Game of Thrones: Victor Di Natale

This is a good read, but please lessen the information dump

This is a great story but the massive info dumps really distract from the story. I think a good 60% percent of the novel could be deleted with little effect. NOTE to Author - If you want to add all of the additional info maybe highlight the start and end of the section if it doesn't actually have any impact on the story so readers can decide if they want to skip or not. Personally, I almost gave up on the story when reading all the Roman Empire and army info dump// I'm glad I didn't though That said I thought The Gladiator bit was very interesting. So I would really recommend thinking of a way to let the readers decide if they want to read all the background information so as to not put the uninterested ones off what is looking to be a great story

This is a typical story about a genius reborn who does great things from infancy. The best thing about this story is the dialogs between the characters and the place where all the events are happening at the moment, usually this place and city is almost unheard of in other stories, this is very good. But the story itself becomes boring as you read, there are no interesting events, no interesting plot twists, no intrigue and many other things we love Game of Thrones for. We read about a merchant/inventor who is described by the author as a genius of "intrigue" and "politics" and all that (from a child, currently 10 years old). The whole story is too characterless, childish, the main character has everything going for him, he gets no resistance in his "life". There is no feeling that the protagonist lives in the Middle Ages, there is no that feeling of dark fantasy that George R. R. Martin offered us. In general, to all those who just want to read about a genius reborn, who from diapers does great things and already from a small age creates a business, where the story is shown as a cartoon for teenagers. I recommend it to you without reservation. For those who want a serious read, look for something else, don't waste your time.

Its an alright story, and could probably rank in top 10 of all GoT fanfics. However there are several issues that make it hard to read. If you want a decent enough GoT Fanfic to kill time I would suggest it. Pros: Fast updates: 44 chapters in 8 days is pretty fast. Different story line: Its nice to see a different story line from someone related to targaryens, or starks. As well as fact it takes place in a city you barely see in shows/books. Cons: Info Dumps: Most obvious of them is the info dumps, as others have said you should add them as auxiliary chapters, they end up ruining any immersion and make you want to skip through. Reached chapter 15 and I think only 3 chapters so far have been not info dumps. Then you get into chapters that are not info dumps chapters, and you find more info dumps. Chapter 15 alone was like 6-7 paragraphs explaining what the dothraki were, which could easily be explained in 1-2 paragraphs. Grammar: The grammar is alright for most of it ,but there are quite a few mispellings, and other grammar issues in each chapters. While not a big deal, it still causes you to lose immersion when a name is spelled one way and then not spelled right the next.

It's not a bad story, but the author dumps a lot of information that could simply be placed in auxiliary chapters.But I recommend reading in general, the author shows potential for growth.

Keep the good work going ❤️ I always like a situation whereby the author is carrying the readers along ❤️ what a great story 🤜🏽🤛🏽

Love the story. It has potential. Although I would like the progress to pick up a moderate pace but anyways we can't always have what we can't, overall it's a good read. Hope author doesn't drop and continue updating it

Wirklich eine meiner absoluten lieblings Fanfictions.... Ich glaube das ist der einzige Roman bei dem ich daraufhin fieber, dass ein neues Kapitel erscheint. SG aus Österreich und viel Glück fürs zukünftige Schrieben PS: Die ganze Kritik bezüglich Info-Dumbing ist veraltet, da der Autor dies bereits überarbeitet hat.

One of the best story so far for my ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I am loving the plot. Please continue the story and try to develop his infuence. I don’t want the MC to rule just Westros I want to see him grow financially and militarily so strong that people respectfully fear him

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one of the best game of thrones fanfics so far, and even though it's not finished yet, I would still recommend everyone to at least give it a good try before they make any opinions about it

Something that I have always wondered is if the Valyrians conquered the continent of Essos because all the noble families of Valyria died? It just doesn't make sense, who ruled the big cities in Essos? the slaves? Weren't there dragon lords ruling those cities? Didn't the families of Valyria have their own territories?

this story has some pros and cons. The pros are it has good writing quality, especially for a webnovel fic being written by a non-native. you wont lose brain cells reading. now onto the cons. the fanfic is highly unrealistic with a child doing and having influence they shouldn't and no one finds this strange. if you are like me, you would have been attracted to the mc being a chemist, but the MC barely uses his chemistry knowledge at all. with what little that is used is not hyped up enough. and finally, the last con is the god awful filler! the filler itself isnt the issue entirely, the author is unable to organically introduce the original worldbuilding into the story. instead it is more like a wiki of character and world descriptions. there is little character or realism injected into the story. so all in all, if you like a story with good worldbuilding that follows the timeline of asoiaf along with realism, then dont expect too much when reading. this story has a great concept with good grammar but subpar execution.

so I have read a little bit and it's pretty good but I think the one thing that really stands out is that the author is listening to reviews about problems for example the info dumps when most would just get mad

I enjoyed the story so far and I hope it gets better and better, keep up the good work[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=update]

So a quick review here: 1. The story is so far decent but moves slowly and author is determined to make a wonderboy who makes miracles before he is even in his teens (as of ch. 78 mc is still 10 or 11 years old, cant remember which). Info dumps are a thing, author likes to give alot of background info about people or places that he mentioned just once in a certain chapter to never really appear again. There are certainly some interesting facts that he presents, but as it isn’t relevant to plot most of the time, it gets somewhat frustrating. 2. Writing quality is decent but author doesn’t have an editor or proofreader so spelling errors and grammatical errors are present in almost every chapter. 3. The charcaters retain their original personalities, but there is also a touch of authors own impression of them wether intentional or not. In conclusion a decent fanfic you should give a try. Also a bonus point that the MC isn’t a westerosi, I haven’t read many fanfics where MC is a native to Essos.

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been putting off reading it as I was skeptical. it turned out to be a decent read though and encourage others to give it a chance. it has a lot of information being passed on through the chapters that gets annoying but it's not a bad thing at least. the character design could use some work too but it has a lot more potential than many of the stories out there. good luck author and thank you.