I am the drug in your veins

Haruchiyo stepped away from the door. How could someone ever truly love me? He ran his sleeve across his face, the tears soaking through his white shirt, mocking him. He looked back at the dining table covered in food half eaten. She did, she loved me and I ruined it. He had lost his appetite, and grabbed his glass of whiskey throwing back its remains. He made his way into his bathroom; turning on the light he hovered over the sink grasping it tightly on both sides. I can't even look at myself. Letting out a tsk, he turned the water on its coldest setting. I need to calm down. Sanzu splashed his face several times, blindly reaching for his hand towel to dry his face. Once dry and more composed he opened his medicine cabinet. The bottle of Xanax inside looked just as seducing as Y/n had in that dress.

Y/n went into the half bathroom to grab tissues to dry her tears. She didn't bother turning on the light, I don't even want to know how disheveled I look. Leaving the small restroom, she took off her heels, slipped off the dress, and sat at the end of the bed. Defeated, she heaved a sigh and fell down onto the opulent mattress. Closing her eyes to melt further into the comfort she realized she could still smell him on her skin. Same cologne as back then; bet you did it on purpose. Opening up her lids again, Y/n looked towards the closet, the mirrors only caught her silhouette. She crawled further up the bed to turn on the antique lantern styled lamp on the side table. Deep red light pooled out from the dark metal encaging it. Y/n sat on her knees to examine herself in the floor to ceiling mirrors. Hair out of place from his hands running through it, tired eyes from the tears, body barely covered in black straps. Why did I even wear this? The thought of him finding the lingerie under her dress crossed her mind. Well that's not happening. But she couldn't shake off the throbbing heat radiating from her lips.

Both lips.

She reached up to her face, still watching herself, and let her fingertips ghost over her mouth. He had left them swollen and raw with the pressure of his kisses and the pull of his teeth. She let her head fall down onto the pillows littering the headboard, fixated on the intimate kiss they had shared. He did it, bastard sucked me right back in. Her heart filled to the brim as all their intimate moments flooded her mind space. They had laughed together, cried together, held each other. Weekends curled up in his bed with nothing but open-ended conversation and movies from the rental store playing in the background. Date nights to fancy restaurants and hole-in-the-wall fast food spots. Carnivals, the beach, picnics in the park. They experienced new things together, taking on whatever life had to offer or throw their way. They had promised each other forever, and Y/n could've spent forever with him. The sensual moments, they knew each other's bodies better than their own. The heat from that kiss reminded her just how good he made her feel emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Y/n let her hand travel down her body.

He couldn't do it, couldn't bring himself to open the pill bottle and numb the pain. I deserve this, I need to feel this. She probably felt like this after that night so it's about damn time I did too. He had gone back into the living room and started cleaning up the mess that dinner had turned in to. He started with his plate, wrapped up the leftover food putting it in the fridge, and then made his way to Y/n's table set. His eyes lingered to the chair he had pulled out. I need to fix this. I need to apologize. I couldn't even talk to her without trying to make a move. He looked from the chair to the door. I need her back, but I need her to know how sorry I am first. Walking over hesitantly, his hand lingering over the doorknob he heard a whimper muffled by the door. She's still crying, fuck, I am such an asshole. Maybe I should wait to talk to her.

I've waited long enough. She's here now and it's my only chance. Senju will be here the day after tomorrow to come take her home. He opened the door, softly, he was convinced his presence would instantly be rejected. The sight before Haruchiyo made his eyes wide, his jaw slack, and his cock perk up in his dress pants. Y/n's head was thrown back in the mess of pillows, her chest heaving, knees apart while she slipped two fingers in and out of herself. The whimper Sanzu had heard wasn't muffled now and the hum of pleasure escaping her lips was music to his ears. A song he hadn't heard play in a very long time, nostalgic. "Y/n." he whispered out her name and she whipped her head up. Wide eyed and flushed with embarrassment, if it weren't for the light in the room her burning red face would've been noticeable. She started to retreat her fingers and say something but he took a step towards the bed.

"Don't stop," he pawed one hand on his growing erection, the other hand signaling some sort of surrender, "Don't stop. Please. It's fine baby," the word of endearment subconsciously slipping from his mouth.

"It's fine. You can think about him. Just let me watch."

Y/n was hesitant until she saw the growing lust behind his narrowing eyes. His sight set on her core while he fumbled with his belt. Complete concentration. Even after all this time she made him pussy drunk, his expression dumb but the look in his eyes was like a predator. His pupils would dilate the way a cats would when they see a mouse. Her body reacted before she could overthink the way her heart felt and dipped her fingers back down and into herself. She couldn't handle the utter embarrassment of being caught so she let her head fall back to avoid his eyes. Having the man on her mind in the room had amplified the deep need growing inside of her. She could feel herself getting wetter, hand getting slippery, but she couldn't obtain the pressure or pleasure she needed by herself. She removed her fingers from her slick hole to give her clit the attention it desperately needed at the moment. She was building up that first wave when she felt the bottom of the bed dip.

Sanzu had rolled up his sleeves, and let his dress pants sit on his thighs, and was now making his way towards her on his knees. Y/n looked up, shocked, "What're you doing!?" he let his eyes flick up from her swollen pussy to make quick eye contact, then he looked back down. He licked his lips and settled himself in front of the knees she had just closed. He clasped down on both her legs, rotating his hands outward as he rested them right inside her lower thighs. He went to push her open but felt some resistance. He locked eyes with Y/n again not breaking the contact until she relaxed. As he slowly forced her knees apart, he looked back down at her dripping pussy. "If I'm going to jerk off, I need lube."

He shifted even closer to her and she watched as he pulled her panties to the side and placed himself in between her folds. Sliding his member up and down her lips so he could collect her slick. He groaned as he did it, mouth slightly open and eyebrows and nose wrinkled, euphoria washing over him. He pulled back from her, leaning back on his knees, taking the lingerie with him, and stroking himself. "Keep going." he snapped, sounding aggravated that she wasn't playing her with bundle of nerves anymore. She went back to make quick circles, and the wave of the impending orgasm rising even faster. It was what he had done and the look on his face that was going to throw her over the edge.

He wanted to savor this moment so Haruchiyo masturbated slowly. Unbuttoning his shirt with his free hand as he started to heat up. His eyes had been locked onto Y/n's fingers and the hard work they were putting in to seek pleasure. He remembered her body well and was quick to notice her toes begin to curl. She's going to cum soon. He looked away from the mess she was making to see her face, he always loved the fucked-out expression she made when she orgasmed. He was expecting her eyes to be closed, her face scrunched up, but instead she was focused on the way he was caressing his shaft. He couldn't contain the growl in the back of his throat, and she met his eyes.

"Are you gunna cum?" he said low, raspy, and wickedly. A smirk, cocky on his face,

"You're looking at me but are you thinking about me?"

The wave crashed and Y/n convulsed under her own fingers. Watching her come undone washed Haruchiyo away of his sanity. The way he needed her was animalistic and automatic. He felt that if he did not drive himself into her and feel those walls squeeze him, he would implode. He didn't let her slow down or come down from her high, but slapped her hand away from her clit. Taking her wrist and slamming the arm over her head to pin her in place. He didn't even bother with her other arm, but took his free hand to his dick and aligned it with Y/n's entrance. She whined under him, "Sanzu, condom."

That was it, the last straw, and he broke. She had deprived him of her body for years and had the indecency to call him that. His face went dark, angry eyes, but he kept that cocky smile. "No can-do doll face." he drove himself inside of her to the hilt, no prep, and Y/n cried out at the sudden stretch of his length. "You're forgetting this pussy is mine."

He seized her hips in his hands and adjusted them to an angle. He took his opportunity to slam into her at a dizzying pace. His hand left her wrist to grab the back of her neck and pull her into a tooth clattering kiss. Each thrust brutal and kissing her cervix, the overstimulation sending her into overdrive quickly. Her eyes began to roll back, babbling moans, when he let go of her body to capture her face. Giving her cheeks a series of small slaps to keep her present, "You're not allowed to get lost in this, you're feeling every last push." He pulled out all the way to the tip and punched back in with each of those last three words. She cried out, the chord in her abdomen snapped and Y/n burst all over him. Soaking him and the blankets beneath them. "That's what I'm talking about Y/n." He allowed her to ride this wave, come down slow and steady.

Her chest heaved, big deep breaths to reclaim a sense of equilibrium. The haze in her mind wasn't completely gone when he pulled out of her. "Put it back." she whined again. He pinched her cheeks together in his large hand. "Don't be a brat or I'll walk out of this room and jerk myself off on the couch." All she could do was nod and he kissed her cheek on both sides where he had held her. He got off the bed to stand at the end of it and used his height to his advantage, reaching up and grabbing onto Y/n's hips again to slide her towards him. He removed his pants completely and was quick to discard the bra she had on. He held under her knees to push them up closer to her body almost touching her shoulders. He stared at her core, still leaking from squirting before. "So fucking pretty," he bent down and kissed her clit, "Takes me so good." He stood back up, repositioned himself, and at an exaggerated, excruciating pace slid back into Y/n. Once he was fully engulfed by her warm walls, he leaned in to kiss her lips and she accepted openly. He moved slow inside her and worked his mouth down her jaw and neck.

His pace began to pick up, as he bit a hickey into the tender part of her neck. His hand snaked down to rub on her tender clit, the other pinching her nipple. Pulling off with a pop he kissed the spot tenderly. Y/n could feel his smirk against her skin, the tension and heated rising inside her. Before she could register it completely his rhythm became violent again. Slamming into her, his pelvis slapping her skin hard sending sloppy noises into the room. He reached behind her neck again in what she thought would be a kiss only to run his hands up into the nape of her hair, clenching his hand into a fist and pulling hard. Y/n couldn't stop her back from arching, shoulders and ass pressed into the mattress. He didn't slow down his pace, or stop rubbing her, and she quickly came undone around him again. Still holding onto her hair, Sanzu leaned over and on top of her body. The eye contact burning into each other's minds. He pushed one hand down on her stomach to stop her arching and pressed their foreheads together.

"I'm going to fuck you until you fall in love with me."

Those familiar words reverberated an echo in her mind, and for a split second looking at him in this light he looked exactly how he did seven years ago. She felt exactly how she did back then too. Dry mouth, lost for words she could only look into his blue eyes. "Come on say it Y/n. You know what I want to hear."

"I'm going to fall in love with you." His tight grip turned soft and they pressed together, kissing heavily. He rubbed her cheek with the back of his hand and then pushed her head to the side so she could watch them in the mirror, "You see that doll face? That's the way it's supposed to be. I promise, you and I are fate." he kissed her cheek and pressed his forehead to the side of her head while she watched him ruthlessly plunge into her.

She turned back, rubbing her face against his, "Haru," Y/n whispered softly. Haruchiyo's eyes widened and he stilled completely. His eyes began to water, his breath heavy, disbelief washing over him. Y/n reached up, tenderly touching his face reburning him to memory. She glided over his scars and onto his lips. Leaning in and pressing her lips against his with care. A tear slipped down her cheek, his tears pattered onto her skin. Y/n wiped them away, "Shhhh, don't cry Haru." He nodded and began thrusting into her again. Their lips never left each other, tongues tasting, and hands traveling. It didn't take long for Haruchiyo to get sloppy. "Say my name, say my name." his words were breathless, he was so very close. Y/n let out cries of his name, his first name, over and over while he let his final momentum drive into her. They locked lips quickly in a deep kiss as he filled her up. He couldn't stop. He could not stop cumming, his load heavy and deep inside her. He was making up for all their lost time and reclaiming her body, mind, and soul as his.

Their bodies were still intimately connected, foreheads together while they breathed heavily into each other. Y/n flicked her eyes up to meet Haru's, "I think you did it," she was out of breath, "I think I'm going to fall in love with you." He let out a huff, a real smile that hurt his face because he hadn't been this happy in so long. She kissed his nose and he slid out of her. She threw her arms up above her head, catching her breath and smiling as well. He reached under her body to bridal carry her to the bathroom.

"Let me clean you up beautiful."

He was scrubbing her tired body when Y/n looked up at him through teary eyes. His mind raced at the thought that she regretted what they had done. She smiled at him, a lazy half smile but eyes still pooling. He was quick to rinse her off and get them out of the shower. He shushed her, wiped her eyes, and dried Y/n with a towel. He picked her back up once his towel was around his hips, and carried her back into the bedroom. Haru placed her at the end of the bed and rummaged through his closet. When he found an oversized shirt, he pulled it over her head and guided her arms through it. Y/n yawned deeply and the tears that had been threatening to spill over did. Not heavy weeps, but just light streams. Haruchiyo kneeled in front of her, touching her thigh and staring up at her. He was on the verge of breaking down himself, anxiety swelled in his heart. His racing thoughts were subdued when Y/n finally spoke up,

"You were right you know?

I could never love any one as much as I love you."