Zbara_1577

I just don't read multi chapter matches only the final, and I haven't noticed anything

really appreciate the rewrite, 100x better. The moments of introspection mainly works well If it's used after big/key moments, plot points, reveals, etc. Obviously there are exceptions, and if You feel it's necessary

Bro, this is exactly the problem witht the fic. A girl asked a question, then you go deep and HALF of the ENTIRE CHAPTER is narrative. you cooked so long you burnt the food

I don't know how to feel about this. When I first read this story, I thought it would be an isolated fic, no more crossovers until a certain point, like the 3 building up something, interacting and affecting plot etc. There's already a lot to work with within star wars I'm terms of antagonists. But bringing in more from 40k this early I'll probably stop reading.

good luck with the rest

true shes a lil overrated

that's too little for a football rising star no?

this is stupid, why expect to level skills that are 90+ do soon?

your fixs great, but there's a bit too much thought and analysis from both sides, given the context of the situation. We know about shadow slave, it's government, and how the mc thinks. rather, in situations like this, advance the plot. same with the previous 2 chapters, but not as bad as this one