a Mighty Empire to spearhead a section of their war is thrown right in the midsts of it! And through this trail be fire and death he shall go down in the annals of everyone's history and be known by enemies and allies as: The Marshall. A story where blood paints the earth, cruelty is common, men in the millions fight, shady politics, multi-layered planning and above all one person to fight against the norm. Comments keep me motivated, the biggest source of happiness for almost any author Per (war)period 100-150 chapters or 100,000-150,000 words. One chapter between one to two days, one guaranteed teaser beforehand. Top 100 Guarantees Two 9-14 Chapters a week For people, there is a discord page: https://discord.gg/EQYQ6CJ
Born as the heir to the world's most powerful family of magicians, with a talent for magic that rivals that of the gods, Adall knew happiness only to have it forcibly ripped away from him shortly thereafter. Overnight, he would be banished from his family and condemned to a pathetic life of wandering. Or so it was supposed to happen... How did he become so powerful? Why am I unable to inflict even the slightest injury on him, even using my most powerful spells? Why must I lose to someone I could have killed with a mere murderous intent not long ago? His new calling will be to instill fear and despair in the hearts of his enemies.
Prince Alexander Herald von Triesenberg was the fourth prince of the Empire of Triesenberg who was banished from the Empire of Triesenberg for the crime that he didn鈥檛 commit. On their way to the island where he would be banished, a powerful storm swept through and sank the ship. Alexander drowned and at the moment, he thought he died from drowning. However, when he opened his eyes, he found himself lying on the shore of a sandy beach and a floating interface before his eyes.
What would happen if history took a different course back in 1898 and the Filipino revolutionaries learned of the secret negotiation between the American and Spanish forces in Manila? How will the future of the Philippines change?
Every day for six years straight, from the time he was twelve, Darius Omen hit an anvil with a hammer ten thousand times a day without stopping. He did not know the reason why he needed to, all he knew was that he had to. Little did he know that hit by hit, strike by strike, his originally meek body was being refined into something that had never been seen before in the history of mankind. In the war against spirits, mankind had little to be proud of. Yet one day a young man entered the battlefield. He dazzled millions and killed even more, all with merely a rusty old hammer than no one could hold or fathom.
Well, here we are. An Alexander III and Nicholas II SI / ISOT. story By Ed of the Pueblos Libres
Crossing into World War II-era Germany, yet only a lowly lieutenant paratrooper with no background, no connections. Am I to drift along with history, enduring setbacks in Britain, getting battered in Crete, freezing in Russia, crouching in Normandy to dodge bombs? No, my ambition still burns bright; why fear leaving a legacy of scorn behind? From military greenhorn to war veteran, Logan underwent a transformation in a few short months that defies imagination. From the astonishing events at Dunkirk to the globally watched Battle of Britain, the roaring Barbarossa in Russia, what's the next target? Logan says: "In...