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Thanks for the review
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Writing style is a train wreck (especially the first 5 five chapters; barely readable): punctuation problems, capitalization problems, too much use of "...", confusing use of braces and brackets (why use this symbols for dialogue/thoughts at all?), lacking dialogue tags or action beats (author writes like a screenwriting). I have no complains for grammar though. Instead of using symbols with unclear meaning (i.e. braces or brackets), just use the standard apostrophe or quotes for thoughts and dialogues. It is your job as an author to make sure that the readers understand whether it is the character's thoughts, mind communications, or dialogues by using the standard format. Do yourself a favor by researching more on proper novel dialogue writing (punctuation too!). Here are other elements I feel that you are lacking: 1. The sense of the MC! That's right, a human has 5 sense, not just sight. How does it smells like when MC arrived in the world? When he drink the water, how does it taste like? Are there any sounds of cracking flames and wave of heat when he got near the burning mountain? If you want to create extraordinary immersion, you should improve this point. 2. What was his name again? Ah, Sam! I almost forgot his name without you mentioning it at all at chapter 10 and only once at chapter 9. 3. World building (visuals) is quite lacking in the first few chaps. You need to improve from this question: What is the MC's first impression on seeing the new world? Just "dumbfounded" or "awestruck" is not enough. If you think you can give more visualization more on the world , don't be afraid on making an extra chapter just for it. What I say is that, imagine yourself in that world, what do you see and feel in your surrounding?
This novel has many different elements such as philosophy , leadership , alchemy, artifacts, high tech etc The problem is Dear author : you don't have to make a single mc experience them all and give us a bit of everything You could very well create many main characters with different backgrounds walking towards the very same goal as the mc Hope you consider my suggestion and tell me your opinion
Very good novel i like the many jokes and the swort of a pervert.😂😂😂🗡🚺
Is a kind of weird story, I don't know. So far I will read it to see if I will love it later on. I love this kind of stuff but... I will follow up with the update.
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Muy bueno)))))((()()))((()))))))))())())())(())))((((()((())())((())))(())()))((()))))(())()()()()()()())))()()())()()())()()()())())()(()())(()())())(()())(()((())(())(())()()(
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This is a great story. It starts out a little slow cause of all the technical stuff, but it’s really worth the read, and has really gotten really interesting. You can’t guess what’s gonna happen next and it new and refreshing. I hope the author keep this tale going cause I can’t wait to see what’s next.
A bit of a slow start it gets better then since twists and turns the concept is fairly interesting and the character has some room to grow.
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Through war, flames, dragons, and utter hell. This is my tale. This is my legacy. I invite you to peer into my past to learn of my pain, my legend, and my triumph. Join me if you are willing to hear the stories of an old man's youth.
When Alec was transported from Earth to a mystical world, he unexpectedly awakened a powerful system that allowed him to continually enhance his abilities. Inheriting his family's Golem magic, Alec rapidly became an unparalleled mage with the System's aid. His Golems were not only highly intelligent but could also self-upgrade by defeating stronger enemies without relying on any magical materials. Alec created numerous unique Golems and formed a formidable Golem army. As the Blood Moon approached, bringing monstrous hordes to attack human cities, Alec and his Golem army stood ready to defend their new world. In this thrilling Litrpg adventure, Alec's legend was about to unfold. ------ Dive into this fast-paced Litrpg adventure where Alec, armed with a powerful system, rapidly and continuously levels up. With the system as cheat, Alec inherits his family's Golem magic, creating a variety of fascinating Golems to aid him in his quests and battles. Expect thrilling encounters as Alec not only builds a formidable Golem army but also forms and trains his own elite team. If you're a fan of solo leveling, you'll love this novel, filled with exciting upgrades, unique Golems, and relentless action.
Watch as Alex Rise Survive in the World of Starship troopers with a Warhammer 40k system, will he be the hero of the Federation or will he die as a nameless Soldier in the Fight against the bugs. And a Battle for the multiverse. Would you like to Know More? Starship troopers timeline (short timeline) Warhammer 40k (currently writing.) Note: I do not own the Content of the Starship troopers Franchise or The Warhammer 40k Content. I have received permission from the Dawn of War Modding Community to use their assets in this fanfic.
James who transmigrated into a chaotic world is only a small figure in the world. Leading a small tribe through the Northern Pass, he knew of what will happen in advance The Empire will fracture, the princes will rebel, and the world will be in chaos! And his tribe will be annihilated and his people will be killed and enslaved! This is not a good era to live. In this chaotic era, the only way to survive is to fight! In blood and fire, he will be baptized into an Overlord that would shake the world! [ The character also has a system that will help him to navigate this new world. Enjoy as he begun building a new kingdom in a chaotic world]
Due to a mysterious transcendent being, United States Marine Corps First Lieutenant Samuel Kim from 2016 is thrown back in time to the year 1775. To make matters worse, he wakes up near Bunker Hill, mere hours before the famed Battle of Bunker Hill begins. Realizing the unique situation he finds himself in, the lieutenant takes the opportunity to change the fate of the battle and ensure an overwhelming American victory. Guided by his "patronizing" "God" and the American revolutionaries, Lieutenant Kim embarks on a journey to help America gain its independence and to ensure the nation upholds its "most promising" ideals from the very beginning. Author's Warning: The story is very rough in the first few chapters (and as some readers pointed out, some parts are laughable, such as "American idealism"). However, the pace and quality of the story improve from chapter four and onwards. You will enjoy the story if you are interested in history, worldbuilding, and the butterfly effect (along with a few badass characters). So even if you are a bit turned off initially, I promise that the story improves quickly. Some early details were accidentally left out, as I wrote the first two chapters a year before writing the third chapter. If you wish to support my writing, feel free to support me on Patreon. All my chapters will be free, but I appreciate a tip! https://www.patreon.com/okmangeez
Chen Feng crossed into the world of lords. Others awakened as Elemental Lords, Martial Lords, Fierce Beast Lords, and Plant Lords... Instead, he became a Spectacle Lord. He obtained the spectacle construction map and automatically built the spectacle. "Build [Stone Formation] and recruit the Great Prophet first!" "Build [Sky Garden] and increase all resources ten thousand times!" "Build [Great Library], gaining domestic, diplomatic, military, and technological talents!" "Build [Roman Colosseum], territorial livability is maxed!" "Build [Terracotta Warriors], 100,000 dead Qin soldiers to defend the territory!" "Build [Forbidden City], gaining 3,000 harem beauties!" Others were still struggling to resist the barbarians' attack. Chen Feng had already turned the wasteland into a museum of wonders! Spectacle might not be a good choice, but he was taking culture to the next level!
Year Date March 30, 2030 On a seemingly normal day across all countries on the face of the earth. A sudden eruption of the crust and a sudden appearance of void rifts-like holes appeared. It was the start of ULTIMA CHANGE, soon monsters arise from those rifts. And it was soon followed by bloodshed. In nearly 5 months 1 hundred million have already perished from the monsters. And with that, countries all over the world have formed their Safe Zones. Building walls that might secure them from monsters. And with the appearance of monsters also the appearance of people with strange powers and abilities.