A bit of a slow start it gets better then since twists and turns the concept is fairly interesting and the character has some room to grow.
Liked by 1 people
thank you for the review...
Writing style is a train wreck (especially the first 5 five chapters; barely readable): punctuation problems, capitalization problems, too much use of "...", confusing use of braces and brackets (why use this symbols for dialogue/thoughts at all?), lacking dialogue tags or action beats (author writes like a screenwriting). I have no complains for grammar though. Instead of using symbols with unclear meaning (i.e. braces or brackets), just use the standard apostrophe or quotes for thoughts and dialogues. It is your job as an author to make sure that the readers understand whether it is the character's thoughts, mind communications, or dialogues by using the standard format. Do yourself a favor by researching more on proper novel dialogue writing (punctuation too!). Here are other elements I feel that you are lacking: 1. The sense of the MC! That's right, a human has 5 sense, not just sight. How does it smells like when MC arrived in the world? When he drink the water, how does it taste like? Are there any sounds of cracking flames and wave of heat when he got near the burning mountain? If you want to create extraordinary immersion, you should improve this point. 2. What was his name again? Ah, Sam! I almost forgot his name without you mentioning it at all at chapter 10 and only once at chapter 9. 3. World building (visuals) is quite lacking in the first few chaps. You need to improve from this question: What is the MC's first impression on seeing the new world? Just "dumbfounded" or "awestruck" is not enough. If you think you can give more visualization more on the world , don't be afraid on making an extra chapter just for it. What I say is that, imagine yourself in that world, what do you see and feel in your surrounding?
This novel has many different elements such as philosophy , leadership , alchemy, artifacts, high tech etc The problem is Dear author : you don't have to make a single mc experience them all and give us a bit of everything You could very well create many main characters with different backgrounds walking towards the very same goal as the mc Hope you consider my suggestion and tell me your opinion
Very good novel i like the many jokes and the swort of a pervert.ππππ‘πΊ
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Is a kind of weird story, I don't know. So far I will read it to see if I will love it later on. I love this kind of stuff but... I will follow up with the update.
Muy bueno))((()((((()()(((()((((()(()()()()(()()()()())()())()(((((())(()())()())()()())))))))))(((((()(((((()()()()()()()))(())()))((())((()((((((()(()())()()(()()()()())()(()
Muy bueno)))))((()()))((()))))))))())())())(())))((((()((())())((())))(())()))((()))))(())()()()()()()())))()()())()()())()()()())())()(()())(()())())(()())(()((())(())(())()()(
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This is a great story. It starts out a little slow cause of all the technical stuff, but itβs really worth the read, and has really gotten really interesting. You canβt guess whatβs gonna happen next and it new and refreshing. I hope the author keep this tale going cause I canβt wait to see whatβs next.
Jhin Herangel was once a prodigy merchant on Earth. Through his talent and luck, he became a billionaire at the young age. He was acknowledged as The Einstein of Business. His ability to command his employees was unparalleled; any task given was done with great efficiency and quality. However, it all changed after he was killed and died with eyes unable to close. When he thought it was the end, he accidentally signed a contract which brought him to a new world. A world where the horns of wars echo all year-round. A place where the myriads of races fought over resources just to survive. [Ding! You have successfully integrated with the Devil King's Legacy] [Ding! Please fill up the System Creation Form] He was given the ability to design his own system but in exchangeβ¦ He must kill a million creatures within two years. Watch as Jhin Herangel, the one who fell from grace starts his journey in the bloody Chaos World and design a system to accomplish his goals. β¦ [Ding! Discovered the tower of achievements. Do you wish to write your name and your greatest accomplishment?] βSure!β [Ding! Please pick among your three greatest achievements.] 1. Vomiting in a God's head 2. Vomiting on the enemies' commander. 3. Flirting with the enemies' commander. βForget it!β Jhin sighed as he reluctantly looked at the magnificent tower.
Well, here we are. An Alexander III and Nicholas II SI / ISOT. story By Ed of the Pueblos Libres
The Gutu Empire, a behemoth that stretched across the majority of the Western Continent, dominated all in its path. The Gutu themselves were a race of mighty beings, capable to destroying mountains and splitting oceans with a wave of their hands. A billionaire prodigy from Earth dies in his sleep and wakes up in the body of a child in a Gutu village. He quickly adjusts and slowly begins to formulate a plan to do what he had once done before. Take over the world! This time, not with money, nor with intellect, but pure might! In a world where demons, strange creatures, mages, vampires and all sorts of insanities run amok, Takunda keeps a calm mind, as his vision sees nothing but the top he desires! Watch the legend that swept the Western Continent of its feet, the story of the ultimate cultivator: The Smoke That Thunders! ____________ Will have at least 2000 chapters! At least 5 chapters a week! Any and all support isd welcome! Here is the other book Solitary Sword Sovereign in this multiverse with 70+ chapters https://creativenovels.com/novel/solitary-sword-sovereign/ https://www.patreon.com/theonionjunktion
"Gene Mage Ο : BOSS SIDE CHARACTER" is a novel combo character, embodying both the traits of a side character and a villain, ultimately becoming the boss side character. S1 : Side character surf: THE END S2 : BOSS SIDE CHARACTER ( DESTROYER GALARCH VILLAINOUS ERA UPCOMING ) side character (zen ) from the Blue planet reopens his eyes inside the womb of the royal Night Rider family matriarch. "Damn it, in a population of billions of beings and more than a hundred races, why do I have to be born as one of the 100th sons of a hero , is transmigrator from Earth, reincarnated a century ago before me , defeated the demon king, titled by a hero king, on top married hundreds of wives? 100 step-moms . βWhat do I do now? Nothing is left for me? Advance mage Civilization has already surpass comman Earth tech βzen night rider questions, pondering the purpose of his existence. "Since i am not Hero , then what ?villain or just a side character?" he wonders as the story takes unexpected twists. Observing the world, Zen come to know "What's happening to this world? Besides the old man, there are more than one protagonist with systems and golden fingers." He reflects on the inequality, "Worst of all, they have golden fingers and systems aiding their progress. Meanwhile, as an eighteen-year-old, I'm left doing push-ups and pull-ups, gaining only a few abs. What can I do with eight abs? Seduce and steal the protagonist's women?" Lost in unexpected plots and twists, how our side character will survive in a world of advance magic extracted from gene sequences inside cells. Is he destined to remain a side character, crushed? Or will he turn himself into a monstrous villain? (Notes: The whole story is in two phases. In the current phase, Zen Night Rider is living life as a side character, so please be patient while reading till the thrilling awakening of the villainous Boss side character.) Warning: Hero lovers, refrain from this novel. S 1 Add your library for an experience of slice of magic gene journeys : - Advanced Magic Society - Warmachine - Magic Academy Adventure - VAMPIRES / SHADOW - Multiple Protagonists and Female Leads - Genomes magic codes - magic v/s tech war S2 upcoming - Cosmic GALARCH / galactic creature war - Jurassic mage tribe - 100 Race battle ( ELF , Undead , Ragnarok, BARBARIC , ORG , VAMPIRE , SHADOW , WOLF , DINOSAUR ETC) - DESTROYER SIDE OF ZEN The story has three arcs: - ongoing Arc: SIDE CHARACTER SUFFERING ( complete By Next Sunday In mass Release) Requirements to start volume 2 Release: atleast one golden ticket support and goft Or 100 comments + 100 power stone
James who transmigrated into a chaotic world is only a small figure in the world. Leading a small tribe through the Northern Pass, he knew of what will happen in advance The Empire will fracture, the princes will rebel, and the world will be in chaos! And his tribe will be annihilated and his people will be killed and enslaved! This is not a good era to live. In this chaotic era, the only way to survive is to fight! In blood and fire, he will be baptized into an Overlord that would shake the world! [ The character also has a system that will help him to navigate this new world. Enjoy as he begun building a new kingdom in a chaotic world]
One year later...Diary Entry 'Tomorrow I will finally fulfill my destiny. Father says I've made the most progress he's ever seen a Scorpion make. I've killed without hesitation and he believes I am ready to rule his kingdom. He says the demon within me is bloodthirsty, cruel, and precise. Exactly what his people want and need in a leader. I've not forgiven him for what he's done but he has satisfied a void in my soul that I've always had but never acknowledged. He says my final challenge will be difficult....a test of both my mental and physical strength. I will be ready'. A.J.
USS Jimmy Carter is the navy's top submarine. But after being injured on a routine patrol and transferred to Recruit Training Command, Carter meets someone who will profoundly change her life.
βThere is this aching feeling, it pains my heart and fries my already half-human and half-machine heart. I awoke in a world of death and destruction, I am the only survivor. But this may be a blessing, this new world, this world that boasts magic, maybe I will finally bring salvation to my world, even if it causes millions of lives,β One woke with amnesia underneath the shattered remains of a once prosperous human civilization. He remembered nothing, his past or the events that happened that caused the world to become as it was. He was no longer purely human, he woke to find himself a hybrid between a man and a machine. But amid the radioactive dunes and lifeless expanse of the Earth, a lone machine network survived the disaster. After discovering that he controlled them, he set out on one goal: Rebuild. But how can he fully rebuild? For the Earth once had life but now was barren, not even bacteria survived. Until the wormhole appeared a decade later. But he was not alone, when he awoke, a voice rang in his head, who was it? It was his friend, a friend from the past. Although he does not remember her name, he still felt how important she was before even if he has lost all his humanity and memories, her name was Hailey. Follow her as she guides One a decade after he awakes, the both of them will form the most powerful machine leaders who will ever walk in the face of the two worlds. Their story will start a decade into Oneβs rebuilding, he now controlled a vast network of machines around the planet Earth, all focused in the effort of rebuilding the world towards its former glory, there was only one thing missing, an essential attribute which differentiated Earth from all other known planets, life. But everything changed when a wormhole opened, a breach within the fabric of space and time, opening a pathway between Earth and a world of fantasy! Follow One as he and his Empire explores this new mystical world full of elves, goblins, orcs, dwarves, ogres, humans, kingdoms, empires and magic! His goal of restoring life may be within his grasps. But that does not mean there wonβt be opposition. There will be battles, wars and calamities, millions will perish in the onslaught that will soon follow. Especially, when One discovers that the new world held the secrets of the past. He will face Deities and powerful foes, will he prevail? New weapons he will smith and countries he shall wipe out, for he is, One. ----- Discord: https://discord.gg/HrTg3T8