webnovel
Sh3f_KUN
Sh3f_KUNLv21yr
2024-04-17 15:28

Please continue this story *)[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
jackjx
jackjxLv1

Reverse_9612
Reverse_9612Lv2
TempestDrift
TempestDriftLv5
Yue_021
Yue_021Lv14

Binged around 150 Chaps all night before stopping. It was very good at first but then the plot becomes repetitive and the pacing became too fast which robbed that good experience I felt in the early chaps.If I have if honest I truly enjoyed the so called 'filler' slife of life chapters you stopped making after a certain point, its gives depth to the character and could have been another plot point to avoid the repetitiveness of the business side. Like you could have explored Mira's life in college and how her relationship with the mc impacted her life there. The reactions of the classmates? How did the treatment of her change when he donated a sum of money to the school? Perhaps you can have some male student attempt to 'flirt' her and how she rejects it and then follwed by the mc showing him that she is his. There is a lot of aspects in his relationship with not only with Mira but also her parents, her sister, his sisters, and etc. There's a lot of plotpoint that could have been explored. These things had a lot of potential that would give depth to your characters. Making them more relatable and easy to sympathize with. But we barely get any of it and then at certain point completely stopped it.There also the problem where you repeatedly told a scene instead of showing it. Like they said "Show not Tell". You did it right with the buying of the marriage ring. You showed us, instead of just saying "He bought an elegant ring" and leave it at that.I believe it was a bad move when you stopped making the so called 'filler' slice-of-slife chaps after the marriage chapter. Those where the things that I enjoyed and helped avoid the reptitiveness of the business side. So much potential but was not explored.Hope this helps you improve author. I geniunely enjoyed reading this book.

Related Stories

The Witcher: Wolf School's Hunting Notes

In 1179, Allen Transmigrated into the World of The Witcher. That year,The Wolf School was at its peak. In the castle of Kaer Morhen, more than twenty witchers and nearly fifty witcher apprentices were active. However, The undercurrent of the school's downfall had already begun to stir quietly. In such a situation, Allen couldn't stay unaffected. Fortunately, he awakened the Hunting Notes, which allowed him to grow stronger by slaying monsters. [Ding! Successfully completed the first monster hunt: Drowned Dead, Evaluation: B] [Rewards: Essence of Drowned Dead's Heart*1, Book: "A Brief Discussion on Twenty-Three Ways to Cook Drowned Dead" ...] Allen: ? Did something strange slip in? ... Years later, The Witcher Guild's bases were spread across the continent, standing above the Council of Mages, becoming the largest neutral organization on the continent. In the grand hall of the Witcher Guild's headquarters, Allen the Master, known as the Drowned Dead Slayer, Monster Nemesis, and Foglet Champion Hunter, was explaining his authored work "Monster Economics" to the apprentices. "Apprentices, what is the most valuable part of a Drowned Dead?" "Drowned Dead's brain?" "Wrong!" "Drowned Dead's tongue?" "Wrong!" Seeing the reverence and confusion in the apprentices' expressions, Allen's eyes were filled with deep emotion: "The entire body of a Drowned Dead is a treasure!" ........................... Disclaimer: All rights to the original content belong to their respective creators. Support me on: p@treon.com/Uchiha_Itachi007 (replace @ with a) For Pictures: You can check on my p@treon. The chapter released here are free for all to see with attached picture on p@treon. Translated Original:猎魔人:狼学派的狩魔手记 Author: 铬先生

Uchiha_Itachi007 · Video Games
4.5
432 Chs

Genshin Impact: Strength Through Bonds

Synopsis: Note Before Reading: Daily life + Romance + Combat Takahashi Ren finds himself in the world of Genshin Impact. His unique ability allows him to gain "Emotion Points" and unlock talents by forming bonds with girls. [Sorry, no Emotion Points detected.] Life is tough, so Takahashi Ren embarks on a journey to... exploit opportunities—no, to bond his way to power. [Ding! Successfully deceived Ayaka. Emotion Points +1.] [Unlocked Talent: Kamisato Swordsmanship.] "You're up to no good." Takahashi Ren: "I was just teaching her how to play chess. Stop overthinking." [Ding! Gained the friendship of an anonymous Master Chef. Emotion Points +1.] [Unlocked Talent: Heavenly Street Stroll.] "If I want to get even stronger... is there a chance to learn the Musou no Hitotachi?" [Ding! Earned the favor of a mysterious village girl. Emotion Points +1.] ...Wait a second, when was this character added to Genshin? [Ding! Unlock task detected: Musou no Hitotachi.] [Please embed yourself in the blade-drawing stance for several minutes to savor its essence.] "If you wanted the story to end in Chapter One, just say so!" —— Updates: Mon,Tues,Thurs-Sat To Unlock Bonus Chapters: Reach 30/40/50/100/200/400 Power Stones! 6 Extra Chapters! Reach 800 Power Stones to activate NP! Resets Weekly! [Monday] —— Disclaimer: All rights to the original content belong to their respective creators. Original Name: 原神:人在提瓦特,贴贴就能变强 Author: 萌红叶 —— Advanced Chapters! [patreon.com/WiseTL]

WiseTL · Video Games
4.6
195 Chs