webnovel
thePRIESTLv124mth
2024-10-03 20:35

Bruh if you are going to write by using A.I. then make it less obvious. I am 43 chapters in, and it is painful how all the internal monologues are just repeated ideas in different wording. When other characters face off, like in chap 43, then it is obvious that an A.I. is narrating the emotions and dialogue. If you are not using A.I. then you are simply overdoing it - there are better ways to describe character emotions and development.

Liked by 48 people

LIKE
Replies5
FrialExistenceLv3

Felt that... the purple proses are a bit too much, to the point of obsession, a normal human wouldn't go that far. Hell, it was an AI...

APDateLv4

Yeah, it screams A.I. material. The weird obsession with technical words. The use of the same few choice words, that, wouldn't you know, are also the favourites of AI. The unnecessary added phrases that add nothing to the story and instead both makes it harder to flow and just outs itself as AI generated. C'mon man. At least make it look like a human wrote this.

FernandoRubioLv4

Seguiste la historia o te fuiste,en jeneral esta buena después del primer volumen.

Tamriel43Lv2

I feel you, because there very dramatic switches for characters and there goals

Saif_Ali_8357Lv15

I mean you may not be wrong but I don’t think you’re right completely, however maybe this is a sign that I need to AI my own story and just write that because tbh this is my current favorite, then I wouldn’t have to spend money on coins

Other Reviews
Related Stories

An Extra’s Rise in an Eroge

Arthur, an avid gamer, accepts his friend’s dare to beat an infamous eroge game that no one has ever completed. The problem? The game is designed to trap players in endless smut scenes, with every decision leading to the same outcome: more smut scenes, world destruction and game over. After countless failed attempts and growing frustration, Arthur takes to the game's community forum, venting his anger at the developers. To his shock, he receives a cryptic response from the developer challenging him to find a different ending. Moments later, Arthur is pulled into the game itself, awakening in the body of an unremarkable extra. Arthur finds himself embodying the very lifestyle he once despised—fooling around at every turn and getting swept up in the woman's seductive temptations. Can Arthur resist the game’s temptations, uncover hidden paths, and finally break free? Or will he become yet another player lost to its endless scenes? or he will do both? Follow Arthur’s journey for a fresh story filled with humor, plot twists, and concepts you won’t find elsewhere. This novel includes incest, so if that's something you're uncomfortable with, you may want to avoid it. [Warning: Mature content R-18 ] Tags:- Harem, Op Mc, smut, romance, Milfs, Virgins, Netori, Succubus, Vampires, Elves, Princesses, Gilfs, Demonesses, Angels, Goddesses, Dragons, Phoenixes, Dryads, long seggs scenes, System, and many more. Release Schedule & Support: Chapter Releases: 2 daily chapters, each with 1k+ words. Support & Bonuses: I'm newly contracted and part of the win-win program! Privilege purchases, gifts, golden tickets, power stones, collections, and especially comments are greatly appreciated and keep me motivated. Give this a try—it’s a story that promises surprises at every turn, as long as you make it through the beginning!

Sensual_Sage · Fantasy
4.5
182 Chs

Young Master's PoV: Woke Up As A Villain In A Game One Day

"Now you see?" she shouted in a mix of annoyance and disappointment. "You can't outsmart Scrients! They're the most intelligent beings across the two realms." "You're right," I muttered, averting my gaze with a heavy sigh. "I made a mistake. I was too arrogant to think that a mere human like me could fool them." —BOOM!! "Heik! Wh-What was that?" "Hmm? I'm not sure. Maybe you should go and ask the most intelligent beings across the two realms. Oh wait, you can't. I killed them all.” ______ My name is Samael Kaizer Theosbane. On the last day of high school, I got into a fight with a kid I used to bully. It was a stupid, pointless scuffle, and in the middle of it, I tripped and hit my head on a rock. That’s when the memories came flooding in - the memories of another life, of a different world. Suddenly, everything made a twisted kind of sense. I realized two things. First, I was in a game I used to play in my past life. Second, I was a villain. A villain! Not the cool and mysterious kind, either. No, my destiny was to be manipulated and die a dog's death! I was the worst type of cliché: an ungrateful, privileged, insufferable young master. The sort you'd find in those poorly written fantasy stories. The kind everyone hates — a snobby brat from a powerful noble family who thinks he owns the world just because he was born with a silver spoon lodged in his mouth. You know the type. The one the hero beats to a pulp to prove his worth. Yeah, I was that guy. And the hero? The hero was the kid I’d been bullying all this time. The same one I got into a fight with. He was the supposed savior of this damned world. A world teetering on the edge of destruction, beset by wars, calamities, and a grim future that only I knew. And at the end of it all, the final antagonist of the game, the undefeatable boss… the Spirit King, was waiting. But could I even make it to the end? Could I conquer a game where defeat was the only certainty? A game that was now my reality! “Ah, fuck it.” I had no idea if I could, but I sure as hell was going to try. Extorting extras, manipulating main characters, twisting the story to my advantage, stealing the hero’s cheat items, killing villains before they could become threats - nothing was beneath me. Would the main characters be affected? Who cares! Would the story change? Even better! All I cared about was me—my survival, my life, my choices. “I will live this life with no regrets.” …But as I soon discovered, fate was not easily changed. And the price of altering one's destiny was steep.

The_One_Who_Was · Fantasy
4.7
126 Chs

Talent Awakening: Draconic Overlord Of The Apocalypse

"Level up? Dragons?" Eighteen. The age of Awakening. An important moment where every human in the desolate maga-cities unlocks their Talent, a unique ability to carve a path in this monster-plagued apocalyptic world. Alister Hazenworth, a graduating student, and a rising star at the prestigious Aegis Academy, was destined for greatness. His exceptional athleticism and magical aptitude promise a powerful Talent – a guarantee for a secure life and social status. But fate had different plans. During Alister's Awakening ceremony, it's revealed that he's a Summoner. Instead of admiration, he faces mockery. His once bright future turns bleak as his "friends" desert him for Talents they see as more "useful." left alone, Alister awakens a system. [Host found, system binding...] [System binded successfully.] [Congrats, you have gain the status of 'player'.] [Ding!! Congrats to the player for awakening The Dragonforge - an overlord system.] [Ding!! it has been detected that the player possesses a latent draconic aspect, and as such will only be able to summon dragons!!] [Will the player like to proceed with their first summoning?] Cast aside and underestimated, Alister becomes a force to be reckoned with. He embarks on a journey, building his own dragon army – a crew of majestic wyverns, fearsome drakes, and ancient wyrms. He raids the wastelands, reclaims lost resources, and dismantles the prejudice against summoners. Every day, his power grows, his bond with his dragons deepens, and his legend spreads like wildfire. Discord server: https://discord.gg/zbQwWCSCrn [A/N: This is a slow paced novel, don't expect the protagonist to suddenly start out overpowered and start dominating left and right, he will become an overlord of dragons, yes, but it will take time. (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)] Cover made by me /⁠ᐠ⁠。⁠ꞈ⁠。⁠ᐟ⁠\

Zurbluris · Fantasy
4.4
411 Chs