A bit of a slow start it gets better then since twists and turns the concept is fairly interesting and the character has some room to grow.
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thank you for the review...
Writing style is a train wreck (especially the first 5 five chapters; barely readable): punctuation problems, capitalization problems, too much use of "...", confusing use of braces and brackets (why use this symbols for dialogue/thoughts at all?), lacking dialogue tags or action beats (author writes like a screenwriting). I have no complains for grammar though. Instead of using symbols with unclear meaning (i.e. braces or brackets), just use the standard apostrophe or quotes for thoughts and dialogues. It is your job as an author to make sure that the readers understand whether it is the character's thoughts, mind communications, or dialogues by using the standard format. Do yourself a favor by researching more on proper novel dialogue writing (punctuation too!). Here are other elements I feel that you are lacking: 1. The sense of the MC! That's right, a human has 5 sense, not just sight. How does it smells like when MC arrived in the world? When he drink the water, how does it taste like? Are there any sounds of cracking flames and wave of heat when he got near the burning mountain? If you want to create extraordinary immersion, you should improve this point. 2. What was his name again? Ah, Sam! I almost forgot his name without you mentioning it at all at chapter 10 and only once at chapter 9. 3. World building (visuals) is quite lacking in the first few chaps. You need to improve from this question: What is the MC's first impression on seeing the new world? Just "dumbfounded" or "awestruck" is not enough. If you think you can give more visualization more on the world , don't be afraid on making an extra chapter just for it. What I say is that, imagine yourself in that world, what do you see and feel in your surrounding?
This novel has many different elements such as philosophy , leadership , alchemy, artifacts, high tech etc The problem is Dear author : you don't have to make a single mc experience them all and give us a bit of everything You could very well create many main characters with different backgrounds walking towards the very same goal as the mc Hope you consider my suggestion and tell me your opinion
Very good novel i like the many jokes and the swort of a pervert.😂😂😂🗡🚺
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Is a kind of weird story, I don't know. So far I will read it to see if I will love it later on. I love this kind of stuff but... I will follow up with the update.
Muy bueno))((()((((()()(((()((((()(()()()()(()()()()())()())()(((((())(()())()())()()())))))))))(((((()(((((()()()()()()()))(())()))((())((()((((((()(()())()()(()()()()())()(()
Muy bueno)))))((()()))((()))))))))())())())(())))((((()((())())((())))(())()))((()))))(())()()()()()()())))()()())()()())()()()())())()(()())(()())())(()())(()((())(())(())()()(
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This is a great story. It starts out a little slow cause of all the technical stuff, but it’s really worth the read, and has really gotten really interesting. You can’t guess what’s gonna happen next and it new and refreshing. I hope the author keep this tale going cause I can’t wait to see what’s next.
A Girl who traped in to beast world
In the expansive expanse of existence, there exist realms concealed from the awareness of ordinary folk. Rain Weathers, an unremarkable teenager with average looks, physique, and grades, was leading an uneventful life. However, everything took a dramatic turn one fateful day when he found himself plunged into a vivid dream, a dream that unveiled a world beyond imagination — a world teeming with spirits, monsters, and conversing frogs. This was the Spirit Realm. Transformed into a player by the mysterious machinations of the universe, Rain, alongside other chosen individuals, found themselves thrust into a perilous world. They were tasked with navigating their newfound domain, establishing their territories, all while fending off relentless onslaughts from beasts, defending their territories from other races, and making sure to stay alive for another day. NOTE! NO system. NO cheats. NO overpowered MC. NO tragic past or sob story. NO harem. This is more on Kingdom Building, and War. Just an average boy with no special skills who, through hardship and dedication, transforms from a nobody to a conqueror. If this story interests you, give it a try.
The whole world is subjected to a highly dangerous standardised exam called the Global University Entrance Examination. Answering questions by putting their lives at stake, they would live if they passed the test. Every month the exam will undergo reformation while, occasionally, it is random. . . The story isn't mine nor is it's translation.
Prince Alexander Herald von Triesenberg was the fourth prince of the Empire of Triesenberg who was banished from the Empire of Triesenberg for the crime that he didn’t commit. On their way to the island where he would be banished, a powerful storm swept through and sank the ship. Alexander drowned and at the moment, he thought he died from drowning. However, when he opened his eyes, he found himself lying on the shore of a sandy beach and a floating interface before his eyes.
USS Jimmy Carter is the navy's top submarine. But after being injured on a routine patrol and transferred to Recruit Training Command, Carter meets someone who will profoundly change her life.
Life is difficult enough for a Lirian soldier. Training for ten years, hunting evil deimos, solving crimes, facing powerful weilders, keeping the peace in a tension-filled world, each Lirian soldier has a lot on their plate. It doesn't become any easier if you have to deal with a dark past that looms at every corner. How will Lais Felix and Helen Song, two best friends with tragic pasts, handle life as soldiers while running from their past? Will they manage to escape their tragic beginnings? Or will the past finally catch up to them?
Admiral Graf Spee, December 13, 1939, off Montevideo, wounded and scuttled; Bismarck, May 27, 1941, 400 nautical miles west of Brest, sunk in battle; Scharnhorst, December 26, 1943, off the North Cape of Norway, sunk in battle; Tirpitz, November 12, 1944, Langanes Bay, Trondheim Harbor, capsized after being hit by British Tallboy bombs; Gneisenau, March 23, 1945, Gotenhafen Harbor, scuttled; Admiral Scheer, April 9, 1945, sunk in Kiel Harbor during a British air raid; Lützow, May 4, 1945, near Swinemünde, scuttled; At the end of the war, only the forlorn Prinz Eugen was docked at a pier in Copenhagen. A young time traveler attempted to change all this, unaware of the myriad hardships ahead on his journey... Confronting history, learning from it! ... American Mahan said: A country cannot simultaneously develop its land power and sea power. The Queen of England said: At sea, I am the boss. The German leader said: We can end the war with just the army and air force. The Americans laughed, for they had become the sole victors of the war. All had become history, but the appearance of a young time traveler caused a new shoot to grow on the Tree of Time. He changed the fate of the Third Reich's downfall, ushering in a new era of naval power...
Jhin Herangel was once a prodigy merchant on Earth. Through his talent and luck, he became a billionaire at the young age. He was acknowledged as The Einstein of Business. His ability to command his employees was unparalleled; any task given was done with great efficiency and quality. However, it all changed after he was killed and died with eyes unable to close. When he thought it was the end, he accidentally signed a contract which brought him to a new world. A world where the horns of wars echo all year-round. A place where the myriads of races fought over resources just to survive. [Ding! You have successfully integrated with the Devil King's Legacy] [Ding! Please fill up the System Creation Form] He was given the ability to design his own system but in exchange… He must kill a million creatures within two years. Watch as Jhin Herangel, the one who fell from grace starts his journey in the bloody Chaos World and design a system to accomplish his goals. … [Ding! Discovered the tower of achievements. Do you wish to write your name and your greatest accomplishment?] “Sure!” [Ding! Please pick among your three greatest achievements.] 1. Vomiting in a God's head 2. Vomiting on the enemies' commander. 3. Flirting with the enemies' commander. “Forget it!” Jhin sighed as he reluctantly looked at the magnificent tower.