Muy bueno)))))((()()))((()))))))))())())())(())))((((()((())())((())))(())()))((()))))(())()()()()()()())))()()())()()())()()()())())()(()())(()())())(()())(()((())(())(())()()(
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Writing style is a train wreck (especially the first 5 five chapters; barely readable): punctuation problems, capitalization problems, too much use of "...", confusing use of braces and brackets (why use this symbols for dialogue/thoughts at all?), lacking dialogue tags or action beats (author writes like a screenwriting). I have no complains for grammar though. Instead of using symbols with unclear meaning (i.e. braces or brackets), just use the standard apostrophe or quotes for thoughts and dialogues. It is your job as an author to make sure that the readers understand whether it is the character's thoughts, mind communications, or dialogues by using the standard format. Do yourself a favor by researching more on proper novel dialogue writing (punctuation too!). Here are other elements I feel that you are lacking: 1. The sense of the MC! That's right, a human has 5 sense, not just sight. How does it smells like when MC arrived in the world? When he drink the water, how does it taste like? Are there any sounds of cracking flames and wave of heat when he got near the burning mountain? If you want to create extraordinary immersion, you should improve this point. 2. What was his name again? Ah, Sam! I almost forgot his name without you mentioning it at all at chapter 10 and only once at chapter 9. 3. World building (visuals) is quite lacking in the first few chaps. You need to improve from this question: What is the MC's first impression on seeing the new world? Just "dumbfounded" or "awestruck" is not enough. If you think you can give more visualization more on the world , don't be afraid on making an extra chapter just for it. What I say is that, imagine yourself in that world, what do you see and feel in your surrounding?
This novel has many different elements such as philosophy , leadership , alchemy, artifacts, high tech etc The problem is Dear author : you don't have to make a single mc experience them all and give us a bit of everything You could very well create many main characters with different backgrounds walking towards the very same goal as the mc Hope you consider my suggestion and tell me your opinion
Very good novel i like the many jokes and the swort of a pervert.馃槀馃槀馃槀馃棥馃毢
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Is a kind of weird story, I don't know. So far I will read it to see if I will love it later on. I love this kind of stuff but... I will follow up with the update.
Muy bueno))((()((((()()(((()((((()(()()()()(()()()()())()())()(((((())(()())()())()()())))))))))(((((()(((((()()()()()()()))(())()))((())((()((((((()(()())()()(()()()()())()(()
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This is a great story. It starts out a little slow cause of all the technical stuff, but it鈥檚 really worth the read, and has really gotten really interesting. You can鈥檛 guess what鈥檚 gonna happen next and it new and refreshing. I hope the author keep this tale going cause I can鈥檛 wait to see what鈥檚 next.
A bit of a slow start it gets better then since twists and turns the concept is fairly interesting and the character has some room to grow.
[Explosive and thrilling, read by thousands] He was the Magic Shadow Assassin, he was the King of Soldiers! The favored son of a mysterious special forces unit, he lay low in the metropolis for a mission that could not be disclosed. With a pair of iron fists, he fought through the Demons and Ghosts lurking in every dark corner. With a Military Spike in his hand, he shattered the survival laws of the urban jungle. I am the Warrior King of the jungle; in the city, I, too, am King. The stunning landlady said, "Yang Fei, you scoundrel, pay up the eight hundred you owe me for the rent before you come here bragging!"
Alfonso was a historian of earth who suddenly appear in the body of Alfonso Lockheart, a fallen prince that is the Lord of a formal city known as the wasteland valley, with infertile land and losing the protection of their god, the wasteland valley is land that is destined to be destroyer by the extreme weather and the attacks of beast. Alfonso was in a despair situation; however, he wasn鈥檛 destined to fall in this land, that is because.... [The supreme sovereign system welcomes its new host, with the help of the Greek gods as your allies, you will become the new sovereign of this land!]
WARNING! BOOK CONTAINS SEX/BRUTALITY/RAPE/KILLINGS/GORE/SUBTLE HAREM/ROMANTIC SUBPLOT IF YOU ARE OKAY WITH THE AFOREMENTIONED TAGS, THEN PROCEED WITH CAUTION! Other Ongoing Book: The Immortal's Wine * * * Friction between several big countries escalated in the year 2040 when the world almost ran out of natural resources. In the same year, a terrifying group of unknown individuals surfaced in the world. They numbered more than several hundred thousand, appearing literally out of thin air. To think that such a monstrous group had managed to hide away without anyone's knowledge was inconceivable. The group wreaked havoc in the world with their futuristic weapons. Laser guns, fighter robots, and other advanced weaponry were included in their arsenal. Billions of humans died in the war causing liters of blood to flow in the once flourishing world. The year 2050, Major General Cale Sylvann, a 49-year-old elite and one of the leading figures of Earth Alliance died in battle. "Where am I?" "Calee! Get up or you will be late for school again!" *** Message me on discord: Condemned#0294 Join my discord server to chat with me and other readers on this link: https://discord.gg/JJTF89
James who transmigrated into a chaotic world is only a small figure in the world. Leading a small tribe through the Northern Pass, he knew of what will happen in advance The Empire will fracture, the princes will rebel, and the world will be in chaos! And his tribe will be annihilated and his people will be killed and enslaved! This is not a good era to live. In this chaotic era, the only way to survive is to fight! In blood and fire, he will be baptized into an Overlord that would shake the world! [ The character also has a system that will help him to navigate this new world. Enjoy as he begun building a new kingdom in a chaotic world]
Admiral Graf Spee, December 13, 1939, off Montevideo, wounded and scuttled; Bismarck, May 27, 1941, 400 nautical miles west of Brest, sunk in battle; Scharnhorst, December 26, 1943, off the North Cape of Norway, sunk in battle; Tirpitz, November 12, 1944, Langanes Bay, Trondheim Harbor, capsized after being hit by British Tallboy bombs; Gneisenau, March 23, 1945, Gotenhafen Harbor, scuttled; Admiral Scheer, April 9, 1945, sunk in Kiel Harbor during a British air raid; L眉tzow, May 4, 1945, near Swinem眉nde, scuttled; At the end of the war, only the forlorn Prinz Eugen was docked at a pier in Copenhagen. A young time traveler attempted to change all this, unaware of the myriad hardships ahead on his journey... Confronting history, learning from it! ... American Mahan said: A country cannot simultaneously develop its land power and sea power. The Queen of England said: At sea, I am the boss. The German leader said: We can end the war with just the army and air force. The Americans laughed, for they had become the sole victors of the war. All had become history, but the appearance of a young time traveler caused a new shoot to grow on the Tree of Time. He changed the fate of the Third Reich's downfall, ushering in a new era of naval power...
Karl Wagner is a disgruntled middle-aged instructor at the Bundeswehr Command and Staff College. He finds himself concerned about the direction which the German nation is headed in鈥攋ust as he is killed by a terrorist attack. Only to awaken and find himself reborn as an infant, Bruno von Zehntner, the youngest son of a noble family renowned for its part in the German war industry a few years after the founding of the German Empire. Bruno, as he is now known, desires to rewrite history and ensure the German Empire emerges victorious in the coming century. And in doing so, finds himself entrenched in a world filled with Blood and Iron!
VOLK SMAAAAASSH! Reincarnated with a body like a nuclear bomb, let's turn this magical world into a nuclear wasteland! As someone who loved fighting, Volk Mogger was the most miserable of them all. Born with a small frame, tiny limbs, and underdeveloped muscles, he struggled to grasp anything that was taught to him. He was relegated to merely watching others fight鈥攚hether on the internet, on television, or in real life. One day, while riding in his wheelchair, he was abducted and taken to a strange place for a radioactive experiment, which ultimately failed. However, Volk soon discovered that he had been reincarnated in a magical world as a member of an Orc horde, which was hunted by higher life forms despite merely wanting to establish a land where they could honor their traditions and build a home alongside their symbiotic partners, the Elven Witch races. Suddenly, a system screen appeared before Volk, announcing that he had acquired the power to transform into an invincible radioactive titan who yearns to be the strongest of them all. However, this transformation had a time limit, and to extend that limit, he had to win! But win what? Ding! | Beat up the Orcs thief who stole your spoil and a chance to have a wife! | Reward: Extend the radioactive time to 2 minutes. | Failure: Minus 1 minute. | Current radioactive time: 2 minutes. |
Greg was the son of the smartest and most powerful people in the world. His Mom and Dad being geniuses made advanced technology that boosted the world's development level but also caused more conflict. Follow Greg as he tries and build an Empire in Game of thrones --- --- This Story will be faced paced and include Kingdom building and a Harem The Game of Thrones world will also have a slightly bigger population and bigger armies This is a side project so don't expect fast updates unless readers ask for more.