Sussy Baka in MHA

(A/N: Edited Chapter)

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...

And so, my life ended.

It was quite a shock, to be honest. One moment, I felt fresh as lettuce. The next, I was lying lifeless on the pavement.

Ah, the fragility of life…

It really put one to reflect about it... but not me. Nope. I was already dead, and thinking about life felt like a waste of time when I didn't even have one anymore.

Besides, I could almost hear those people who used to say, "You have no life!" while I played certain games. Bet they're laughing their asses off in their chairs right now, basking in the irony.

Oh, the irony.

Anyway, enough about them. Let's focus on the real question here: Why am I so calm about my own death? Calm enough to make jokes about it, no less.

Did my incredible and peerless sense of humor show up post-mortem?

No, wait, I didn't have anything like that.

Then maybe it was a hidden talent all along, only to awaken now that I'm—well... dead.

If that's the case, I've gotta say—terrible timing. What's the point of a killer sense of humor if there's no one left to laugh at my jokes?

...Then again, in a moment like this, humor might be all I have. It might even make the situation a bit more... Lively.

Hahaha... ha...

...Man, this sucks. All those years of effort—gone.

To top it off, now that I'm dead, only an uncertain future awaits me. 

How can I still make jokes in this situation?

I don't even know what will happen to me now!

Will I enter into a cycle of reincarnation? Will a God come and judge me? Or am I gonna get dragged into some devil's dingy apartment in hell?

'Let's hope it at least has Wi-Fi.'

Oops, and there goes another joke...

Am I a comedic genius, or just losing my sanity? Honestly, if it's the latter, then this place is basically hell already... Despite its unconventional appearance.

After all, I'm sure that if I spend enough time here, this place will truly turn into hell at some point.

What does it look like, you ask?

Well, it certainly looks nothing like heaven, hell, or nirvana.

Nope, I'm floating in what looks like deep space.

Imagine stars scattered around you, surrounded by an endless void, but no Earth, no sun, no moon—just an empty expanse with tiny pinpricks of light.

Nothing else.

If someone were to float in space, completely alone, that person would see the same as I. Though, as I said, without the solar system around.

Weirdly, however, it was not cold.

Then again, I don't have a body to feel anything. Perks of being dead, I guess?

If I did have a body, I'd probably freeze to death. Or so the movies say.

Who knows if that's true.

"..."

...

..

.

Ahem.

"..."

The place was also pretty lonely.

It made me wonder if this was what astronauts felt like when in space.

Endless and deafening silence.

Hmm?

Wait. Hold up. Maybe I'm turning into one of those "ancestors in the form of stars" people talk about in movies. You know, watching over my loved ones from above.

Was I in the process of becoming something like a star or something then?

Cuz I didn't really feel like a star.

Besides, who would I even watch? I didn't have a girlfriend, let alone kids. Heck, I can't even see Earth from here.

So, let alone observing my descendency, there wasn't even a thing to observe here.

Even my body seemed to have ceased to exist, and now only my mind was left. So, even observing my own body was out of the question.

Actually, this might be the first time I've found my own body "lacking." Hehehe...

Damnit, I'm losing it. I need to breathe!

Oh, right, no lungs.

Hehehe...

RAAAAAHHHHH! Come on, God, if you're going to show up, do it already! I can feel my sanity slipping away. Why else would I keep saying stupid things one after another?

-Tzzzzz...-

Aaaaah!!!

The fucker actually actually showed up!

While I was spiraling in my own thoughts, an enormous figure emerged from a swirling portal right in front of me. It was surrounded by an eerie, black mist and approached with a steady, ominous pace, as if floating through space required zero effort.

At first, it was hard to make out its shape, but as it came closer...

... Oh no.

... Oh, god... have mercy on me...

'What the fuck is THAT?!'

When the figure in front of me was finally revealed, I let out a horrified mental scream as I recognized the lifeform before me.

Standing before me was something straight out of my nightmares—or maybe my Steam library.

It had two short legs, a curved, armless red body, floating hands, and a strange backpack strapped to its back.

That's right. I was face-to-face with a crewma—

-Swish!-

Oh, it also has a knife.

Nevermind, I suppose it's an Impostor then.

After mentally correcting my previous statement, I glanced at the mysterious entity in the shape of a chubby murderer from a game that boomed during the pandemic, and wondered what its purpose in coming here would be.

Did it want to kill me, then? Could I even die again? Is there a way to get super-dead?

It had a knife, so surely it could use it for something.

Am I actually gonna get stabbed to Super-Death?

'Damn.'

Before I could find an answer to my frantic questions, the Impostor spoke—or at least made some kind of otherworldly noise.

It was as if it was... Telling me something.

『Vð¢åvêrµñ† mê Ðåêmðñïµm, ê† £å¢†µ§ §µm ïllï§ µñµ§...』

Hmm...

『... ðmñïå, µ† åÐ §ê þêr†ïñêrê†, þðþµlå†ï §µñ†. Ävårï ¢rê况råê... ïÐêð êï§ £å¢†µ§ §µm Ðïåßðlµ§. Ú† Ðê§ïñêrê§ ðþµm §ïñê £ïñê £åmêm.』

Aha...

『†åmêñ ïñ £ïñê, ê†ïåm §ï Ðïåßðlµ§ £å¢†µ§ §µm, êð§ þrðhïßêrê ñðñ þð†µï... Vêñïêñ†, hðmð, mµñе§ qµï ñïhïl þð†ê§† ñï§ï vïÐêrê, §ï¢µ† Ðêvðråñ† ðmñïå qµåê ïßï §µñ†, µ† ¢ðmêÐåñ†.』

I see…

『Ègð 嵆êm, ïñ mê ïþ§ð, ñðñ §ïñåm êð§ ålïµÐ Ðêvðrårê... Hïñ¢ ꧆, hðmð, vïñÐêx m굧 £ïê§.』

Got it.

『... ÐꧢêñÐê§, þrðþµgñå†ðr m굧, ê† ïllð§ ðþþrïmê§...』

Understandable.

『... £å¢ µ† †ïmêåñ† þråê§êñ†ïåm mêåm ï†êrµm...』

Profound words indeed.

... In case it wasn't obvious, I had absolutely no idea what it was saying. However, since I wasn't sure whether it would kill me (again) if I was not to nod my head at it, I just agreed to whatever the guy said to make it pleased.

After all, it was better to be cautious around this guy. It had a knife.

『̆êrµm grå†ïå§, hµmåñð...』

Suddenly, as I was nodding my head absentmindedly, the giant impostor nodded its head at me as it uttered some more unknown words, and then turned around before floating back into the portal, vanishing as mysteriously as it had appeared.

… Leaving me alone once again in the middle of the void, fated to float amidst pure darkness for the rest of eternity.

...

Huh... Well. That was a thing.

...

-Swooooooosh...!!!-

Huh?!

However, while I was still processing what had happened, another portal appeared beneath me, swirling violently and sucking me in.

'What the hell?! Did I upset that guy somehow?'

I instinctively tried to run, but... oh yeah. No legs. Hehehe.

Why am I making jokes at a time like this?!

Thanks to my lack of bodily parts to make a run for it, I wasn't long before I started being pulled towards it, the distance between me and it shortening with each passing second regardless of my efforts to do something to prevent it.

-Sigh...-

So, seeing no escape, I let out a long mental sigh of resignation.

'Well, whatever, it was a good afterlife…'

My short afterlife had been an experience of all time, to say the least.

I'd floated in the void.

Met an Impostor.

Heard a language that sounded like a cursed computer glitch.

-Sigh...-

Truly, I had lived a blessed afterlife...

-Whoooooooosh...!!-

As I reached that conclusion, I saw that I was about to get sucked into the portal, and closed my metaphisical eyes if I had them, accepting my fate and waiting for Death 2.0 to come.

'Take me... Sweet death.'

-Zooooom...!!-

...

..

.

'No.'

However, as the portal was about to pull me in completely, a primal instinct took over me, flaring a burst of defiance within my soul.

With rage flowing through my veins, I glared into the endless void and screamed with all my nonexistent might against the one behind this unfounded attack.

"IMPOSTOOOOOR!!"

I wasn't sure if the sound came out—no mouth, after all—but the intention was there.

Hopefully, that impostor heard it and felt the anger and resentment from my last moments.

'If I become a ghost, be sure that I will haunt you for the rest of my life!'

...

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|Somewhere else, sometime later...|

...

Huh...

...

I said that I would haunt him if I became a ghost... But what is this?

My hands, which didn't use to be there after I died, were now back. Though, now in a very small version...

In fact, my whole body felt tiny, shrunken to an almost comical size.

...

..

.

'Would it be...?'

With a sinking feeling, I let out a sigh, this time not a mental one.

Yeah, that much was enough to understand what was happening... To a certain extent at least.

Though, I still couldn't help but ask myself...

'Why the hell am I a baby?'

...

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-To be continued-

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