DragonField
Story is confusing and has a lot of plot holes. Despite the same character being different diensions/times, the character development makes no sense. Unless you already have written all of the plots for marvel, the character developments, his thoughts etc, the DC character makes no sense. Simply having the DC character react in a certain way based on a development in the marvel past we just read about is not how realistic. I have tried reading just the marvel and DC aspects seperately however it still does not flow. Dont want to even get into the whole intelligence thing.... I think their could be potential in the style of writing, however their is no sense of time difference between the marvel timeline MC and the MC DC timeline. Maybe if the marvel side was planned out thoroughly or wrItten beforehand it could work.
He has training and superpowers gets easily handle by a tief ......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Gotta be honest man, nobody cares about the BT part of the story. When we read novels, fanfics,...etc. what we care about is character and story development, a few past chapters to explain certain details are fine, but jumping between the past and the present constantly breaks the flow of the story. I mean, why in the living sh*t should I care about Gwen Stacy? We all know he left her behind, she doesn't contribute anything to the story, Peter Parker too. What's point of having them? Nothing. They don't change the character in anyway, and any excitement about possible power-ups in those BT is completely snuffed because we all know what powers his present self has. It's not a good way to keep readers interested.
I can only say that auhtor writing consistently is the good part in this. Convoluted writing style, convoluted concepts, and a convoluted pattern of presenting past and present in alternate chapters is the hallmark of this story. MC is also a messed up individual who's actively running away from a more happier lifestyle. Author makes him run away from everything good.
I saw another version of this, not sure if this is you re-write but i feel like you need to rework this. I understand this is your story but I think there are things you can improve. 1. Why AT/BT? Its more of a stylized choice and many people commented on this but I think you should've wrote 2 different stories MCU/DCU. or have an chronological order (finish BT then go for AT) or have bits of BT flashbacks while AT is happening. Its really hard to read one chapter after another when they are both different stories. 2. Figure out ur MC more, flesh him out. I know you have this whole backstory for him in MCU and DCU but even near the end of the most recent chapters, I still don't know what he wants. He had powers in Marvel and he didn't want to be a hero, he was just obsessed with DC. You wrote him in Marvel so he can get certain items and skills for him but he could've just been in DC in the first place and still have all those things. Which leads to 3 3. Marvel is unneeded, honestly I mostly read AT and mostly BT because well DC is where it's at, the meat and I felt like all those things happening in Marvel made no differences to his character at all. *SPOILER* If he was going to be "dark" (artificially) as in hey the memory of this MC is him doing bad shit why not make him do it in real time in DC in the beginning. He can have moral dilemma or your "black spirit" while he's doing his sorta Spiderman thing. Generally I felt like if you kept going with AT, splash a few BT then it would've been more completed. 4. Lastly, honestly your doing a great Job, I criticize cause its good and its worth it to be better. Its your story, feel free to do whatever you want. But if you to make a more coherent and engaging story i recommend just narrow it down and hone in on what's good so far. I get you night have a big thing for marvel and DC together and there's this epic story, maybe I'm not seeing it or I feel like tis too big of a project. But I hope you keep up the good work and maybe think about reformatting it.