Muy bueno))((()((((()()(((()((((()(()()()()(()()()()())()())()(((((())(()())()())()()())))))))))(((((()(((((()()()()()()()))(())()))((())((()((((((()(()())()()(()()()()())()(()
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Writing style is a train wreck (especially the first 5 five chapters; barely readable): punctuation problems, capitalization problems, too much use of "...", confusing use of braces and brackets (why use this symbols for dialogue/thoughts at all?), lacking dialogue tags or action beats (author writes like a screenwriting). I have no complains for grammar though. Instead of using symbols with unclear meaning (i.e. braces or brackets), just use the standard apostrophe or quotes for thoughts and dialogues. It is your job as an author to make sure that the readers understand whether it is the character's thoughts, mind communications, or dialogues by using the standard format. Do yourself a favor by researching more on proper novel dialogue writing (punctuation too!). Here are other elements I feel that you are lacking: 1. The sense of the MC! That's right, a human has 5 sense, not just sight. How does it smells like when MC arrived in the world? When he drink the water, how does it taste like? Are there any sounds of cracking flames and wave of heat when he got near the burning mountain? If you want to create extraordinary immersion, you should improve this point. 2. What was his name again? Ah, Sam! I almost forgot his name without you mentioning it at all at chapter 10 and only once at chapter 9. 3. World building (visuals) is quite lacking in the first few chaps. You need to improve from this question: What is the MC's first impression on seeing the new world? Just "dumbfounded" or "awestruck" is not enough. If you think you can give more visualization more on the world , don't be afraid on making an extra chapter just for it. What I say is that, imagine yourself in that world, what do you see and feel in your surrounding?
This novel has many different elements such as philosophy , leadership , alchemy, artifacts, high tech etc The problem is Dear author : you don't have to make a single mc experience them all and give us a bit of everything You could very well create many main characters with different backgrounds walking towards the very same goal as the mc Hope you consider my suggestion and tell me your opinion
Very good novel i like the many jokes and the swort of a pervert.ππππ‘πΊ
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Is a kind of weird story, I don't know. So far I will read it to see if I will love it later on. I love this kind of stuff but... I will follow up with the update.
Muy bueno)))))((()()))((()))))))))())())())(())))((((()((())())((())))(())()))((()))))(())()()()()()()())))()()())()()())()()()())())()(()())(()())())(()())(()((())(())(())()()(
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This is a great story. It starts out a little slow cause of all the technical stuff, but itβs really worth the read, and has really gotten really interesting. You canβt guess whatβs gonna happen next and it new and refreshing. I hope the author keep this tale going cause I canβt wait to see whatβs next.
A bit of a slow start it gets better then since twists and turns the concept is fairly interesting and the character has some room to grow.
In the year 556 of the Runtallian Calendar, a war broke out in the eastern frontier of the Kingdom of Runtallia between the eastern overlord, Duke Gaverone Walruse of Regalia, and the barbarian chief-thane known as Dariun Drunzelle of the Shiradonii tribe, one of the Four Great Tribes of Norsmund, a nation that borders the Kingdom, deemed to be the land of brutes and savages. As the Duke of Regalia marches with his army to defend the disputed land of Kurlon, the barbarians have taken such an opportune moment to launch another incursion near the eastern border of Regalia near the town of Flendle, with the intention of dividing his army. However, despite accepting the town and the surrounding local lords' territories as lost cause in the war in favor of Kurlonβ a newly discovered territory bountiful with veins of iron and other mineralsβ the Duke tasks his third son, Lord Velmund Walruse, along with his retinue, the Order of the Raven Knights, to fend off the attack. Now faced with the plight of defending the border town against a 5,000-strong Norsmundi army with his few yet skilled knights, along with an ill-equipped and undermanned militia, Lord Velmund has no choice but to fulfill his duty as a noble, relying upon his wits and his few but capable retainers to survive his first battle at the tender age of sixteen summers and winters. Contrary to his timid, youthful, and innocent appearance, however, lies his sly and scheming nature, evident by his fondness of dark magical arts specializing in illusion spells. Nevertheless, he himself has no idea of what he is capable of, and what he is destined to become. Meanwhile, further east at the frontier with Norsmund, a plot hatches to ensnare the Duke within the clutches of his treacherous vassals. Not only his life is threatened by these schemes, but his sons Theo and Varus as well. With this scheme put into motion, the Duke and Velmund's siblings, Varus and Theo, would taste fate's twisted humor, with the former meeting his demise in a blaze of glory amidst the field of battle, and the latter two vanishing in incidents shrouded by mysteries. With the death of the patriarch of Regalia and his heirs' disappearance, the young lord who was initially third in line for the succession of the ducal seat became its temporary occupant. And thus, the tale of him and his court beginsβ¦ CHAPTER RELEASE: January 1st at 12:00 UTC
The legions of rome were about to go back to their camp after recently winning another battle when a flash of light from the sky blinded everyone, next thing they knew there is mist around them and 13 dwarves and an old man with a pointy hat running towards them with a horde of goblins chasing them. Watch the Legions of Rome fight their enemies as once again they make the world tremble as they participate in earth shaking battles, Battle of the six army, Battle of Helms deep, Battle of Minas Tirith, and Battle of the Black Gate. Cover Art Credit: Leo Karpacz Map of middle earth: https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/506021708127327099/ I do not own any characters and images in the story.
A group of Spec Ops operators are saved from the jaws of death by the intervention of the Supreme Law of Time. After waking from a coma, the team's leader finds himself bound to an alien symbiote. And thanks to the symbiote, the team is thrust into the hidden world of Will awakeners; individuals who use their Will to harness superhuman abilities. As if that wasn't bad enough, the team accidentally uncover a conspiracy by a powerful shadow organisation which then puts them in the central position in the fight against the organisation and their nefarious plans for the world. Thus, begins the journey of the Soldiers chosen by Time!
(please check out my new book: Gang Lord of the Heavenly God) "If I can't conquer your heart, I will conquer your land." βMiguel "Quit shouting Old man! This genius shall show you how it is done. Done pretty well! Just like that pretty over there." βArgus *** Miguel, an Ex-General falsely accused and is sentenced to death, transmigrated inside the body of a former young master, turned to a slave: Argus. The era is at the age of conquest, a millennia before Miguel's country is colonized. During Miguel's takeover, however, Argus is still alive! Argus regained his control against Miguel's spirit, and they began to swap. Now the two are intertwined. Two souls, two fates, under one path. βDOMINATION! They come to an agreement and declares to conquer the world. A Glorious Veiled Saga that re-writes history! *** Photo Cover is owned and drawn by: Ian Sta. Maria Follow his page on FB: the art of ian sta. maria IG: takbotikbalang This is my first novel on this platform, Nice meeting you!
James who transmigrated into a chaotic world is only a small figure in the world. Leading a small tribe through the Northern Pass, he knew of what will happen in advance The Empire will fracture, the princes will rebel, and the world will be in chaos! And his tribe will be annihilated and his people will be killed and enslaved! This is not a good era to live. In this chaotic era, the only way to survive is to fight! In blood and fire, he will be baptized into an Overlord that would shake the world! [ The character also has a system that will help him to navigate this new world. Enjoy as he begun building a new kingdom in a chaotic world]
The whole world is subjected to a highly dangerous standardised exam called the Global University Entrance Examination. Answering questions by putting their lives at stake, they would live if they passed the test. Every month the exam will undergo reformation while, occasionally, it is random. . . The story isn't mine nor is it's translation.
James, a brilliant mechanical engineer and passionate history enthusiast, loses his life in a tragic house fireβonly to find himself in a mysterious world as the ruler of an island nation. Armed with his modern knowledge and unwavering ambition, James embarks on a bold mission to industrialize his kingdom and build an empire on which the sun never sets.
Alfonso was a historian of earth who suddenly appear in the body of Alfonso Lockheart, a fallen prince that is the Lord of a formal city known as the wasteland valley, with infertile land and losing the protection of their god, the wasteland valley is land that is destined to be destroyer by the extreme weather and the attacks of beast. Alfonso was in a despair situation; however, he wasnβt destined to fall in this land, that is because.... [The supreme sovereign system welcomes its new host, with the help of the Greek gods as your allies, you will become the new sovereign of this land!]